Amazon’s algorithm creepily predicts exactly what you will buy based off of what you have already purchased. Some magic wizard that lives up in the cloud knows what you like more than you do. But, what are some recommendations based off of things you don’t like? 2016 has been lousy with failed movies, overhyped reboots and general crappy nonsense. How can we learn from things that we didn’t like to help us pick out our new favorite piece of pop culture? Here are a few suggestions based off of some of 2016’s least favorite things.
Hated Any Given Wednesday? Try The Bill Simmons Podcast
Any Given Wednesday is a wonderful show, in theory. Sitting Bill Simmons and his ultra-blue eyes in front of a camera to comment on the state of sports in America sounds like a hit, but there is a severe disconnect. It is a swing and miss. Something about Simmons’ old references to Paris Hilton, unnecessary footage of his son’s wrestling moves and the inexplicable stack of coffee table books makes Any Given Wednesday feel like it can be any given show. Therefore, why even spend your quality couch time watching it?
If you keep Bill Simmons on your podcast rotation, then you can prepare dinner, walk the dog or purchase the groceries, all while hearing Simmons’ perspective.
You also don’t have to deal with the discomforting feeling of watching Ben Affleck go off the deep-end about Tom Brady and his deflated balls.
Hated Me Before You? Try The Fundamentals of Caring
Me Before You might not be considered a box-office failure, but the topic of the movie is infuriating. In the movie, Lou Clark (played by Emilia Clark of Game of Thrones Fame) falls in love with Will Traynor. The twist is that Traynor has been recently paralyzed and harbors a lot of resentment. Clark attempts to get him to see the brighter side of life as she tries to convince him not to kill himself. Spoiler Alert: He kills himself and I’m not entirely sure what this movie is trying to tell us about a man who has plenty of capabilities.
The Fundamentals of Caring is the exact opposite. Paul Rudd plays a caregiver who tries to help his patient enjoy every possible moment. It is the perfect antidote for the depressing pile of emotional pornography that is Me Before You.
Hated Zoolander 2? Try RuPaul’s Drag Race
Zoolander 2 is described as “joyless” and “offensively stupid.” I honestly don’t know anyone who saw it, so I will have to take The Atlantic’s word for it. If you are looking for a show that will serve you the fiercest Blue Steele and the most quoteable one liners, then you should just spend your time with RuPaul’s Drag Race (Ex. “Impersonating BeyoncÃ© is not your destiny, child.”) There is nothing joyless about RuPaul and the segments might be stupid, but at least they aren’t offensive.
Hated Ghostbusters? Try Stranger Things
*(That is if you haven’t already)
There was a lot of noise leading up to the release of the newest addition to the Ghostbusters franchise. All of the uproar seemed to lead to a general consensus, the movie would have been much better if it had just been a movie about women who tried to rid the world of the paranormal, instead of a reboot of a classic. If the newest Ghostbusters gets you incensed, then a better alternative would be Stranger Things. This is not a new revelation. Stranger Things might be the most recommended thing in 2016, second only to bug spray in Rio. Stranger Things has everything that Ghostbusters lacked. There is an interesting plot. There are references to the 80s that are real and relevant. There is an ensemble cast that is excited and buzz worthy. Stranger Things is everything that Ghostbusters promised to be.
If you don’t like Stranger Things, then I honestly don’t have any suggestions for you.