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Just Passing Time Until Stephen Colbert Comes Back To Us

Colbert

I’d like to take this time to point out that Stephen Colbert is FIFTY-ONE years old. Who knew?

Many of you have heard of the game where you are given three people and you have to decide if you would kill, marry or fornicate with one of those people. You are not legally bound to that decision, but I suppose whatever you decide says a little something about you.

Let’s practice:

Tom Selleck, Charles Barkley and Donald Trump.

I know everyone’s kill. That’s mean, guys. I do, however, think that the bases of this game is a little crass and since we are all respectable people, let’s alter the rules so that my momma will be proud. This week Stephen Colbert released his first week’s schedule for his new Late Show. Here is the schedule of the first guests for the Late Show:

Tuesday, Sep. 8: George Clooney and Jeb Bush

Wednesday, Sep. 9:Scarlett Johansson, SpaceX, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk and Kendrick Lamar.

Thursday, Sep. 10: Uber CEO Travis Kalanick with musical guest Toby Keith.

Friday, Sep. 11: Amy Schumer, Stephen King and Troubled Waters (an unknown group that has me intrigued.)

With the aforementioned childish game in mind, I think we should use the pool of guests to answers some questions of our own. We are not legally bound to the decision, but I suppose whatever we decide says a little something about us.

 Which guest would make the best president?

Which guest would be the best to go on a road trip with?

Which guest would you like as a tennis partner?

Which guest, not named Stephen King, would you like to write your eulogy?

Which guest would you marry?

Which guest would you…you know…?

It is quite possible that you picked George Clooney for all of the questions. It is also possible, that you found this thought experiment to be pointless. I am totally cool with that. However, sometime in the near future, you will be waiting in a long, long line and your cellphone will be left in the car. Your mind will wander and you will ponder what it would be like to play tennis with Toby Keith. Would he wear flannel to volley a tennis ball over the net? Does he make the unnecessary grunting noise when he hits the ball? Who knows?

But, it is a lovely way to pass the time and hopefully by then, Stephen Colbert will be back on TV.

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.