Hello, friends. I hope you’re well. And I hope you’re good and recovered by now from the sad conclusion to our men’s basketball team season. It was a tough one, though I don’t need to tell you that. With the season at a close, and all who are declaring for the NBA declared and ready to leave, we here at KSR would like to administer a brief survey to you at season’s end for our own internal purposes before you the dead period before football talk starts up again. It should only take a few minutes and we appreciate your time.
1. How pleased were you with the overall season?
a.) Very pleased.
b.) Somewhat pleased.
c.) Not pleased.
d.) Pleased, then very pleased, then not pleased.
2. How could this season have ended which would have been more satisfactory?
a.) The Wildcats could have won the National Championship.
b.) The players could have all decided to stay an additional year.
c.) Mike Krzyzewski could have sat on a nail and leaped into the air, banging his head on the underside of an overhanging rock, and then fallen back down on the nail and leaped into the air again, banging his head on the underside of an overhanging rock, in a repeating fashion over and over, yelling each time.
3. How could John Calipari have handled this season differently?
a.) He did everything perfectly and created a strong, supportable team.
b.) He could have pretended that the NBA was awful and no one should go there.
c.) Before the Wisconsin game he could have delivered the exact speech Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, starring as Coach Sean Porter in the 2006 film drama The Gridiron Gang, gave his team about dedication and learning to value themselves and each other.
4. How did you enjoy KSR’s coverage of the 2014-15 season?
a.) I found it to be informative and engaging.
b.) I enjoyed its entertainment factor with my sports news.
c.) I wish it had focused more on statistics.
d.) I don’t know what KSR is because I have an Android phone, but I can only assume it is some sort of liberal Apple-based propaganda run by a bunch of Obama-huggers.
5.) My favorite article of the 2014-15 basketball season was:
a.) That one article about the basketball players being nice.
b.) That BTI piece with all the numbers in it.
c.) The Funkhouser story about Jennifer Lawrence.
d.) The picture of Boone’s Butcher Shop.
6. If I could change one thing about the upcoming season, it would be:
a.) We would retain more of last year’s players.
b.) We would play a lighter pre-conference schedule.
c.) More tickets would be available for games.
d.) Our team would be coached by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson from The Gridiron Gang.
7. My feelings about the new commenting system are:
a.) I like that it requires a log in and registration.
b.) I wish there were more comments so I could gauge other opinions.
c.) I don’t like that, instead of commenting, now I have to just announce loudly that C.M. Tomlin’s pieces are worthless garbage to my workplace peers and administrators.
8. My favorite video on KSR from this season was:
a.) The video of the fan song “Big Blue Fan in the Morning.”
b.) The montage(s) of big plays from the SEC Tournament.
c.) The pre-season footage of the players from Media Day.
d.) The video where the old grandmother at the wedding is dancing and gets off balance and accidentally stumbles falls into the wedding cake.
9. When it comes to recruiting information, I am:
a.) Very interested.
b.) Somewhat interested.
c.) Not at all interested.
d.) Currently parked outside a recruit’s high school looking at his Instagram photos, leaving a message on his Facebook page and trying to secure a picture of his girlfriend.
10. I will probably spend the next two months:
a.) Visiting KSR for recruiting information.
b.) Focusing on golf, hockey, the NBA and major league baseball.
c.) Enjoying my new DVD copy of The Gridiron Gangâ„¢, available from Columbia Pictures Home Entertainment.
Thank you for your input!