Each week KSR’s Funkhouser features the best of pop culture. The Entertation Index collects the best of the week for your consumption.
Beyonce — Beyonce, set to headline this year’s Coachella music festival, has dropped herself from the 2017 lineup after the singer, pregnant with twins, received orders from her doctor to start keeping a “less rigorous schedule.” But let’s be honest — there’s a probably a big jump between “keeping a less rigorous schedule” and “being carried around by acrobats who bow in worship to you on stage while you do yoga poses dressed like a sun goddess.” How about we split the difference, Bey? Thx.
Link: Beyonce has Officially Dropped Out of Coachella and Fans Aren’t Happy
Cannon, Nick — The former Mr. Mariah Carey this week posted a photo of his new baby boy with former Miss Arizona Brittany Bell, whom he has chosen to name Golden “Sagon” Cannon. Those wishing to give a gift to the baby are asked to send toys, while those looking to give Nick Cannon a gift can try to find him SOMEONE WHO WILL TELL HIM NO.
Link: Nick Cannon Welcomes Son Golden “Sagon” Cannon
Chrisley, Todd — After it was revealed via social media that Chrisley Knows Best daughter Savannah has begun to date Memphis Grizzlies forward Chandler Parsons, weird dad Todd went on Access Hollywood to tell the world that we all know NBA players are “ho hounds” and went on to school us on how professional basketball players have two phones — “one for the main chick, one for the side chick.” Todd Chrisley may have said some more after this stuff but my television literally chose that moment to grow sentient and light itself on fire, so I don’t know.
Link: Todd Chrisley Admits Concern over Savannah’s NBA Boyfriend
Oscars — The New York Times has announced its predictions for this Sunday’s Academy Awards and has the musical-throwback La La Land slated for not only Best Picture, but Best Director and Best Actress (Emma Stone) — not to mention an almost certain statuette for Best Song. You can watch La La Land before Sunday, or I can just summarize it for you here: Acting is hard! Music is Hard! Los Angeles is SO Amazing! But also hard! Believe in your dreams! It’s a virtual lock that anyone in the entertainment industry wasn’t losing their sh*t over the self-congratulatory exercise, so get used to hearing about it Sunday.
Link: And the Oscar Winners Will Be…
Springsteen, Bruce — A 14 year-old Australian boy skipped school to see a Brisbane Bruce Springsteen concert only to find himself on-stage jamming with The Boss himself, further proving the old adage “Don’t go to school.” I envy this kid; when I skipped school at 14 I slept late, walked two miles to watch Terminator 2 twice in a row and went boob-spotting on a VHS copy of European Vacation. Advantage: this Australian kid.
Link: Kid Skips School to See Bruce Springsteen, Ends Up Performing With Him
Trebek, Alex — If you’ve been on the internet this week, and if you’re seeing this you have, so stop lying, you’ve seen peeks of Jeopardy host Alex Trebek reading rap lyrics. Someone graciously put all those together in a compilation, so enjoy this from Trebek — or, as he was known in the day, Big ‘Stache Hustla.
Link: Alex Trebek Reads Rap Lyrics
Tri-State, Good Morning — I tweeted about this yesterday, but if you somehow missed the beautiful-but-failed pilot Good Morning Tri-State from director Jason Woliner and actor Mark Proksch, block off nineteen minutes today to remedy that. The premise, a staged morning news program which features escalating mania from its bizarre anchor, features co-hosts and guests who aren’t in on the joke and an unnatural attachment to the 2001 Hugh Jackman movie Swordfish. Take my word for it.
Link: Check out Mark Proksch and Jason Woliner’s Unaired 2013 Pilot “Good Morning Tri-State