Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

ATTN: Human Resources Staff

Steve-Spurrier-is-ready-to-run-the-ball-this-season-at-South-Carolina
From: Hamlisch, Gordon; Human Resource Manager
To: Human Resources Staff
Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Team,
Been pretty busy fielding questions and taking meetings with PR about Coach Spurrier’s recent announcement, can anyone field me in on how the proceedings have been so far concerning his departure from the university?
-Gordon

————————–
From: Yelton, Barry, Human Resources
To: Hamlisch, Gordon, and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Gordon,
As we discussed, reached out to Coach about an exit interview and was told I’d have to meet him at the Hooters on Fernandina if I wanted to talk to him. It was loud, but he said he didn’t care what I or this school thinks of him because “he’s a man.” Then he poured my glass of water in my lap and yelled to everyone in the restaurant that I “peed” myself. He seemed to think it was pretty funny and it was very embarrassing, so the interview was cut short. Jim, did you have any luck?
Best, Barry

————————-
From: Hargrave, James; Human Resources
To: Yelton, Barry; and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Not much. I heard he was in his office on Tuesday morning and stopped by. He was watching Ninja Warrior on his laptop and I told him I was going to have to take it back from him because it belonged to the school and therefore the state. He threw a bunch of peanuts at me, then he called me a nerd and struck me in the genitals. Then he lifted his hand up and said “look up here” and when I did he struck me in the genitals again. Frankly. I’m glad he’s gone.
Jim

—————————
From: Ulff, Norman; Human Resources
To: Hamlisch, Gordon; and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

I asked him to stop by my office to talk about his 401k and when he did he held me down and made me smell his farts for twenty minutes before he heard someone coming and let me up. I still need him to sign some documents, should I fax them to him? Where should I fax them?
Thanks,
Norm

—————————-

From: Hamlisch, Gordon; Human Resource Manager
To: Ulff, Norman; and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Norm, he left this number as a contact: 794-8933. Try that and let me know.

—————————-

From: Ulff, Norman; Human Resources
To: Hamlisch, Gordon and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Just called. That’s the number for a laser hemorrhoid removal doctor on Hwy 277

—————————–

From: Pinkston, Keith; Human Resources
To: Hamlisch, Gordon and 6 more
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

Saw him on campus and told him good luck and he grabbed me by my arms and kept making me hit myself. A bunch of students were pointing and laughing at me. He’s the worst.
-Keith

—————————–

From: Hamlisch, Gordon; Human Resource Manager
To: Human Resources Staff
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

I just got an text from him that before he goes to Cabo he’d like to send a note to the faculty thanking them for his time here at the university. I told him I thought that would be a very nice thing to do and that I’m sure everyone would appreciate it.
Gordon

—————————-

From: Spurrier, Steve
To: USC Faculty Mailing List
Goodbye

STUPED NERDS SUCK IT U DUMMYS

——————————

From: Hamlisch, Gordon; Human Resource Manager
To: Human Resources Staff
Re: Coach Spurrier’s Resignation

I’ll take the blame for that one, guys. Probably should have seen that coming.
-Gordon.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

3 Comments for ATTN: Human Resources Staff



  1. za
    1:09 pm October 16, 2015 Permalink

    Hahahaha



  2. Finally
    1:14 pm October 16, 2015 Permalink

    A funny Tomlin post



  3. BigBlueZ
    1:19 pm October 16, 2015 Permalink

    Gold