Whether you like it or not, each day on the calendar is designated to celebrate someone, something or some idea. Today, just happens to be National Pina Colada Day and National Clerihew Poem Day. A Clerihew poem is biographical poem with a specific structure. (I hope this helps you in trivia someday.)
You can blame the Internet if you want to, but there is an insurgence of “national” days. Recently we had National Donut Day, Dog Day, and Best Friend Day, to name a few. I argue that every day should be celebrated with donuts, dogs and friends. Do we really need an official mandate to remember the joys of fried food and four or two-legged friends?
I suppose so.
The difficulty with all of these competing days is picking which holiday to celebrate. On July seventh, would you rather eat fried chicken or take your daughter on a walk? Some of these days create moral conundrums. Here’s some upcoming competing holidays, to help you prepare.
July 12th —
This Sunday, you have many options. One option is National Simplicity Day. You could spend the day living the simple life. Since July 12th is Henry David Thoreau’s birthday, the suggestion is to honor the writer by decluttering your home and reflecting on life.
If seeking simplicity does not interest you, the day can be spent celebrating people with two different eye colors. Sunday is the day to celebrate celebrities like Kate Bosworth, Mila Kunis, Dan Akroyd, Christopher Walken and David Bowie.
July 12th sounds like a party. But, wait, there’s more!
This day is also set aside to proclaim your love for the paper bag and Jello.
Tuesday’s holiday gets weird, quick.
July 14th is the day to celebrate Grand Marnier. It is also National Nude Day and National Tape Measure Day.
The day is dedicated to drinking the “cognac concoction” getting naked and measuring things.
Please do not celebrate all three of these days at the same time.
Encouraging giving and pet safety seems practical, even important. Celebrating your horse seems appropriate, given that there is a national dog day (August 26) and national cat day (October 29.) National Tapioca Pudding Day looks like it would be about as much fun to celebrate, as it would be to eat the pudding. 0% fun.
As you can see, it doesn’t take much to qualify for a “national day.” They are not all hot, sexy topics. For me, writing about tapioca pudding and paper bags was as difficult as when Uncle Jesse and Joey, from Full House, had to write the Kitty Krispies Jingle. It is not something that writes itself.
But, here’s where the tapioca and paper bags come in handy. They are inconsequential things. Anything can be a national holiday and it is extremely easy to register a day. All you need is a date and a thing to celebrate and you have a national day. They even give you a framed proclamation for the entire world to see.
What would you choose to celebrate, if you could create a national holiday!?
National Great American Day?
National People Should Wear Deoderent to the Gym Day?
National Megans Eat Free Day?