Game of Thrones, the television phenomenon based on the slowly written books (#nopages), returns this weekend for its sixth season and lords know we’re all Jonesin’ for a Thronesin’. You will be watching come Sunday. It is known. But what the heck are you gonna do until then? Sit and stare blankly at the wall? You did that already, like 8 times! Geez. Well, here are three fail-proof ways to spend the 57 odd hours until GoT hits your face orbs.
Watch all the other Thrones
There are 50 hours of Thrones already ready to brain you. Submit. Skip work, sit on your couch and relive the whole story from the beginning. It doesn’t leave much time for sleep, but you can do it. I believe in you. I always have.
Get Drunk and Pass Out
Also known as “Oscar Wilde-ing”, you can shove a bottle of inebriating liquids down your speaky hole and sleep the deep sleep of Roman Emperors for the next two days. Make sure to pre position yourself on the couch with HBO on so that you don’t have to do any work once you awaken from your bacchanalian slumber. This is totally the way that Tyrion and/or Bronn would pass the time, so it’s appropriately themed. Wine works best. #DorneLife
Journey to the center of the Earth
We all know that time goes slower if you go to space, the Big Empty. But we don’t want that, then it’s even longer ’til Thrones! So instead, travel to the molten hot core of Earth so that the time speeds along like a chariot driven by roadrunners. That’s fast my friend. Then you’ll be Throne’d in no time at all! Bring some water, though, I hear it’s a hot tamale down there.