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Why Trading Spaces Isn’t For You

All good things get rebooted, so naturally Trading Spaces will make its way back into our lives in 2018.  Trading Spaces was an upgrade from all the other home renovation shows.  There was an extra element of anticipation as we watched to see if neighbors would rage against their friends based off of hasty home improvements. Trading Spaces is reality show perfection. Because of their delight, viewers might be tempted to apply to trade their own spaces.  This would be a huge mistake. Trading Spaces is most likely a home renovation prank show. Rarely are their designs attractive or practical. Recently, TLC has been asking for participants to apply to swap spaces. Unless you are trying to talk to your neighbors less, we must remind ourselves that nothing good comes out of a Trading Spaces renovation.

Reason #1: Designer Roulette

Participants aren’t guaranteed which designer will be assigned to their home.  If you’re lucky, you’ll get Genevieve, the Trading Spaces version of Blake Lively or Vern Yip, the designer who can’t stop flexing. Each professional is different, but what they all have in common is that they roll right over the homeowners’ suggestions.  Partly because they know better and partly because they don’t care, all of the designers stick to what inspires them.  Genevieve showcased this disposition when she based a whole room around a kimono for a woman who wanted anything but an Asian aesthetic for her home.  She showed that the designer’s vision takes precedence over your preferences.  You can throw your vision board for your home in that newly sponge painted trashcan.

Reason #2: Hay Walls

Never Forget.

I repeat Hay Walls. Hildi is notorious for creating looks that are unconventional. She once used the word “orthogonal.” That alone should be a red flag.  In the most infamous story in Trading Spaces lore, Hildi took liquid adhesive and permanently stuck hay on the walls. HAY ON THE WALLS! That’s pure evil because you definitely can’t paint over old grass.  I haven’t even addressed the issues with allergies. Simply entertaining the idea of adhering hay to the walls should talk anyone out of Trading Spaces.

Reason #3: Intense Personalization

Trading Spaces loves to identify small, unique characteristics in their owners and magnify that quirk throughout the room.  For example, one couple wasn’t able to go on a honeymoon. The lapse in wedding traditions inspired the designers to turn their bedroom into a jungle retreat.  They thatched bamboo to the ceiling, placed zebra pelts on the bed and hung a single bunch of plastic bananas on the wall.   The jungle room was a nightmare, but is intensely personal to these two specific people.

Reason #4: Quick Fixes

Renovators are limited by many factors like time, money and natural talent.   The limitations ensure that designers will have to cut corners somewhere.  Denim slipcovers become viable options. Discounted paint colors are used.  Homeowners are stuck hot gluing pillows together.  The whole situation is made quick fast and in a hurry.  In the best case scenario, you get to see Ty Pennington and his frenetic energy scramble to make your dining room table out of pallet scraps.

For all reality TV watchers there is an urge to participate.  Trading Spaces offers a reality show experience without the assumption of a sexy hot tub scene or a survival challenge.  What could be better than upgrading your home, wearing dorky work shirts and spending time with your friendly neighbors? The answer is, watching someone else ruin their home’s value from your slipcovered couch.  Especially since you don’t have to cover up a hideous paint job afterwards.

IF you still aren’t deterred, here’s the link to the application: You have been warned.

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.