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Embracing The Summertime In September

Beach Flip

Often, September is overlooked. It is the awkward middle child located in between summer and fall. People lament the loss of their summer vacation time and look forward to the falling leaves and more form-flattering clothing. Football season is here, but before we get the horse before the autumnal apple-picking cart, let’s hang onto these last days of summer before they are gone. (It is only a matter of time before we are online complaining about the frigid temperatures.) We might as well enjoy this time because by mid-October, we will all have acute PSTSD (Pumpkin Spice Traumatic Stress Disorder.)

The best way to enjoy the last dying breaths of summer is to enjoy good quality summer programing. I wouldn’t want you to spend that time outside. If you are like me, your blood is like a pumpkin spice latte to the mosquitos. Summer-themed programming is the way to go. For example, HGTV’s Beach Flip is a charming substitution for an actual trip to the beach. Four teams fix up run-down beach rental houses for a chance to win $50,000. HGTV has already crowned the winner, but I highly recommend the show, just to keep you in the summer spirit.

Here are some few fun summer thoughts I had while watching Beach Flip:

  • I love all the fun and whimsical names people have for their beach houses
  • Who in their right mind would name a beach house “South Wind”
  • Doesn’t that sound like a fart?
  • How do you paint a pergola outside near the sand?
  • Doesn’t all that sand adhere straight to the paint?
  • Yes! I too would put all of that shiplap there!
  • I think I could renovate a whole home just like these people!
  • Seriously… South Wind? Why not just name it Butt Breeze?

Summer themed programming can transport us straight to a vacation location, all without getting sand stuck in unwanted cracks and crevices.

My other favorite summer programming is Food Network’s Camp Cutthroat. In the show, three contestants are Camp Cutthroatgiven $20, 000. Throughout the show they can bid on sabotages for other competitors. It is either the loss of some part of their cooking station or a substitution of ingredients. The catch is that the judge doesn’t know who and how the contestants have been sabotaged. The show caters to a very specific part of my personality. The good Lord blessed me with a mean competitive streak, but not a lot of talent or will to actually compete. The sabotages on Camp Cutthroat speak to my inner competitive self. It helps level the playing field for some competitors.

If you don’t like a show that totally commits to a theme, then I can’t even with you. Camp Cutthroat reminds me of vacation bible school. Like the VBS days of yore, Camp Cutthroat finds a theme and then mercilessly beats the theme into the ground. Here is what I think runs through the producers’ head as they plan the series, “Oh, so Camp Cutthroat is a campy rendition of the show Cutthroat Kitchen. Cool…we will make everything out of splintery looking-wood and everyone needs to look like an overgrown boy scout.”  Like the time your VBS leaders put a string around a Nutter Butter and called it a dogtag for your Army themed VBS. It takes me back to my childhood.

Camp Cutthroat is a metaphor for life. You get judged on what you create, but nobody knows what you’ve been through. You could have been hanging from a rock wall while attempting to macerate berries, but life doesn’t care. In this world of over-sharing on the Internet, we need a space that emphasizes the campy, carefree, sand-ladened season that is summer.

 

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.