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The Comeback Kid – Five Quotable John Mulaney Bits


(Contains NSFW Language Featured in Comedy Bits)

I have made it known at Funkhouser before that I am a big John Mulaney fan.  I wanted his FOX sitcom to succeed, but after having seen a couple (one) episodes, I knew it just wasn’t going to work out.  Recently, I started catching up on another comedian’s sitcom, “The Carmichael Show,” (which is strong) and it made me wonder what John Mulaney was up to.  It was announced a few weeks ago that Mulaney and Nick Kroll would be doing a live three week show of their characters “Gil Faizon and George St Geegland” from the Kroll Show.  But, where is my John Mulaney stand-up?

This Friday, Mulaney’s new stand-up show, “The Comeback Kid” will debut on Netflix.  The former SNL writer’s comedy albums have been on a pretty steady three-year rotation, with “The Top Part” debuting in 2009, and “New In Town” releasing in 2012.  With “The Comeback Kid” just a few days away, let’s take a look at some of the more memorable/quotable John Mulaney bits.  (Linked titles go to YouTube videos of the bits)

The One Thing You Can’t Replace

Mulaney’s second album, “New in Town” possibly has the most plays in my iTunes of any comedy album, maybe second to Christopher Titus’ “Norman Rockwell is Bleeding”.  But of the bits on that album, “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is definitely the most listened to track.  There’s just something about the story, where you just hope every bit of it is true, because the imagery alone is hilarious.  There are so many times where I’ve wanted to exit a situation by just throwing a glass on the ground and yell, “SCATTER!”

The Xanax Story

Hands down, Nurse Batman gets quoted at least once a week from Mulaney’s “The Xanax Story”.  Most of the times it’s in a sarcastic maner, but once you hear Nurse Batman say, “I’m too blessed to be stressed,” it just sticks in your head, and you end up using it in everyday conversation.  Plus, like any John Mulaney album ender,

Special Victims and Ice-T

Who hasn’t spent an entire Tuesday sick at home watching nothing but a USA marathon on Law and Order: SVU?  Mulaney has made it very apparent in both of his albums that he is a huge fan of SVU.  In this bit, he specifically takes on how Ice-T has spent a decade in the Sexual Crimes unit, but is still surprised by different situations that come up.  Anytime someone understands something that isn’t that hard to understand, I always want to respond with “Yeah Ice, you got it…”

New In Town

I cannot tell you the number of times my wife has said the words “I’m gonna push him”, in reference to this bit.  The initial setup to the joke isn’t as funny as the idea of the homeless guy practicing his pitch in the mirror of how he’d approach Mulaney.

The Salt and Pepper Diner

This Bit.  The closer on his debut album, The Salt and Pepper Diner is one of the few bits to reduce me to tears.  Just put yourself in the scene as someone sitting in the Salt and Pepper Diner as this situation is going on, and it will either drive you mad or it will become the funniest thing in the world.  You’ll never listen to Tom Jones the same way again.  There are some days when I’m in a restaurant with a jukebox, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to do this exact bit.


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Article written by Richmond Bramblet