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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

The Kidz Place Recruiting Korner

Hello parents!

Spring is here and with it comes the Kidz Place’s annual recruitment drive. As always, we here at Kidz Place count on your help in the bringing in of new and worthy students to our Azure Valley location, and this year is no different. Our recruiting teams are always scouting the community for children who can and will help Kidz Place once again become the top Pre-K daycare center in the area. Please take note of the following recruiting news and — as with every year — we hope you’ll join us in the efforts to bring these worthwhile children into our “play space” with your own children for maximum benefits for all.

Four-star chalk art recruit Gavin Mellencamp, whose list once included Kidz Place, Little Hands, Wise Owl and PlayStop, has narrowed his list down to two, according to recent tweets by his father. A recent in-house visit to PlayStop yielded little in the way of acceptable blocks for Mellencamp, whose father says will be a very important factor in his decision. KidzPlace and Wise Owl currently offer the most and varied types of blocks, from Duplo maxi-blocks to traditional wooden, while Little Hands is known for only offering semi-durable foam blocks. With PlayStop off the table for Mellencamp and a limited collection at Little Hands, I’d expect Mellencamp to narrow his choices further in the upcoming weeks. It should be noted that he’s scheduled for an in-house at Little Hands next Wednesday, which we all know is the day they bring their rabbits in, and that could prove impressive enough to keep the school on his list. We’ll see.

-The parents of Madison Klingler, of the upscale Dancing Meadows Subdivision, stopped in on Monday to speak with our staff and they seemed impressed. As you already know, Klingler has shown remarkable acumen with putting together princess outfits on her own, which denotes a strong aptitude for storybook comprehension. I don’t need to tell you that Klingler would be a great addition to Kidz Place, especially during “Fairy Tale Week,” and her father’s new job as a pediatric allergist would also be a strong connection for Kidz Place parents.

Bradley Kingston, who many of you may have seen in action at the Doe Park Library branch playing with the trains, has expressed an interest in Kidz Place. Kingston, I think, would make a great addition to Kidz Place as we recently saw the early departure of Victor Farmer, who previously brought an great affinity to trains to our play area. Efforts are being made to bulk up on our train toys before his visit in late April and hopefully he and his parents will see Kidz Place as a viable choice for their son.

-Our sources tell us that Ashley Harmon, Jenny Wilder and Alexis Furthington continue to be a package deal, having grown up just houses apart from one another and enjoying each others’ company in the same playgroup for several months. This trio would really be a great get for us, especially with Harmon’s accomplished fingerpainting skills and Wilder’s love of kitties. If we have to take Furthington too, I think we can — she’s not someone we really need right now, but if it means swaying the whole group I’ll take it. We should have the room on our roster.

-The more I think about the offer on the table to Chase Zanes, the more I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. Several parents have concerns about Zanes’ willingness to interact with others during “team play” and feel his tantrums could be a distraction when his mother leaves him as he’s currently going through a phase where he’s struggling with separation anxiety. I’ve seen Zanes personally, and his scissor skills are far beyond any I may have ever seen from a child his age, but I’m not sure it’s worth the extra hassle we may see if he chooses Kidz Place.

Louis Tamborline should be considered a three-star recruit right now, though he could go higher if he can learn to share. Tamborline is a GREAT kid, really into cars, and despite these drawbacks (which should improve) I still think he’d be great here. We’ll see what happens.

Thanks to all of you Kidz Place parents for your continued interest in your children’s future classmates and remember to talk up Kidz Place should you see the parents of these toddlers when you’re out in the community. With your help, we can keep Kidz Place the tops in the city!

A few other reminders: please remember when bringing cookies for the entire class that Cassie Holleran has peanut allergies. And we are still trying to figure out who pooped in the cowboy hat during Let’s Pretend Day last week. I’m sure hearing that from your children was alarming; please rest assured we are trying to get to the bottom of it and the hat in question has been discarded.

Here’s to a great April and beyond!

Marjorie Rollins
Director, The Kidz Place

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

71 Comments for The Kidz Place Recruiting Korner

  1. WTF is this
    1:03 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    What the hell…?

  2. GoCats2
    1:05 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    There is no way that bringing rabbits in on the day a prize recruit is visiting would not be a recruiting violation. Tipton needs to look into this.

  3. Ukbigdaddy
    1:06 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Lame, remove immediately.

  4. Catpapa2525
    1:07 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Gold Tomlin! Pure Gold! Your off color sense of humor is an awesome change of pace for the site. Keep it up!

  5. Bob Diggity
    1:07 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Is BCG back? Did I black out?

  6. Ken in Middletown
    1:08 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I have a sense of humor, but this isn’t funny; get this kind of crap off the site!

  7. macon_volfan
    1:09 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I laughed during this. My students are taking a test. They looked at me. I’m embarrassed.

  8. J-Huh
    1:09 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink


  9. Ugly muffin
    1:09 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Usually I enjoy the most ridiculous manner possible…but this is really stupid.

  10. Catpapa2525
    1:10 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    1, 4, Its scathing commentary on grown men’s obsession over 18 and 19 year old kids….. I am as interested in tonights announcements as anyone else, dotn’t get me wrong, but when you step back and thing about it it is a little rediculous.

  11. PeopleWithNoSenseOfHumor
    1:11 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I’m gonna complain becuase I’m not very smart and just don’t get it! Like life! Free blogs should never post anything funny that I don’t like.

  12. Catpapa2525
    1:11 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    @5 Nicely done.

  13. GoCats2
    1:12 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I am not always a fan of these but this is absolutely wonderful. Maybe its because I have 6 kids and have seen my fair share of Day Care. Maybe its because the picture of Chase Zanes looks exactly like my 3 year old all the time and we have concerns about his willingness to interact with others. In his defense he is the only boy with 5 sisters!

  14. Mr. Obvious
    1:13 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Two minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Well, more like 30 seconds…I got bored by the third sentence and scrolled to the bottom. HORRIBLE!!

  15. Fubar
    1:13 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink


  16. Bull
    1:14 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Come on, I’m a huge fan of all KSR everything but this site has went down hill since bti left. I once read every post. Now only read Drew and Matt’s. Must get better.Please bring BTI BACK! Get rid of these other Jokers

  17. Wildcat49
    1:14 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Are these kids on twitter?

  18. Carter's Dad
    1:15 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    If Gavin’s enrollment results in less block time for Carter, we’ll be considering a transfer. Its awfully frustrating to be recruited over by someone who made you a lot of promises.

  19. CowboyHat
    1:15 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Haha! Another great one. Ignore the dumb people. The average age of commentors must be well below 20 these days. We can only hope they grow up with the ability to laugh.

  20. at Work
    1:19 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    17. haha, exactly.

    Keep things in perspective folks. Articles like this are what separate KSR from every cookie cutter recruitment story out there.

  21. Sense of Humor
    1:19 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    wow people. you haters probably think Everybody Loves Raymond is funny. lets all pitch in and buy these people a funny bone.

  22. Mr Oblivious
    1:19 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    #14-God forbid you should be bored.

  23. fb>bb
    1:23 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I like it! Keep it up! There is only so much UK basketball recruiting you can read or hear about and this put’s a unique perspective on it.

  24. Musehobo
    1:24 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Downhill since BTI left? That’s like saying UK went downhill after Billy G left.

  25. JPAYNE
    1:24 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I thought this was real until I read the comments…now I get it, and now it’s pretty damn funny.

  26. Bigcat76
    1:24 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    You mean someone put a Dookie in the cowboy hat?

  27. Rae
    1:26 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    10. Thank you. I was afraid I was the only one who got it.

  28. Bsb Coach
    1:27 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I’m assuming the only people who liked this are women. In the future, if you plan on submitting similar posts, please put them on a women’s only post (like the college site). Thanks.

  29. btowncatfan
    1:29 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    This is the funniest damn post on KSR in a looong time. Pure gold Tomlinm, thanks for the laugh.

  30. Micah
    1:30 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Lighten up people, I thought this was pretty hilarious and well thought out. Can only talk about tonights recruits so much, everything that could possibly be said has been several times over, all we can do is wait…

  31. zack
    1:31 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I rant and raved about this one time but i still dont understand why people have to blast Tomlin for his posts, you dont like it we get it. 14- At least it was 30 seconds of excitment, now you can go back to playin playstation and not getting laid:)

  32. Gavin's Dad
    1:31 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Gavin will announce his decision during this year’s Fourth of July Parade. Please know that he has not made a decision yet and any rumors floating around regarding his recruitment can be disregarded. His mother and I are the only reliable sources of information, though ultimately this is Gavin’s decision- we want him to follow his heart.

  33. Indycatfan
    1:32 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Great post! We need more Tomlin posts. Hilarious

  34. btowncatfan
    1:33 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    By the way, all the people complaining/commenting about the irreverance of the post just don’t “get” what KSR is about, read the tagline at the top of the page.

  35. Blue
    1:38 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I would put Louis as a 4 star…he may have some baggage, but it is well worth it. I have never seen a kid do so much with cars, it really is unbelievable. Image what he would do when teamed up Bradley’s trains, talk about a 1-2 combo

  36. Blue
    1:40 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Also, I hope we stear clear of Chase, I hear his dad works at Office Max and has been getting improper benefits (i.e. scissors of all colors).

  37. Upset
    1:42 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I just heard that Gavin got a splinter in his drawing hand, and could be out for at least a week, do you think this will have any effect on his recuitment? If so, then where do you think Kidz Place will go if he isnt available? I will hang up and listen.

  38. Mr. Orton
    1:44 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    My son, Daniel, is much better than any of these kids!

  39. Stangluvr
    1:49 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    If I bring in an ultrasound picture to show my unborn child is above average in height for his week of gestation, Can he get bumped to the #1 spot for the future 2012 recruits? We currently live in TN, but are willing to relocate. Please respond ASAP, the shady daycare in our town (owned by the woman who is married to the ice cream truck man)is trying to go to our doctor appointments with us!!!!

  40. DJ Phat Azz
    1:51 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    They were laughing at your face, Dwayne

  41. lexslamman
    1:51 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Can anyone tell me why a kid might want to play at PlayStop? What exactly do they have to offer these recruits? Surely any child can see that Kidz Place has the best track record of developing young talent.

  42. Derrr
    1:54 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I swear I have a hard time reading tomlins post by the first paragraph I usually give up. Too Try Hard.

  43. Rae
    1:56 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    39. I heard of that place, Baylor Imaginationland, am I right? You aren’t the first to have them harassing you. Did you give them your phone number?

  44. Gavin
    1:57 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Im gon’ shock the playground!

  45. Kaboom
    2:01 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Go Cats!

  46. KidzPlaceRadio (KPR)
    2:02 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Well Little Hands is a Gymboree school, and we are a Children’s Place school. Gavin has always worn Gymboree, and his sister is a toddler model for them. His father wants him at Little Hands, and i think he wants to play with all the toys by himself. He knows if he goes to Kidz Place that, even though he’s going to be better prepared for life in Kindergarten, he’s going to have to give up the spotlight and share the toys with everyone else.

  47. Rick in Nash
    2:02 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    This is absolutely the funniest post in ages.

  48. UK Rifle >>>> WVU Rifle
    2:04 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    What kind of shoe deal does Kidz Place have?

    How many times will my kid get national TV exposure?

    Do the teachers at Kidz Place have what it takes to get my kid to the next level?

  49. J-Huh
    2:05 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    #44, thumbs up.

  50. John W.
    2:07 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    C.M Tomlin is not funny. He’s never been funny. It’s very telling that he has been here since day one and he gets one post a week and it’s always in the middle of the afternoon.

  51. shields eyes
    2:09 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    You forgot about the Lil’ Nittany Lions day school.

  52. ZombieLibrarian
    2:12 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Every time I read a comments after section on this site, I lose a little more faith in humanity.

  53. Ridge Runner
    2:13 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    OK….somebody get Pitino off the daycare teacher. For crying out loud.

  54. catty
    2:15 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Well I don’t want to be gossiping, but my little Gabby told me that the Jenny Wilder girl is a real tramp. She shows the boys her pp in the cloak room at Sunday school.

  55. Gavin's Dad
    2:17 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    51. Bath time freaked me out at that school. None of the other schools even have bath time. Why would there be a bath time at daycare?

  56. Chase's Mom
    2:18 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    54. Why does Jenny have a pp?

  57. Catpapa2525
    2:21 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    44. Bazinga!

  58. catty
    2:22 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    private parts

  59. UKFaniac
    2:35 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    I’m pulling for Kingston, he had been on our radar for a while and I think he would be a huge get since Deerborn left for Kindergarten last year.

  60. BlueWhipped
    3:01 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    FWIW, Mellancamp TwitFingerpainted a pic of himself wearing a Wise Owl onesie. Don’t know how old it was. I can never judge ages until they’re like 8 years old. Any news on Patterson and Lucas?

  61. Johnnyhopkins
    3:06 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Why complain about something you can read for free? Don’t read the site if you don’t like the posts. You comment like these guys owe you something.

  62. Norkaintuck
    3:15 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Oh Christopher, you make me giggle on the inside.

  63. AO
    3:18 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    People who don’t like Tomlin’s posts haven’t been reading the site long enough. It’s good to stop and make fun of ourselves from time to time. Hilarious.

  64. J.D.
    3:27 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Some comedy recommendations for #50 John W., given the tastes he has so clearly demonstrated in his analysis of Tomlin’s talents. Pretty sure you’ll find plenty to laugh at with these, Mr. W. Enjoy!

    Larry the Cable Guy
    Vampires Suck
    Employee of the Month
    Two and a Half Men
    Andrew Dice Clay
    Big Momma’s House 2
    Family Circus

  65. TAXman
    3:29 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    64. You forgot:

    Bill Bellamy
    Carrot Top

  66. TAXman
    3:30 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    60. If he’s in a onesie, he’s probably not over the age of 1 1/2.

  67. Stangluvr
    4:19 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    #53…..that shizzzz is funny right there. I spit my drink across my office when I read that!

  68. Karen Jessica Sypher-Dollen
    4:48 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    Hahaha- funny stuff, by the way an update on THE Needle Nuts would be great

  69. macon_volfan
    4:59 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    #40-who are you talking to?

  70. theWilkman
    5:52 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    #53 – you’re right. Don’t know why I bother reading the comments on Tomlin’s posts, the Idiot Brigade always shows up to say how unfunny they are

  71. Madison's Mom
    6:09 pm April 11, 2012 Permalink

    You may not be aware that Madison has also performed with the Dancing Meadows Community Theater in “Mr. Pickles’ Menagerie” as “Pinto the Wonderpony” and in the winter production “Three Bells for Jose” as “Inez”. In the latter role Madison really stepped up her game in a challenging portrayal of a mentally-challenged 10-year old! I have personally worked on staging, vocal coaching and set design and production, and, if Madison receives your offer before National Daycare Signing Day, you can count on my volunteer efforts with Kidz Place! Madison’s father is currently swamped–allergy season! but he can offer 10% discounts on office visits to Kidz Place kids–again, quid pro quo! Looking forward to your offer!