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The Kentucky Wildcats as Star Wars Characters


With Star Wars fever once again gripping the nation ahead of this weekend’s release of The Force Awakens it’s time to engage in the fine internet tradition of making metaphors of two of your favorite things. On the dockett this week: The 2015-16 Kentucky Wildcats as Star Wars characters:

Skal Labissiere is Luke Skywalker

Skal Skywalker

While Skal doesn’t appear to be the leading character of this year’s Kentucky team he does embody several of the same qualities as Luke Skywalker. In the beginning of the Star Wars movies Luke is a timid farmer who holds within him a great power that can shape the entire galaxy. This season Skal is in a similar position. At times he appears to lack the aggression needed to be a force in college basketball. Still, the flashes of greatness lurk just below the surface especially on the offensive side of the ball. Coach Cal plays the role of Yoda trying to bring out that hidden potential. If Skal can evolve from mild-mannered teen into basketball Jedi then not even Cloud City is the limit for this team

Isaiah Briscoe Is Han Solo

Isaiah Solo

Han Solo is by far the coolest character in Star Wars. He has the best lines. The coolest ship. He gets the girl. He’s often imitated but never duplicated. While it remains to be seen if Isaiah Briscoe is the coolest member of this year’s team he’s off to a great start. He had the mouthpiece thing which was on it’s way to John Wall dance/unibrow/flat top levels before Cal gave it the axe. He plays with a gunslinger mentality as he invents ways to get to the basket and finish. He looks to talk the best trash of anyone on the team. And like Mr. Solo, Isaiah Briscoe always shoots first.

Tyler Ulis is Obi-Wan Kenobi

Tyler Kenobi

“A legendary Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi was a noble man and gifted in the ways of the Force” As just a sophomore it’s kind of odd to call Tyler Ulis a grizzled veteran but he plays much older than his years. With a regular season record of 40-1 Tyler is well on his way to becoming a legendary Wildcat and he’s shown no signs of slowing down. The force is indeed strong in Ulis and he’s the driving force behind the Kentucky order much like Obi-Wan led the Jedi.

Alex Poythress is Chewbacca


Alex roars. Chewbacca roars. Chewbacca is the enforcer for Han Solo and his antics. Alex is the enforcer for this year’s Kentucky team. They both can bring the house down with glass shattering dunks. Nuff’ said.

Rick Pitino is Emperor Palpatine

Emperor Pitino

It’s a confirmed fact that you’ve never seen these two in the same place. Also rebel spies uncovered this conversation circa July 2009.

Tom Jurich: What is thy bidding, my master?
Emperor Pitino:
There is a great disturbance in the state.
Tom Jurich:
I have felt it.
Emperor Pitino:
We have a new enemy, the coach who can return Kentucky to the promised land.
Tom Jurich:
How is that possible?
Emperor Pitino:
Search your feelings, Tommy. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us.
Tom Jurich:
His success is a fluke. Derrick Rose can no longer help him.
Emperor Pitino:
The Force is strong with him. Eric Bledsoe must not become a Wildcat.
Tom Jurich:
If he could be ruled ineliglble, future players would not commit to Kentucky .
Emperor Pitino:
Yes. His failure would be a great asset. Can it be done?
Tom Jurich:
We will see that the transcript is leaked, my master.


So how about Jamal Murray? Isaac Humphries? Derek Willis? Will they fit well with the new characters from The Force Awakens? I guess we will find out this weekend. Star Wars and Kentucky basketball, fit like a glove.


Article written by Andrew Cassady

Follow me @ACassady_KSR

5 Comments for The Kentucky Wildcats as Star Wars Characters

  1. Kyblue34
    9:48 pm December 15, 2015 Permalink

    Skal would be better as C3P0. Murray should be Lando!

  2. dandycat
    10:10 pm December 15, 2015 Permalink

    Jurich has got to be Emperor Palpatine…Rick is Vader….hello switching from the light to the dark side??

  3. nschulte13
    12:22 am December 16, 2015 Permalink

    I think we need to consult with an expert on this… Shannon the Dude.

    Cal is Yoda

  4. SalsaKat
    9:52 am December 16, 2015 Permalink

    Erin Calipari = Princess Leia. The daughter of the king (i.e., a princess) and she doesn’t take any crap from the bad guys and speaks her mind.

  5. Rajonrondo9
    12:07 pm December 16, 2015 Permalink

    I think Lee is C3PO. Hawkins R2D2. Murray is Mace Windu lol