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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

What Your UK Gear Says About You

Hello, friends. And happy Friday. As we dive headlong into the summer months, lets face it: there’s not a lot going on. Outside of the fact that the baseball team (go Cats), the softball team (go Cats) and the tennis team (go Cats) are still playing, there’s just not a lot going on on the basketball or football front. And we here at KSR know where our bread is buttered. We do love buttered bread. So outside of editorial cartoons gone awry and the fact that we may see players named Amile and Julius on the team in the near future, the latter which I think we can all agree would make us sound very European, there’s simply not much news right now. So to keep us away from brutally mocking kids who didn’t come to UK, let’s look today at What Your UK Gear Says About You. Just for fun. No biggie. No one’s making you read it. So, shall we? We shall.

———

T-Shirt Reading “National Champions”: I bought a t-shirt celebrating the NCAA Victory in the last month.

T-Shirt Reading “National Champons”: I bought a t-shirt celebrating the NCAA Victory in the last month from a discount outlet.

Denim Button-Down with UK Logo: Someone gave me this shirt for a birthday or Christmas.

Sweater Vest with UK Logo: I am both a prominent Lexington doctor and a UK fan.

UK Polo Bought at Dawahare’s: I have not purchased UK gear since 2008.

UK Polo Bought at Hill’s: I have not purchased UK gear since Ronald Reagan was president.

UK Cheerleader Uniform: I am a five year-old girl.

Allen Edwards Jersey: I am Allen Edwards.

Blue Spandex Suit: I am using my UK fandom as an excuse to wear a spandex suit.

Necklace with Flashing Blue Lights: I’m totally drunk right now.

UK Tank Top: I often listen to basketball games on the radio while cleaning a gun.

UK-Themed Couch: I have disposable income to spend on a UK-themed couch.

UK Visor: I often wear my Oakleys indoors.

UK Logo Curtains: I don’t have a lot of visitors at my home.

True Blue Fan Button: Someone gave me this for free and I’m just going to wear it.

Cardigan Featuring any Combination of a Logo, Wildcat, Basketball or Hoop: I am a retired schoolteacher and proud grandmother.

Face-painted Paw Print On Cheek: I am either a young child or a divorced hairdresser.

Player Jersey with No T-Shirt Beneath: You will not want to sit next to me at a basketball game.

Extremely Tight Women’s T-Shirt: My husband bought me this to show off my boobs to his friends.

UK Mesh Basketball Shorts (kids’ size): I want to play basketball for the Wildcats some day.

UK Mesh Basketball Shorts (men’s adult size): I want to play basketball in my local YMCA league this coming November.

UK Snuggie: I eat a lot of ice cream directly from the container. A lot.

Blue Wig: I am over forty, “crazy,” and my friends secretly think I drink too much.

Top Hat: I have season tickets in the lower level of Rupp Arena.

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Have any to add? Have at it below. And have a great weekend, gang.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

58 Comments for What Your UK Gear Says About You



  1. Gaddis Bomb
    1:05 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    This post was garbage.



  2. macon_volfan
    1:07 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    If going to the SEC tourney for the last 12 years has taught me anything, it’s that this list is spot on.



  3. KellyB
    1:08 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    lol…I always love the old ladies with the cardigans.



  4. dom
    1:09 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK magnet on car: I am an official UK fan!



  5. Hater
    1:09 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    @1. Sometimes Tomlin puts out crap, but this post was grade A bro!



  6. Pabloco
    1:12 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Khaki pants with little “UK” logos all over them: I am rich enough that I don’t care if you think I look goofy.



  7. Azubuike's Bicep
    1:14 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    “Top Hat: I have season tickets in the lower level of Rupp Arena.”

    ….epic



  8. mocha
    1:14 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    The Hill’s comment made me laugh out loud.



  9. warrior
    1:15 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Warrior says- Macon Vol Fan real fan if he follows UT for 12 straight years to SEC tourney where they repeatedly SUCK and get ass handed to them. Kudos for loyalty to such a Piss Poor program.”



  10. Andy
    1:15 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Awesome. My wife has an extremely tight UK T-Shirt



  11. Curadhan
    1:16 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK Bumper sticker on car: I am a true blue UK fan
    UK 2012 championship sticker on car: I am a UK fan only when we win a championship
    UK 2012 championship sticker AND UK sticker on car: I am a die hard UK fan!
    UK eating UofL fish sticker on car: I am one of those douche-y UK fans
    Tattered,fading, cracked UK sticker on car: I haven’t bought a new car since I graduated UK.



  12. CATandMONKEY
    1:17 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Fine post as per usual, C.M.
    Actually think my UK pullover may have come from Dawahares.
    Both girls have the cheerleader garb yet my wife still, oddly, refuses to don similar swag. Must consult the KSR brain trust for more convincing arguments than I am able to muster.



  13. lalablue
    1:18 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    I laughed out loud at some of these cause they’re so true! Good post.



  14. MarionCo
    1:19 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Anthony Epps jersey: I’m 30+ and know my point guards well.



  15. Azubuike's Bicep
    1:20 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    15 year old silky worn down “00” jersey: This jersey makes my mullett look good.



  16. HOO HOO
    1:21 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    My candy-striped crimson pants make me look like a douche!



  17. Michael
    1:23 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK pacifier. My one week old has one.



  18. macon_volfan
    1:24 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    #9-well, they did make the finals in 2009, and the semis in 2008 and 2010……



  19. allen craig
    1:26 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    what about a UK leather helmet? Im drunk?



  20. thegoosewasgolden
    1:29 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    nice post!



  21. Austin Ramey
    1:29 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Plain blue shirt with plain white letters reading Kentucky says I just bought this shirt because UK won a national title.. Band wagoners



  22. kentuckycarter
    1:31 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK Replica Zebra Striped Basketball Shorts: “I think my mullet is awesome”



  23. TheFakeJamaalMagloire
    1:32 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    A KU 2012 National Championship Shirt- You were really drunk on Bourbon St and bought the wrong shirt. Why were they selling these?



  24. kentuckycarter
    1:32 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    15. my bad. i saw your post right as i hit submit. sorry for stepping on your kool-aid



  25. kfund
    1:32 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    1. Why is KSR advertising in its banner getting a degree at UNC?
    2. Wearing “banned” wildcat tongue gear…. old school.



  26. cgivens21
    1:35 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Plain white T-shirt with blue UK logo on front and armpit sweat stains- You are Ashley Judd.



  27. Joe
    1:37 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Khaki pants and faded UK baseball cap: Bro, you got tickets to the game? Sweet. I’ll see you there, bro.



  28. Smiffanator
    1:38 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    A little of topic but I think it fits in well here.. If you are over the age of 12 there is no reason for you to be wearing a basketball jersey.No argument is needed, I’m trying to save you from looking retarted. Nothing looks worse than a middle aged + over weight man wearing an old faded UK jersey even worse with no shirt underneath, just don’t do it. Do yourself a favor by a UK t shirt or even could go get a nice UK polo. Fashion tip of the day for the UK fan.
    P.S. Ladies look very good wearing a nice tight fitting UK football jersey tho!



  29. McOnions
    1:41 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    2012 Final Four shirt – You bought your gear a week early.
    UK Knit Belt – Your Larry Vaught
    Ron Mercer Celtics Jersey – You love the 90s and are not going to let go.



  30. ChairmanRowe
    1:44 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    A Hills reference? That is awesome. And now I feel old.



  31. SkyAntoine
    1:46 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    I hate looking over the top hats to see the game.



  32. gimmeabreak
    1:51 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    I bet Kelly is more than 3.5 miles away!



  33. Manbearpig
    1:52 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    The Hills reference was just freaking awesome.



  34. Azubuike's Bicep
    1:53 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    24-The fact that we had a post esentially saying the same thing just proves that it’s true. haha



  35. GoCats
    1:55 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    25 I do not have that ad in my banner. I’m pretty sure the ads on your page are based on your recent internet searches, which means you or someone else on your computer has been looking at UNC stuff.



  36. fabfiver
    1:58 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Foam 3 goggles and no shirt…………..

    I’m hoping Dick Vitale mentions me and espn gets a close-up!



  37. GBB
    1:59 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    37 is right



  38. macon_volfan
    2:05 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    chrome browser and the ADBlock Ad on will take care of all those ads….



  39. dan
    2:06 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    anything with the “house divided” written on it – like Henry Clay, you are both great compromisers. or your wife chopped your balls off



  40. Final Four Program
    2:09 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Look at the cover of the Final Four program………it says “Offical Program,” not “Official Program.”

    If you have an OFFICAL program it tells you the NCAA can’t spell!



  41. jen
    2:09 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    The problem with ladies wearing tight shirts to show off their boobs is that they are usually showing off several rolls of fat also.



  42. TheDecker
    2:13 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    15. Hil-freakin-larious



  43. BUSHMASTER
    2:15 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    My 112lb woman wearing a size xsmall UK shirt to show what my $6000.00 bought.



  44. M. Vick
    2:23 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    This is the funniest post on the site in a long time. I lost it at the Allen Edwards jersey line!



  45. Jeff
    2:50 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Fat old guy shirtless with UK paint on belly- Walking encyclopedia of UK knowledge and best Happy Hours in town.



  46. Mudcreekmark
    3:03 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Best post on here in a long time. Most of them are true and almost all of them are funny. Great job!!!



  47. bluefan
    3:18 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    What are you going to say about those like me wearing FEAR THE BROW shirts for many years to come? lol

    Another thing, I like the bandwagoners much better than the UofL shirt wearers. Hope we did pick up new fans.



  48. Mudcreekmark
    3:43 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    IF YOU DRESS LIKE THE GUY IN THIS POST: I have never played basketball in my life but I really like the attention I get when I dress like this.



  49. from the hometown of THE 6th Man
    4:05 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK Tank Top: I often listen to basketball games on the radio while cleaning a gun.

    Describes the majority of UK fans in the 270. Gotta love it. Go Cats.

    Here’s mine: UK hat — Bought in the lower level of Commonwealth right after beating #1 LSU in 2007. Will take it to the grave.



  50. 430 West Vine
    4:24 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Ha ha, Hill’s …..worked there one semester while at UK. They paid us in cash every Friday.



  51. ajfa;kjdjf;lak
    5:00 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Another awful post by Tomlin. Why does he continue to write for this site?



  52. Trip S
    7:03 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Uk flags on car: if I could drive to Maui, I would.



  53. idontflinch
    8:37 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    1. Blue and white Louisville Sucks shirt: I hope I get drunk one night and there is a Loovulle fan around.
    2. Camo UK hat: Yes, I do think this hat matches every shirt I own.
    3. A UK NIT shirt: Wait, did they even make those? BTW, I loved dogging UNC fans having to wear those the same year Duke fans proudly wore their National Title shirts. I still squeeze it in when the opportunity presents itself. I’m just glad the Cards didn’t win the title when UK went to the NIT!
    4. Speaking of the devils…A DUKE hat with the D and E crossed out with a black Sharpie: I’m still pissed about that daggum game.



  54. bluebiscuit
    9:23 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Love the one about Hill’s. Went in there once to buy a computer desk, advertised for $60. The bored high school kid at the checkout scanned it and it came up as a bird feeder, for $5.99. I pointed out the error, and the kid said, “If it says it’s a bird feeder, it’s a bird feeder. Doesn’t matter to me.” So, I paid $5.99, took it home, and sat my computer on the so-called bird feeder. I think Hill’s went out of business that very year.



  55. joey
    9:27 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    jsut spit drank all over the computer screen after reading the one about Hill’s. well played, next time see if you can work in a Gold Circle reference.



  56. Lex8ton Fay8 County
    9:36 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    UK-Uof L House Divided flag in front of the house — UK grad married to someone who went to U of L for one semester and dropped out.



  57. Jho4uk
    9:54 pm May 11, 2012 Permalink

    Denim converse high tops ——–I usually wear a head band while turning an ankle at the blue courts



  58. uknotku
    12:29 am May 12, 2012 Permalink

    KU 2012 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP T-SHIRT: oh wait…