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June’s Over. I’m Not July-ing – 31 Days Of Entertainment

July 2016

Bold Prediction: July is going to be an odd month for entertainment. The calendar above looks like an advent calendar for the absurd.  There’s a children’s book with a Donald Trump slant, a Harry Potter theatrical production, National tequila day is on the Sabbath and Who’s Line is it Anyway? is back on television. Buckle up people, July is going to be an odd month. I wouldn’t July about that.

July 1: Season 3 of The Great British Baking Show is set to air on PBS.  I have never heard a bad word about the show, which leads me to believe that I only talk to pleasant people or it’s just that good.

July 2: This is the last day for Nashville’s Game of Thrones Convention. Bonus points if you wear this to the convention.

July 3: Last Day for the Olympic Trials for the American swim team.  I’m already getting a little tired of the Olympic storylines.

July 4: Grab your wieners and buns! It’s the 4th of July!

July 5: Michael Ian Black releases his book titled, A Child’s First Book of Trump. A story book that helps answer the question, “What’s a Trump?”

July 6: Here’s hoping KFC has found another celebrity colonel for National Fried Chicken Day!

July 7:  The Backstreet Boys and Meghan Trainor are set to perform “I want it that way” on Arsenio Hall’s show, Greatest Hits. 

July 8: The Secret Life of Pets is released in theaters. Finally, we won’t have to watch this preview in the movie theaters. Just kidding, I love those previews! Wiener dogs aren’t supposed to use a mixer as a backscratcher!

July 9: Last day of Lebowski fest in Louisville. Matthew Mahone wrote about it here. It’s pretty good, but that’s just my opinion, man.

July 10: HBO series premier of The Night Before.   I’m trying to not get my hopes up too high.  I don’t want to have another True Detective Season 2 situation on my hands.

July 11: Who’s Line is it Anyway?  will be on the CW.  I hope I still enjoy the hoedown as much as I used to

July 12: For a mere $2,700.00 you can get a Hamilton/Hilary Clinton fundraising ticket. This might be the one shot that I throw away.

July 13: Season 2 of Mr. Robot premiers, giving us all a little time to get caught up on this show and remember the technological lingo.

July 14: Official opening of the Sturgis, KY bike rally.  Prepare accordingly.

July 15: Ghostbusters: People’s Undying Need to Whine premiers.  Bold Prediction: People might actually like it.

July 16: Day 2 of Louisville’s Forecastle Festival. Obvious Prediction: Brittany Howard, the lead singer of Alabama Shakes, kills it.

July 17: Vice Principals’ first episode. How many episodes will it take for a Will Ferrell cameo?

July 18: The Republican National Convention begins.  Most leaders hope that Cleveland didn’t use up all their good luck on the Cavaliers.

July 19: WWE’s Draft Night.  IMPORTANT QUESTION: Do they wear formal speedos to keep it classy like the NBA draft?

July 20: Take your poet to work day. You can print off Coloring pages here to bring your printable poet to work.  You can also find resume tips here to help you find a new job, in case your co-workers are easily weirded out.

July 21: San Diego Comic Con begins.  Usually there are few good stories to come out of this convention.

July 22: Netflix releases Season 4 of BoJack Horseman. I sure do miss that pitiful horse.

July 23: Kentucky Shakespeare will put on their Bard-a-thon. 3 plays, 23 actors, 85 characters. 2,000 clicks on sparknotes

July 24: It’s National Tequila Day! And it’s a Sunday! You might want to celebrate National Tequila Day Eve.

July 25: The Democratic National Convention begins in Philly.  Which will be more prevalent? Celebrity Endorsements or Liberty Bell imagery?

July 26: Married at First Sight comes back to A&E.  To which all of America asks, “Why would anyone do that?” and yet continues to watch.

July 27: Coldplay comes to the YUM! center.  To which all of America asks, “Why would anyone go to that?” and yet they still sell out venues.

July 28: The Sandy Lee Songwriters Fest begins in Henderson, KY. I imagine it’s just a lot of Hugh Grants and Drew Berrymores from Music & Lyrics. 

July 29: As the Jason Bourne movie poster says, “It all ends tonight.” Whatever that means.

July 30: The script for the Harry Potter play will be released at midnight. Muggles Rejoice!

July 31: Sharknado 4 premiers. Are you more excited about a David Hasselhoff cameo or an appearance by Todd Chrisley?

Neither is an acceptable answer.

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.