Welcome, future Mountaineer, to West Virginia University! Here all your dreams of higher learning come true, you’ll experience top-rated professorial guidance and create long and lasting friendships with the very people you’ll inevitably rely upon to pry your foot out of a sprung bear trap later in life. We all need those people and you’ll find them — and a lasting education — at West Virginia University! Let’s see all the great things WVU has to offer!
Classroom time is important, and at WVU you’ll find open, accessible instructors in every class setting. Also, you’ll be pleased to know that the average wait time as your professors seek to figure out the overhead projector has been cut, after comprehensive training, from twenty minutes in 2013 to only fifteen minutes in 2014!
Visit our library to find literally tens of books and feel free to enjoy an apple, bagel or coffee as you study diligently for your next quiz. Whatever your major, we promise you will find a minimum of two books or three comprehensive brochures on the subject. Here we find Susan, who has been working to pass Pre-Calculus for the last eighteen years. You’ll get it this year, Susan!
“Siri, what is the weather today?” Ha, ha! Just kidding. No one knows what this machine does. But it just goes to show the inventiveness of a Mountaineer imagination knows no boundaries! Who knows what you’ll invent at WVU? The sky’s the limit! (Please note that mountains are closer to the sky than many other geographical areas, minimizing limits.)
Here are two friendly representatives from the WVU Creative Role-Players Club. Due to more restrictive regulations placed upon student activity groups in 2014-15, there is a significantly less chance of them murdering you and wearing a suit made of your skin as their next creative role-play. Sign up today!
The West Virginia University Beard Club boasts 700 members and has been nationally recognized by the…hey, wait a minute — Janice, when did you shave your beard? These students live in Beard Hall, where it’s always a party and no shower drains are operational at any time. To qualify for beard hall please include a picture of your beard with your student application.
West Virginia University is all about tradition — timeless, annual events like ‘Beat Martin Sheen at Cornhole.” Last year he defeated over six-hundred teams and he didn’t even have a partner. His elbow has been acting up so this might be the year you’ll take him down! Good luck!
There’s nothing like “dorm life!” Relax with friends and talk about your favorite Netflixes and emojos. Like Hunger Games? Hang up a poster! Please remember that if you are going to have three or more persons in a room at any time you’ll be required to have a dorm soldier present.
Your interests are always represented at West Virginia University! From archery to zoology, there’s a group for you to join and make new friends. Here’s the members of WVU’s Invisible Horseback Riding Team trotting around campus. Giddyup, ladies!
No matter how large your residence room is, you’ll want to all gather very closely together in one corner to enjoy popcorn and talk about your favorite bands and music albums. Here are four happy West Virginia Tech students laughing about that great viral internet memo today. Hey, you guys! Where’s your dorm soldier?
Weekends are for letting your hair down and relaxing. Hang out with friends, go to Mountaineers games and yell at foreigners. Go back to Maryland and eat your crab cakes, you ain’t welcome here! Just kidding. But seriously, get out of here crab face.
Attend formals, dances and other great get-togethers at West Virginia University! Maybe you’ll be crowned the next Mr. and Ms. Mountaineer! (pictured: Mr. and Ms. Mountaineer, 2014).
At West Virginia University you’ll be well on your way to a great new life in your chosen field and on graduation day nothing will feel as great as the sense of accomplishment on a great four years and a great degree. Please do not toss your caps into the air as you may kill any number of predatory hawks or falcons circling overhead as our university is located in a mountainous hell of no escape. See you soon at WVU!