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Photobombing: The University of Florida

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Welcome to the University of Florida! We look forward to welcoming you with open arms as you embark on a journey of education that will form and shape the rest of your life. From the day you step foot on campus your world will open wide. Take a look around the University of Florida!

 

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Did someone say “safety?” With Officer Brian Melton on the case (and his trusty canine companion Dodger!) your residence halls are always a safe place to be. Here are some students posing with Officer Melton and Dodger during a night on the job. Plus, Stormtrooper guy used this picture to prove to his parents that he has friends at college, even though he doesn’t know any of these people!

 

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It’s a proven fact that 45% of Americans today can’t put on pants correctly. With UF’s revolutionary Pants Major, you’ll arm yourself with the tools — and the knowledge — to be part of the solution to this national problem. Be the change you seek at UF!

 

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Don’t sit next to Gary in English. He’s just going to hit on you. He’s a total idiot. He smells like Axe Body Spray. He thinks Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle is just a scathing expose of the meatpacking industry. He doesn’t even realize it’s a veiled attempt to convert the American worker to Socialism. Gary’s so dumb.

 

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The University of Florida pharmacy department tirelessly works to perfect a master race. Good luck guys!

 

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Get to know your new roommate, based on the survey you filled out and mailed back over the summer. Fair warning, though: if any of you checked yes on “Do you like to cuddle?” you’ll probably be paired up with Brad because he’s the only other person who checked yes.

 

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The good times never stop in the University of Florida’s state-of-the-art dorms. Spacious closets, plush carpet, plenty of room and a strong wi-fi signal that’s just perfect for catfishing that slut Brenda with a fake boyfriend. That’ll teach her to ask Ben to the Snowball Formal. We’re totally going to ruin her life. She’s going to have to move.

 

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Hey, everybody! Here comes the University of Florida’s Inter-Residential Hall Association executive members! They’ve been hiding in this dark room all day and now they’re ready for some hijinks! Watch out or YOU’LL be the next one wearing “bunny ears!”

 

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Co-ed dorm living reflects the times and empowers students to a higher level of social discourse where gender barriers cannot interfere. Ladies, just focus on Keith though. Ignore Nathan. Nathan’s the worst. No, Nathan, no one wants to hear about when you went to Universal Studios. We’ve all heard that story a million times. We know you love it. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD NATHAN IF YOU LOVE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO WORK THERE.

 

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Florida football fans are always looking to — seriously, guys, the gator chomp looks VERY awkward in still photographs. You guys need to chill with that. I don’t think you guys understand how that looks.

 

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Each year the department of Fish & Wildlife brings a presentation to the Board of Trustees urging them not to allow Albert the Alligator to run unchecked around campus and each year they ignore this warning. Last year 43 students and two maintenance workers mysteriously disappeared, and no one’s doing anything about it.

 

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Cheer on the University of Florida baseball team! They haven’t won a baseball game in eight seasons but they are all excellent singers and dancers.

 

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Ugh, it’s these guys again. The Inter-Residential Hall Association. They’re the WORST. They all think they’re soooooo funny and cute. Who voted for these people? Because they’re all awful. Especially plaid shirt, am I right? What’s so funny, anyway? Did someone leave the microwave in the common area running? Was there a stray flip flop in the shower? I mean, where’s the other one, right? Hahahahaha!

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Enjoy your time at the University of Florida and when you graduate as a Gator you’ll be prepared for JEEZ YOU GUYS STOP WITH THE GATOR CHOMP THING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE?

Can’t wait to meet you in 2017!

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

6 Comments for Photobombing: The University of Florida



  1. Blue In Miami
    1:35 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

    There’s a lot of Florida bashing going on here at KSR today. While i realize most of it is just college spirit silliness, i’d like to remind everyone that this looks foolish to be making fun of a top 50 national university (UF = usnews #47) when our own school isnt even close to being top 100 (UK = 129th ranked national univ.) i wont even go into SAT scores of incoming freshman. UK basically lets in any kid with a pulse.



    • WatchutalkinboutWillis
      1:37 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

      Roy of Sigfried and Roy. He was attacked by his pet tiger and suffered devastating injuries.



    • WatchutalkinboutWillis
      1:39 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

      They never did catch that Anthrax guy.



    • WatchutalkinboutWillis
      1:39 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

      (Feline AIDS) It’s still the number one cause of death among domestic cats.



    • Blue In Miami
      1:53 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

      good call, watchu…. UK should put mildy funny, random trivial drivel on their brochures to distract from the abysmal level of education they provide.

      the sigried and roy ploy!



  2. WatchutalkinboutWillis
    1:36 pm September 9, 2016 Permalink

    I would be interested to know if there really are any college students named Brenda…anywhere.
    Brad likes cuddling so much that he has a picture of it on his wall!
    I love Tomlin posts!