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The Perfect American Movie Road Trip – Part Two

 

Road Trip

 

We have reached the halfway point in our journey. The halfway part of the journey is when you really settle into your vacation groove.  This is the point when you lose your normal wake up time and you totally embrace being the touristy goober. The halfway point is the best.

In Part One of our Perfect American Movie Road Trip, the designated route took us through the Midwest, the West Coast and the Wild West. The next twenty-five films will take us through the Dirty South and the East Coast. As a word of caution, there was a lot of potential for Nicolas Sparks movies. So, with this warning in mind, sit back, relax and travel the states without leaving your couch. The plus side is you don’t have to buy I ❤NY shirts for your whole family and you get to sleep in your own bed.

State: Tennessee

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Graceland

Movie: Walk the Line

Tagline: “Love is a burning thing.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “Baby, baby, baby.” —with a June Carter twang

 

State: Mississippi

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Vicksburg National Military Park

Movie: O Brother Where Art Thou?

Tagline: “They have a plan, but not a clue.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “ Do….Not….Seek….The….Treasure….”

 

State: LouisianaSteel Magnolias

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The French Quarter

Movie: Steel Magnolias

Tagline: “The funniest movie to ever make you cry.”

Rating: ðŸ˜­ðŸ˜­ðŸ˜­ðŸ˜­

Most Notable Movie Quote:

Shelby: My colors are “blush” and “bashful”

M’Lynn: Her colors are pink and pink

Or

“Shelby, drink your juice!”

 

State: Alabama

Suggested Landmark To Visit: USS Alabama

Movie: Forrest Gump, Sweet Home Alabama was a distant second

Tagline: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: The entire movie

 

State: Florida20150604_213759

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Cape Canaveral

Movie: Scarface, Magic Mike was a close second

Tagline: “He loved the American Dream. With a Vengeance.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “Say hello to my little friend.” (Thankfully this is not said in the second runner up movie)

 

State: Tyler Perry’s Georgia

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Okefenokee Swamp Park!

Movie: Tyler Perry’s A Diary of a Mad Black Woman      

Tagline: “Get ready to meet a real straight shooter.”

Rating: ☆☆☆ *don’t judge me

Most Notable Movie Quote: Anytime Madea has a calculator

 

State: South CarolinaBird

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Fort Sumter National Park

Movie: The Notebook

Tagline: “Behind every great love is a great story.”

Rating: ðŸ’”💔💔💔

Most Notable Movie Quote: “If you’re a bird. I’m a bird.”

 

State: West Virginia

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Lost World Caverns

Movie: The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia    

Fact: The best documentary you will every watch

Rating: Most Notable Movie Quote: “She lost her baby….her…” —One of the Whites at a Taco Bell Drive thru

 

State: North Carolina

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Wright Brothers National Memorial

Movie: The Campaign, it was either this or another Nicolas Sparks movie

Tagline: “May the best loser win.”

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “Bring your broom, because it’s a mess.”

 

State: Virginia

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Mount Vernon

Movie: Pocahontas  

Tagline: “Can you paint with all the colors of the wind” *I’m just assuming

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Underrated Disney Sidekick:

 percy

 

District: Washington, D.C.

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The White House

Movie: Legally Blonde, there are far too many to pick from

Tagline: “Believing in yourself NEVER goes out of style!”

Rating: ☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “Bend….and Snap!”

 

State: Maryland

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Maryland State House

Movie: Wedding Crashers  

Tagline: “Hide your bridesmaids.”

Rating: ☆☆ *might be a controversial call

Most Notable Movie Quote: “You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”

 

State: Delaware

Suggested Landmark To Visit: New Castle Historic District

Movie: Fight Club

Tagline: “Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “I am Jack’s inflamed sense of rejection.

 

State: New Jersey

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Congress Place

Movie: Garden State

Rating: ☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: All I remember is them shouting across the garbage dump.

 

State: PennsylvaniaHouseguest

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The Liberty Bell

Movie: Sinbad’s Houseguest

Tagline: “He came. He ate. He stayed.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ *no other rating is acceptable

Most Notable Movie Moment: When Sinbad’s hands are numbed with Novocain AND HE CAN’T USE THEM TO EXTRACT THE TOOTH! Comedic Gold.

 

State: New York

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The Statue of Liberty

Movie: There are too many movies set in New York, so I’m just going to pick the beginning of Weekend at Bernie’s

Tagline: “A lively comedy about a man who isn’t.”

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Moment: When Bernie moves it like Bernie

 

State: Connecticutskulls

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The Mark Twain House & Museum

Movie: The Skulls

Tagline: “Getting in is easy. Getting out is killer”

Rating: ☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “If it’s secret and elite, it can’t be good.”

 

State: Rhode Island

Suggested Landmark To Visit: The Breakers

Movie: Apparently, Cheaper by the Dozen is set in Rhode Island

Rating: ☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “Clean up in aisle twelve.”

 

State: Massachusetts

Suggested Landmark To Visit: USS Constitution

Movie: Hocus Pocus

Tagline: “It’s all a bunch of Hocus Pocus.”

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ *no other rating is acceptable

Best Name In All of Cinema: Thackery Binx

 

State: Maine

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Acadia National Park

Movie: Lake Placid

Tagline: “You’ll never know what bit you.”

Rating: ðŸŠ

Most Hardcore Betty White Moment: 

betty white

State: New Hampshire

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Mount Washington Hotel

Movie: Eight Crazy Nights

Tagline: “It’s naughty. It’s nice. It’s animated.”

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: Anything Whitey Says

 

State: Vermont

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Shelburne Farms

Movie: Super Troopers

Tagline: “You don’t mess with the law. The law messes with you.”

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Notable Movie Quote: “The snozzberries tastes like snozzberries.”

 

State: Michigan

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Fox Theatre

Movie: 8 Mile

Tagline: “Lose Yourself in the Music.”

Rating: ☆☆☆

Most Notable Rhyme for “Sweater Already”: “Mom’s Spaghetti.”

 

State: Ohio

Suggested Landmark To Visit: Spring Grove Cemetery, Fun!

Movie: Little Giants

Tagline: “The comic telling of a gridiron miracle!”

Rating: ☆☆☆

The Little Giants Face When They Heard About The Real Giants’ Deflategate:  Little Giants

 

We made it through all fifty states. I’m sure you are completely content with all my choices. The plus side is that we went from sea to shining sea, and now you don’t have to unpack your laundry that smells like every hotel room you slept in during the trip.

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.