Hello, friends. You look great. Will you go to the prom with me? Check Yes or No.
__ Yes __ No
Friends, I don’t need to tell you that we are now, in the middle of May, officially well into the no man’s land of meaningful sports information which will curse us for the next month and a half or so. If you think this isn’t true, you are a crazy person. Yesterday the two most interesting stories that came out of the Big Blue Nation were that Calipari said it would be fun to coach Lebron James and someone made a super-weird Cal’s-face-cake. You just lost your argument, sucka. As we are in the doldrums we, as many other websites do, must find new and creative ways to get you, the reader, to return for more until things pick back up again. I recently attended a very high-caliber internet conference in Switzerland to learn how to do exactly this, and I am pleased to tell you I learned a lot about what’s known in the internet industry as “clickbait.” This clickbait is designed specifically to intrigue you into reading the story to which it links. By telling you all of this, I realize I’m only hurting my own case — but we have become great friends over the years, and I can’t lead you along. That said, today I’d like to present to you a series of teaser headlines I’ll be working on over the next three months with which to trick you. I hope that when you see these headlines, you’ll forget everything I just said and click on them, so I will know the $17,000 I spent of KSR’s money to fly first class to a Swiss Internet conference wasn’t in vain. I’m sure you’ll let me know what you think in the comment section. Oh, I’m sure. Have a great weekend, friends, and I’ll see you next week.
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