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A Defector’s Guide To TAYLOR-Gating

Taylorgating

Taylor-gate —\ˈtā-lÉ™r-gāt\verb. To host or attend a social gathering at which an informal meal is served from the back of a parked vehicle, typically in the parking lot before a Taylor Swift concert. *Most of this is plagiarized from dictionary.com

Since she first strutted onto the scene with her sparkly guitar, I have always enjoyed hating on Taylor Swift.  Tall and awkward teenaged girls were supposed to identify with her and want to be her. In what would turn out to be my most rebellious act, I chose to pretend like I was too good for Taylor Swift and her catchy melodies.   I continued my disgust until she put out her 1989 album.   I could hate no more. That album is good and I don’t care who knows it.

In a couple of days, she will bring her traveling squad of model friends to my city. If I had $400 to burn, I’d go and see her. Not only would I have to eat the proverbial crow, I would also have to embrace the Taylor Swift culture. It is a land of fluffy kittens, cat-eye glasses, and red lipstick that I would definitely smudge.

Aside, from making a glittery poster that represents your love for Ms. Swift, the next most fan-girl thing you can do is #Taylorgate. Taylor-gating takes all the wonderful things associated with a tailgate on game day and combines them all the enthusiasm of obsessed teenaged fans.

Taylorgating is a real thing and if you going to commit, you might as well do it right. Below you will all the necessary pieces for the perfect Taylor Swift Taylorgate.

Enchan-tiladas

🎵I was enchan-tiladas to meet you 🎵

The Perfect Taylorgating Menu:

  • Shake It Off Milkshakes
  • You Belong With Brie Cheese Sandwiches
  • Bandaids Dont Fix Donut Holes
  • Go Down In Flames Jalepeno Popper Dip
  • Loving Him Was Big Red Smokies
  • Enchan-tiladas
  • Starbucks Lover Coffee Cake
  • All You Are Is Green Bean Casserole
  • Jonas, Lautner, Mayer, Gyllenhaal, Redmayne, Efron, Kennedy, Styles Pigs in a Blanket

Activities: 

For some of the stops on the 1989 tour, Swift has brought out someone special to sing along with her. Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, Lisa Kudrow and Julia Roberts are just some of the people who were invited on stage.

For your city, place all of the suspected local stars that you anticipate would come on stage in a bowl. (Preferably a folksy bowl that will be conducive for an artsy Instagram shot.) Have everyone pay a dollar to draw and whoever picks the right celebrity wins!
Suggested Celebrities for upcoming cities:

Miami, FL: Gloria Estefan, Gloria’s Miami Sounds Machine, PITBULL, Marco Rubio

Lexington, KY: John Calipari, George Clooney, 2/5 of the Backstreet Boys, Mitch McConnell

Atlanta, GA: Any of the Atlanta Housewives, Usher, Tyler Perry, Chili from TLC, (Bonus points if Chili and Usher sing together.)

What To Wear:

At a typical tailgate, you would need to wear your team’s colors.  For a taylorgate, you need to wear something festive.  Your “team colors” are sparkles, kittens and keds.   And always remember, haters gonna hate, hate, hate, so have a good time while they do.

 

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.