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Tasty Food Videos, Will You Be My Valentine?

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I already have a human Valentine. He’s a keeper.  But, this year I want to profess my love for something a little different.  This year, my Valentine will be the mesmerizing videos that loop on Facebook.  I love the Tasty videos that feature melting cheese, perfectly sprinkled parsley and copious amounts of butter.   I planned on listing more ingredients found on the videos, but I spent all that time actually watching the videos.  So, without further ado, how do I love thee, Tasty Food Videos?  Let me count the ways!

  • I love how you are like watching the Food Network, but without the commercials and useless commentary.
  • I love how your nails are clean, but not intimidatingly well manicured
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  • I love how you have all the right kitchen utensils at your disposal and I have that tool, but can’t seem to find them.
  • I love how you give me the feeling of having made a meal but without all the calories and cleanup.
  • I love how you don’t judge me when I say, “I’ll watch one more.” *watches 10 more*
  • I love how you make hallowing out a pineapple look effortless, but in real life, it would require 12 stitches. 
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  • I love how you think the above brownie’s filling looks appealing.
  • I love how during the New Year’s resolution season, you pretended to care about caloric intake.
  • I love how now, you don’t seem to be too concerned about caloric intake.
  • I love how you understand my love for the versatile store-bought pizza dough
  • or store-bought puff pastries
  • or store-bought crescent dough
  • I love how you slow motion stir anything!
  • I love how you speed up all of the boring parts of cooking with a snap.
  • I love how you use cheesy garage band/ public domain music.
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  • I love how you try to get really fancy with pepperonis.
  • I love that I watch you turn pepperonis into roses, even though I know I will never, ever try to make those.
  • I love that you have a British cousin, named “Proper Tasty,” that makes things that I don’t understand.
  • Like turkey twizzlers.
  • And cheese and bean stuffed mashed potatoes.
  • I love how there is nothing you could cook, that I wouldn’t be mesmerized by.

The “oh yeah” at the end of your videos, I don’t love that.  I could do without that.

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.