Each week KSR’s Funkhouser collects the best of pop culture. The Entertation Index collects the best of the week for your consumption.
Beckinsale, Kate — Actress Kate Beckinsale recently told reporters that while filming the 2001 historical action drama Pearl Harbor she was repeatedly criticized about her appearance by director Michael Bay, who told her she needed to lose weight. In related news, Optimus Prime has filed suit against the inappropriate director for repeatedly attempting to grab his hitch ball.
City, Lost Mayan — A 15 year-old Canadian boy has discovered the long-believed lost Mayan city of Kaak Chi after charting corresponding star maps over satellite images of a Mexican jungle on the app Google Earth. “Well,” said the boy’s mother, “I guess ‘overlaying the Yucatan Peninsula’ wasn’t a euphemism for what he’d been doing up there in his room on the computer all this time after all.”
Fieri, Guy — Sometimes things you find on the internet you didn’t know you ever needed. Like this montage of Guy Fieri eating set to Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt.” So here you go.
Finals, NBA — Just in time for the NBA finals, late last week saw Jimmy Kimmel Live featuring professional basketball players reading mean tweets about themselves. Come for Russell Westbrook struggling to read, stay for a grand finale about Dikembe Mutumbo.
Gronkowski, Rob — For those of you still seeking your summer party song, look no further than this official party anthem about Dunkin’ Donuts from Rob Gronkowski and David Ortiz. You’re welcome, everyone.
Ortiz, David — See: Gronkowski, Rob
Pyramid, The $100,000 — Those of you dying to FINALLY see Jon Lovitz face off against Deion Sanders will be pleased by a new reboot of The $100,000 Pyramid, which will pit stars against one another in an effort to stay relevant/win their civilian partners some cash. The new show will be hosted by Michael Strahan, who has been cursed by a spurned gypsy to die if there is ever again a second of his life during which he is not on TV.
Vancouver — A camera lost during a shipwreck off a Vancouver Island two years ago has been discovered by divers with, surprisingly, its memory card and its images still intact and salvageable. Unfortunately, a recovery of the photographs turned up nothing but a bunch of fish butts.