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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Flener’s Bachelor Running Diary: Episode 1 “Over Served”

the bachelor

When it comes to The Bachelor I’m here for three things. The cat fighting, the tears, and the delusion. While you can argue that those three things are one in the same, you probably shouldn’t. If you are here for an in depth review of what girl he should pick, go somewhere else. You won’t enjoy this. I have no interest in the final outcome of the show. The future happiness or despair of the contestants on this show is of no concern to me. He will pick someone, they will be apart “trying to make it work” while the show airs. They will appear happy at the reunion show, then you’ll see something like this or this a week or a month later. The format of this column, as always, will be a running diary of my thoughts throughout the show. There a lot of places to go for Bachelor commentary so let me thank you for choosing a sports website. Let’s get involved, what do you say?

 

If you missed the preview posted last night you can go back and check that out here.

 

EPISODE ONE

8:05- They are interviewing past contestants. I wish someone would reach into my eyes and pull my eyeballs out and then throw them into a step show scene from Stomp the Yard.

8:10- The Bachelor. Breaking hearts and breaking twitter. Like for real. Twitter doesn’t work.

8:15- They trot Sean & Catherine out like show ponies as if to say “Hey everyone look our show works!” while behind them all the girls and guys who it didn’t work for mingle with one another and hit on random people on the crowd.

8:18- A girl that got engaged on Bachelor in Paradise just told Chris Harrison they were 80/40 decided on a date. I’m just gonna leave that one right there for you. You keep that one. It’s on the house. In fact, Drew loves you so much he’s got it right here for you.

8:26- They asked Amanda why she was single. She replied “Can I say it’s because I’m f****** crazy?” Yes, you can. Because you are trying to find love on national television. And because you live with your mom. And because it’s true.

8:28- WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!

8:29- Mackenzie, who made me go in on 21 year olds in the preview last night, is a 21 year old mom. I guess the immature 21 year old stuff doesn’t really apply to her. But I don’t take it back.

8:30- Kelsey, of date diarrhea fear fame, reveals she is a widow. Really didn’t wait all that long to pile on the heavy stuff, huh ABC?

8:36- Andi just rubbed Josh’s back for three straight minutes while they were being interviewed. Like a genie was going to pop out.

8:49- Nikki was interviewed for far too long by Chris Harrison. This is what I came away from it with. Nikki and Juan Pablo have different lifestyles and are different people. I don’t know how many different ways it can be said, but they’ve done about 10 so far.

8:55- The first hour was so unnecessary. Nobody cares about you interviewing washed up reality show stars except washed up reality show stars.

9:00- The main show begins with the obligatory bachelor showering outside scene.

9:03- Amanda called Chris’ smile a panty dropper.(Also see 8:26 above.) So yeah, I’m hoping Amanda stays around for a few weeks.

9:07- Britt just gave the longest hug that didn’t turn into more in the history of this show. (Editor’s note: It turned into more.)

9:08- WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!

9:09- Megan from Nashville what’s up? Like, for real. What are you up to now that the show is over? It’s okay. Just me and you talking here. Check out my mix tape on MySpace.

9:11- Can we all just agree right now that props are bad? Can we? Props are always bad. Reegan creeped America out with her heart trick and made Drew stop watching. “This show physically pains me. That’s it. The heart did it for me. I’m done.”

9:12- The sports fishing enthusiast Tara rolled up in daisy dukes and asked for a Jameson on the rocks. Then she changed her mind (not about the drink), put on a dress that revealed a back tattoo, and introduced herself again. And what a STRONG PLAY by Chris to recognize her. I would’ve been all like “Oh hello so nice to meet you, person I’ve never met before.”

9:21- Ashley S. told Chris she found a lucky penny in the airport and she wants to put it in his shoe. (Editor’s note: This doesn’t even come close to the craziest thing she will do.)

9:24- Kaitlyn put together the most amazing 3 consecutive minutes I’ve ever seen on this show. When she walked up she told Chris “you can plow my *expletive* field any day.” By itself it would have been legendary. But then she followed it up with this joke when everyone was together; “Why did the Walrus go to the tupperware party? Cause he wanted to find a tight seal.” PLEASE LET HER GET A ROSE.

9:30- People are tweeting about the lack of Chris’ top lip and now I can’t think about anything else or look at anything else.

chris no lip

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9:38- Production meeting: “Let’s fly in 6 women from Chris’ hometown in Iowa and have them all stand up during the live show. Then, lets only interview two of them while the rest of them stand there smiling. IT’LL BE GREAT TV.” The truth is, production was right. I couldn’t stop laughing.

9:43- WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!

9:45- So, 15 girls got there a few hours before the second 15 girls. And these girls that have been there since the start are getting a little tipsy. I can’t wait until that starts working against them. Because it will. (Editor’s Note: It will.)

9:53- The girls that have been there for a while and are tipsy are now spying on the later arriving girls as they get out of the limo. The spying is not a good look, in my opinion. But that’s just because it gets them further away from the bar.

9:55- The cruise ship singer was simply dreadful. Just the worst. I would have just told her to get back in the limo. It looked like she stole that karaoke machine from a daycare.

9:57- “Make the girls stop coming!” That’s a real and true thing a girl just said on television.

10:01- Shoutout to Krista Grey from Brownsville representing the blue and white, but that’s about it. She told Chris that they would make beautiful babies. Not exactly the first thing a guy wants to hear you say. I’m sure if she had it to do over again she might go with something less creepy, like…

ill find you

 

 

 

 

 

 

10:07- This show is moving really fast. Like, faster than Clare and Juan Pablo.

10:13- I told you the booze was going to start working against them. The first victim is the blonde girl in the silver dress, Ashley S. She talked about onions and walking through sunflower fields and then she pulled a pomegranate off a tree and all she said was “wow.” And at that point all I could say was “wow.” It was like Wow Fest 2015 for a few minutes. Ashley S., Kevin Durant has something he’d like to say to you…

real mvp

 

 

 

 

 

 

10:15- “If you and I were at a bar and we were going to sing a karaoke duet what would we sing?” Very legit question. Thanks for asking. My answer is A Whole New World from Aladdin, or Put It On Me by Ja Rule, Lil Mo & Vita. I know there is a big difference there. We’d just have to feel out the crowd.

10:16- Tara, the sports fishing enthusiast, is an American hero. She’s been drinking Jack on the rocks all night and just belched loudly. Turkey Hunter gave Tara a rose.

10:19- Chris and Britt kissed in the club when he gave her the first impression rose. I gotta take the next week off work and dedicate my life to stockpiling roses.

10:22- This moment is too big for the Iowa women Chris Harrison keeps interviewing. They’re like Chris Jones against Kentucky.

10:30- Kaitlyn gets the first rose. A great start for #TeamCrazy.

10:32- Jade gets the second rose. I think she’s the one who asked about karaoke, so she’s obviously cool.

10:33- “As he is handing out the roses, I think a lot of the girls are going through a lot of internal emotions.” Yeah, mainly Tara, who is battling extreme intoxication.

drunk tara

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10:34- Samantha gets a rose. Big fan of her brand. Just like what she’s putting out there.

10:35- Ashley I. the freelance journalist gets a rose. If you didn’t read the preview it’s worth it just to see how Tomlin predicts her freelance career started and will proceed.

10:35- Something called a Kendra just got a rose and I don’t know one thing about her. I don’t think she spoke on this episode other than saying thank you for the rose. Kentucky Kera is none too pleased…

ky kara

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10:36- Nikki gets a rose. Diarrhea Kelsey gets a rose. Megan from Nashville gets a rose. Tara the sports fishing enthusiast drunkenly mumbles “I’m delirious.” She’s got that wobble going. That stare. You know the one. Where a person is looking near you but not really at you. Yeah, that’s the one. She’s a bigger underdog than Lehigh and Mercer against Duke right now, but we really need her to survive and advance. She’s the girl you see guys huddled around at the party. The guys who are trying to act all like “Yeah I’m just gonna make sure she gets home safe and stuff. Not trying any funny business. Move along. Nothing to see here.”

10:37- Amber, the bartender from Chicago, gets a rose. Tara, American Hero, how do you feel about it?

tara mad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hang in there Tara. You’re showing a lot of heart.

10:37- Juelia gets a rose. Becca gets a rose. And it’s this point that I think America falls in love with Tara. Just watch this.

That moment when America fell in love with Tara. #TheBachelor #IAlmostFell

A video posted by Aaron Flener (@aflener) on Jan 1, 2015 at 9:52pm PST

 

10:40- Chris leaves the rose ceremony because he doesn’t know what to do about Tara. He wants to pick her but also realizes she got over served by herself tonight. Let’s hope he does the right thing.

10:41- Mackenzie gets a rose. Tracy gets a rose. AND THEN TARA gets a rose. LETTTTTTSSS GOOOOOOOO TARA GET IN HERE!! This is the equivalent of a 16 over a 1.

10:42- Jordan gets a rose. Jillian gets a rose. Whitney gets a rose. WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!

10:43- Carly gets the 2nd to last rose and avoids heading back to the cruise ship microphone for now.

10:44- Ashley S., who picked a pomegranate that she though was an onion, gets a rose. This was a huge coup for #TeamCrazy.

10:45- The walk of shame is happening now for those who didn’t get a rose. And I just want to point out one thing. It is light outside. Did this go all night? No wonder these girls are so drunk, tired, and delirious.

10:46- Speaking of drunk, tired, and delirious… Kimberly just walked back in the house after she didn’t get a rose. How is this even allowed? Are there no rules? Is nothing sacred? My only guess is the producers thought she might slap him. She didn’t. And now we have to wait until next week to find out what happens. I think they call that a cliffhanger in the biz. I call it “who cares just give Tara some more whiskey and ice.”

 

Until next week… I’m Flener, and this was my Bachelor Running Diary for Episode 1.

 

@AFlenerKSR

Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

37 Comments for Flener’s Bachelor Running Diary: Episode 1 “Over Served”



  1. UKAJB
    9:15 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Aaron, love ya man, but this really has to go. WHY is this on KSR? I didn’t read it all. I had to stop.



  2. Kyreds
    9:20 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STICK TO SPORTS THIS IS SO STUPID ITS KENTUCKY SPORTS RADIO NOT A DATING SERVICE!!! SPORTS



  3. Aaron Flener
    9:20 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    It’s hard to find someone to love you, UKAJB. Just ask these girls I write about every week. So, thank you for loving me.



  4. catfanmike
    9:21 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Really???!!! Talk about being force-fed. Do even 2% of the readers care about this…and its the longest diatribe in the history of KSR



  5. ShepherdsvilleKAT
    9:31 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    It must be directed from Matt that you write about this, right Aaron? Never read it, never will, and it drives me away from other things that you write.



  6. WinkyBoyBlue
    9:39 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I’m still trying to figure out how the show takes up TV time, let alone having to scroll through it on a SPORTS WEBSITE



  7. CWildcat
    9:42 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Lord knows I love these posts. I read every word of them and the icing on the cake is all the comments on it. Ridiculousness at it’s finest.



  8. K-fed-up
    9:43 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Oh I get it Matt likes this show so now you do. Pathetic.



  9. Katya
    9:44 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Still unsure on what this has to do with Kentucky sports.



  10. Walter White
    9:48 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    The comments on this are better then the article, nice job Aaron



  11. J-Dub421
    9:54 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Aaron, I don’t even watch The Bachelor, but I read your posts about it and laugh my head off.



  12. dukesuxone
    9:55 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE, stick to sports not match maker .com. I don’t watch this crap on TV & I don’t care to see a minute by minute replay that I have to scroll past when looking for UK sports updates.



  13. blubo
    9:55 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    g – a – y. useful useful useful. gay



    • Yoda
      10:19 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

      Are you still in 6th grade? Saying something is “gay” is pretty played out now. Find a less hateful way to voice your small mind.



  14. dukesuxone
    9:57 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Aaron, Donald “The comb over ” Trump called, YOUR FIRED!!!!



    • Kristen Geil
      10:08 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

      *you’re* fired, Aaron.



    • Nashtucky
      10:11 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

      Kristen, I’ve seen Aaron’s Fired and it’s breathtaking.



  15. pspare
    10:01 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I put this show on the same level as those “Housewives” shows. Knives in my ears/eyes. Please no more Bachelor recaps. Maybe on Perez Hilton, but not KSR.



  16. CatsfaninFL
    10:02 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I love the people that comment on this every year. Listen, KSR is going to keep doing it. It is one of their guilty pleasures, the post is usually pretty funny, AND most importantly you don’t actually have to read every word on KSR if you don’t like it. You know what, I’m not the biggest fan of the funkhouser section. I read some, but not all.

    If you don’t like something, just ignore it and move on.



  17. Kristen Geil
    10:02 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Hi Aaron,
    I really like what you’re doing here. You’re going out on a limb and putting yourself out there with this form of creative writing, sort of like the 30 girls are doing by going on a reality show in hopes of finding true love. As Taylor Swift says, the haters are gonna hate, hate hate hate hate. You just gotta shake it off. Thanks for this helpful and unique summary.
    Sincerely,
    Kristen
    P.S. Lacey’s “80-40” comment was her poking fun of herself for something she said on this past season of Bachelor in Paradise (“I’m like 80-40 between Robert and Marcus right now”). It was just such a subtle touch of humor that Chris Harrison didn’t pick up on it. Oh Lacey, always with the sparkling wit.



    • Kyreds
      10:13 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

      this is Kentucky Sports Radio not a dating service



  18. nstewart
    10:08 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I agree with 99.9% of the posts. Post # 17 would be the .1% that I disagree with.



  19. BTownUKFan
    10:10 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    As a rule I refuse to watch reality shows but I find myself compelled to read Aaron’s synopsis of The Bachelor.
    For those of you that don’t care, learn to use the scroll wheel on your mouse.



  20. Yoda
    10:16 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I love – LOVE – these posts and the comments thereafter. Hahahah. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with sports or Kentucky, and yet the “backlash” makes it such an indispensable part of the KSR arsenal.

    Bravo, Flener. Keep up the good work! #TeamCrazy



  21. secrick
    10:19 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    This is so stupid, please stop it, send it to Yoda, sounds like she likes it.



  22. jmalone0011
    10:26 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    But cant you just make it a live blog so it wont take up as much space on the main page? It will keep people who dislike it happy so they don’t have to scroll for a few extra seconds, and the people who do like it can join in on the fun. You can also just make a new site called Kentucky Non-Sports Related News Radio. Not saying, just saying.



  23. cracka
    10:28 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    love watching all the drama on the show and reading the recap on ksr … once it dwindles down and all the crazies get sent home, it’s really not as entertaining

    i also love all the crazies in the comments section that complain EVERY post, love it

    personally, i don’t think any of tomlin’s articles are funny, but i keep reading them thinking that one day i’ll “get it”, never feel compelled to complain in the comments



  24. BigBlueBoom
    10:32 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I hate these posts too, but every season I look forward to reading all the pissed off posts about this post. The show is trash and wasting your time to watch it is pathetic, but reading angry comments about it on work time makes the day go by.



  25. teech62
    10:35 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I can’t believe the time and energy that people, who don’t want Aaron to discuss this, put into complaining about this. I love it Aaron!!! Keep it coming!!!



  26. WillySpankit
    11:08 am January 6, 2015 Permalink

    You get an A+ in trolling. Solid work.



  27. UK Big Board Update
    12:07 pm January 6, 2015 Permalink

    These are some of my favorite articles – and I’ve never read one word of them (sorry, Aaron). The comment section is just pure. comedy. gold.

    If Aaron added a picture at the bottom of President Obama watching this show with a group of gay and lesbian friends, I would bet my bottom dollar AT LEAST one of these people who have commented head’s would have literally exploded.



  28. sonnyg333
    12:14 pm January 6, 2015 Permalink

    I forgot this site turned to SOAP OPERA’s, I’ll check back in a few weeks to see if any sports is on here..



  29. sonnyg333
    12:17 pm January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Wonder who’s going to read this garbage when all the UK fans are gone from this website…lol



  30. PWinKY
    12:57 pm January 6, 2015 Permalink

    Just logged in to laugh at all the people complaining about the post. Please KSR keep these going, the comedy of people bothering to comment on something “that no one cares about” is simply too delicious to lose.



  31. millertime98
    1:10 pm January 6, 2015 Permalink

    the hilarity of people LOGGING IN to comment on something that is “garbage” cracks me up every time. I really don’t understand these people. Simply clicking on the comment button takes you away from the main page and the sports you so desperately want. Guess what; trying to fill 18-24 hours of content on a web site is not easy. I haven’t looked but I doubt the “baby boy names of 2013” didn’t get as much hatred. Why? Because it’s not what YOU like. I strongly disagree with you, the complainers and urge to just treat it like the ad that plays on certain web sites before you can view what you want. Take 5 seconds and scroll down to the “news” you desperately care about. Or I can give it to you now: The Cats are good at basketball and are keeping their top football recruiter. No one really knows if Harris will choose UK but, gasp, you have to wait until Friday to hear from him. The lady Cats are good too. I’ll kindly get off your lawn.
    Lighten up Francis



  32. South beach Lou
    9:49 am January 7, 2015 Permalink

    I don’t think I have ever seen that many white people together in a room? I never went to a fraternity or anything like that so I have no idea if that’s normal but there was like a disconcerting lack of diversity on the show. They might change the name to “douche utopia”



  33. South beach Lou
    9:56 am January 7, 2015 Permalink

    It’s kind of funny also because it’s a show geared for women but it’s basically a misogynist rape culture fantasy. It’s kind of sad really