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The Friday Hootenanny: What Your Favorite NCAA Team Says About You (Part II)

Hello, friends. Hope your Friday is going swimmingly. As you may or may not remember, we started down a path on Wednesday with part one of a look at how accurately we can gauge a person’s personality type simply by taking a look at where their sports fandoms lie (you can check out Part I here), But we left a few stones unturned, I think. And after all, it’s Friday. So let’s turn over a few more of those stones to finish up our week in part two of the two-part series What Your NCAA Team Says About You, shall we? We shall. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Indiana: I wear my “nice boots” to church.

Florida: This water bottle is currently full of Absolut Citron.

Gonzaga: I am tired of telling people where Gonzaga is located.

Texas A&M: After this football game, I have to go back to my pig insemination work.

Washington: I have discovered more than three murder victims while hiking.

Wichita State: There is a 76% chance I majored in “Rodeo Management.”

Brown: No one gets my hilarious comparisons of this basketball season to Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.

Fairfield: I often just tell people I went to UConn.

Yale: I love the pomp and circumstance of sporting events, and overdo these traditions to mask the fact that I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Cal-Poly: My only friend is a robot I built myself.

Portland: No one seems to care that I’m a Vegan as much as I do.

Sam Houston: I have fired a pistol inside a residential home or place of business.

Hawaii: I may or may not have ever thrown a baby into a volcano to appease an angry island god.

Hartford: I have a tattoo of Ray Bourque.

Wisconsin: 45-60% of my heart mass is cheese curd.

The Citadel: I am incredibly intense at family get-togethers.

West Virginia: I once got so drunk I threw a tire iron through a post office window.

Ohio State: My insistence upon Buckeye paraphernalia has ruined several quality relationships.

USC: I spend an inordinate amount of time each day trying to spot myself in crowd shots on TMZ.

Notre Dame: My impending wedding will take up your whole day.

UCLA: I am not a natural blonde.

Appalachian State: If an open flame comes near this drink, we will all die in a horrific fireball.

College of Charleston: Someday Kenny Chesney will answer my fan letters.

Brigham Young: Someday Marie Osmond will answer my fan letters.

Princeton: Someday physicist Gerard Hooft will answer my fan letters.

Mizzou: I think BW3’s is “fine dining.”

Stanford: I once spent a week in a tree.

Georgia: One of my eyebrows will never grow back due to a hazing incident.

Oregon: Everything I own is permeated with the smell of patchouli oil. I swear that’s what it is. If you’re a cop, you have to tell me.

Penn State: I have no idea what to do with all this Penn State gear.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

40 Comments for The Friday Hootenanny: What Your Favorite NCAA Team Says About You (Part II)



  1. swamp donkey
    11:08 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    waste of time



  2. Professor Cheese
    11:12 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Morehead State – I just picked this college because I thought the name was really funny



  3. over the hills and far away
    11:16 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Purdue: I like wrestling with pigs in the mud.



  4. Floyd the Barber
    11:18 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Boise State: I have blue wall-to-wall shag carpet in my house.



  5. GoCats2
    11:21 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    #1 Are you referring to the comment you typed?



  6. over the hills and far away
    11:21 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Mississipi State: My hero is Robert E. Lee



  7. Wu Tang Financial
    11:26 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Indiana: We love Peter Jurkin!



  8. ThatsAShame
    11:32 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    This is one of your best Tomlin. Very nice. The PAC NW references are so spot on it makes me wonder if you spend time there.



  9. carlos toomer
    11:35 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Tennessee: I’ve been to Rock City 273 times.



  10. Joe
    11:37 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Louisville: Home of the Line Beard



  11. Harley Wells
    11:37 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    #6 Robert E Lee was a great man!



  12. David Elswick
    11:41 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Louisville: My favorite show is “I love the 80s”



  13. Don Hobbs
    11:44 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Indiana – Where apathy is a virtue.



  14. U SUCK!
    11:46 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    1- have u ever read one of this guys posts? Everything he writes is garbage. MJ needs to change this sites mission to “the most retarded manner possible” when he writes. He has the journalistic skills of Helen Keller mixed with the comedic value of genocide. He makes me wanna go to the park and kick a dog.



  15. sunnycat
    11:50 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    4. For real? I have that same carpet.



  16. My other brother Darrel
    11:54 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    This is not good… But long live KSR! Can’t win em all



  17. Nerdo
    11:57 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    This gets me thinking. I wonder if Missouri tailgates with fried ravioli? It’s huge in that state.



  18. I agree
    11:57 am January 20, 2012 Permalink

    1 & 14 – I couldn’t agree more. If someone from another school wrote something like this about us, KSR would be in a hissy. KSR seems to be making the transition from being amusing to being pompous and mean. I don’t really like negative posts like this that cast a bad light on our fanbase. A little more class wouldn’t hurt this website.



  19. guest
    12:03 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    #1 – That is my name but you can return it at your earliest convenience because apparently your time is quite valuable. By quite valuable I mean your free-time falls b/n not having time for a humorous post but having the time to comment negatively on it.



  20. jaxcats8503
    12:10 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Tomlin, the 2nd installment eclipsed the first! Great work, sir. Keep it up!



  21. over the hills and far away
    12:10 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Indiana – I love to eat fried twinkies at the State Fair



  22. wilDCat
    12:12 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    18 – I recall he had a similar degrading statement about us in part one of the series. It makes fun of everyone, us included, in a light hearted way. If another site did the same thing from another school, I’m sure KSR people would enjoy it.

  23. Open letter to all who Bitch and complain:
    Get over yourselves you pompous POS. (Read it as Plural)
    Don’t like it, simple…Don’t read it!
    Got better things to do? Look in the mirror and re-draw line beard!
    Feel energetic? Iron the bill on your hat.
    Everytime you go to work and forget to ask if they would like fries with that double cheese Whopper? Don’t worry, not everybody hits a home run everytime at bat.



  24. Scott
    12:17 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    #6 Jeff Davis would be historically more accurate in the context this was done. #11, you are correct, he was.



  25. ?
    12:26 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    #23 – Is that you Matt? Or is this Matt’s boyfriend? (remember, you’re liberal, so there’s nothing wrong with that)



  26. Al's IndiCats
    12:32 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Damn Tomlin, did you piss in everyone’s Wheaties this morning? Personally I liked it.



  27. I agree
    12:46 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    23 – Like I said, keep it classy. Attitudes expressed on this site reflect our fanbase as a whole. So, just because someone doesn’t like a KSR contributor’s posts, they are a UL fan and they work fast food? That doesn’t even make sense. Btw, those are the same tired insults Drew Franklin and Matt Jones use daily on this site; use some creativity while nerd fighting, please.



  28. Give me a racoon, please.
    12:58 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Seriously, this seems to be all in good fun. And for those of you complaining, if someone were going to say what it says about a fan who roots for Kentucky…

    Kentucky: I will find a reason to bitch about anything. Point. Blank. Period.



  29. over the hills and far away
    1:05 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Right on #28. Too funny and as a ardent fan, it is true in all actuality



  30. Loosier
    1:07 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    14 – it is ironic that you say everything this guy posts is garbage yet your entire post is garbage. Your attempts to be funny w the Helen Keller joke was an epic fail.

    18 – you keep saying this site could use class yet you agreed with post #14 who used the word retarded as an insult. Hypocrite.



  31. MIDDAY
    1:18 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Oregon – If you’re a cop, you have to tell me and then play a game of SHWAP.

    Great read, Tomlin. =)



  32. Borzellos entourage
    1:22 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Appalachian State’s should read “free blunt with every textbook purchase.” Or one of my favorites, “dude, this whole town is high!! Boone, NC; elevation 3333 ft.”



  33. Al's IndiCats
    1:23 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    30 has a point,#18 You say keep it classy but yet to write a distasteful remark about a person with a learning disability? Yeah that’s real class! Keep the good work up!



  34. Note Quite
    2:16 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    I appreciate the effort, but some of those are just dumb. Clearly you have no knowledge of the state of CT. Ray Borque played for Boston Bruins at a time when Hartford had its own NHL Team, no Fairfield fan/alum would ever say they went to UConn. Tree people are from Cal-Berkeley, not Stanford though their mascot is a tree.



  35. catfaninrockytop
    2:34 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    23- Well played sir, that is comedy!



  36. lebky
    6:51 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    Damn, I wish Matt would turn off comments forever.



  37. Jarweed
    11:06 pm January 20, 2012 Permalink

    If you don’t “get” Tomlin, I sure as hell don’t get you.



  38. Paducah
    12:44 am January 21, 2012 Permalink

    Puerile



  39. NYCWildcat
    2:06 am January 21, 2012 Permalink

    I like Tomlin’s articles. If you think these stereotypes are inflammatory and go overboard, you have the constitution of a weenie. Oscar Meyer even.



  40. BlueNotes
    10:36 am January 21, 2012 Permalink

    You all realize that Louisville doesn’t exist?