It has been a big week for signs. Between the inauguration, the women’s march and College GameDay coming to Lexington, savvy investors are putting all their money on markers and poster board. Typically, the football gameday signs get all the attention, but something tells me that Kentucky might be more confident with sassy basketball ESPN acrostics. I live for GameDay signs. On any given Saturday, you can find me judging homemade signage more harshly than Simon Cowell critiques a pitchy contestant on American Idol. It truly is an art form. Some signs are just awful. I often wonder, how did this pitiful person make it through high school with such terrible puns and poor penmanship. So, as an act of charity, I’ve put together the perfect rubric to help you assess whether your sign is fit for basic cable viewership.
Pop Culture Relevancy:
Relevancy is fleeting. Sometimes hot takes don’t stand the test of time. It is important to make sure that your references are up to date. No one wants to read more Manti Te’o jokes about fake girlfriends or Steve Harvey blunders.
Goodness. Some signs are garbage. Proper spacing, marker color v. background color and penmanship need to be considered before you begin composing your signage. Also, if you want to be modern, please consider your font choice before creating signs. Comic Sans is for cheesy puns. Arial is for bold assertive statements and Curlz should never, ever be considered.
The goal of a GameDay sign is to point out the inadequacies of your opponent. Throw some shade! It’s College GameDay and we all know the pen is mightier than a sword. Witty phrases written in glitter are just as helpful to the team as a last second three pointer. It is important that your sign roasts your opponent in just the perfect way. Here’s a perfect non-example of what not to do. It just makes me love John Calapari more and want fried seafood as an appetizer.
No one will ever top the sign where each letter of ESPN spelled male genitalia. Ever. All other signs are just fighting for second place. There is definitely a hierarchy for what puts a sign up for consideration for a silver medal. If your sign features a moveable part or interactive feature, congratulations! You’ve won bonus points in my heart. You can also take a decent sign, hand it to an adorable child and wah-lah, it’s noteworthy. From there on out, signs are just somewhere along the continuum. But, keep in mind, all signs matter. Sometimes the quantity is better than the quality.
Grammar and Mechanics:
I’ve learned this one from experience. I once spelled Tim Tebow’s name wrong on my GameDay sign. It is one of my greatest regrets. So, dot your I’s, cross your t’s, check your you’re’s and reassess your then and than’s. People are ruthless. No one wants to get sign attention for the wrong reasons, like this guy…