This week, like most weeks, will see a bunch of different albums drop. Now, there’s nothing as exciting this week as Dr. Dre’s third album, new Lana Del Ray, or Joanna Newsom both of who have albums coming later this year (they did release some great singles last week though). No, this week is more of the I Had No Idea They Were Still Making Music variety, with one possible hit. Call it the “3 Men and a Little Lady” Power Rankings. Here are the four new releases to look out for:
The Little Lady: Carly Rae Jepsen – E-MO-TION
The one possible hit (billboard wise) this week is the third studio album from the ‘Call Me, Maybe’ star. Jepsen has already released two singles, “I Really Like You” and “Run Away With Me”, and the third is “Your Type” (video above). With the kind of pop sensibility, vocal talent, and upbeat music that most modern hits seem to have, this is probably the safest bet this week.
The Ted Danson: Bon Jovi – Burning Bridges
Bon Jovi and Ted Danson… uhhhhh, both have great hair? Where this metaphor may run thin, there is no thinness to the apparent love for Bon Jovi. Somehow, we as a consuming public have allowed 13 full length studio albums to be released with songs like the one above. They might not run, but that means that you’ll probably be able to create quite the distance between you and this song if you do.
The Steve Guttenberg: P.O.D. – The Awakening
Much like how you remember Steve Guttenberg was actually a big thing whenever you see Police Academy or Short Circuit on TBS, every once and a while you’ll hear “Youth of the Nation” and go, “Oh yeah, there was this band called P.O.D. that was around for a hot second. They’re still recording? Someone buys their records? Interesting,” you’ll say. Longevity does not make quality, I’m afraid. Just because there is a new P.O.D. album doesn’t mean you should listen. You’re probably much safer with Guttenberg’s new SyFy movie, Lavalantula.
The Tom Selleck: Disturbed – Immortalized
The dad that still rocks the mustache, way, way after it stopped being a thing. “You never know,” he says, “it’ll come back any day now. You’ll see!” Disturbed continues pumping out that half-melodic Nu-Metal like it was still 2003. If it’s not already, this will soon actually be an old enough genre to be “dad rock.” One interesting addition here that might be worth a listen; in a reverse Richard Cheese, Disturbed is covering “The Sound of Silence” on this one.