Welcome to UCLA! Get ready to experience your education at a top-rated school The Hollywood Reporter recently referred to as “boffo” and Variety once named “the perfect educational vehicle for Emmy Award-winner Tom Skerritt!” It’s time for you to take learning to the next level at the very institution noted film critic Leonard Maltin once called “not laid out great” while teaching an adjunct class!
Hey, guys! Get off the grass! Just kidding. The grass is created by computer generated imagery, or “CGI.” In fact, UCLA is the only university in the nation to be projected entirely onto a green screen, so enjoy the fabulous sites and sounds all around you but don’t wear green or people will be able to see through you.
UCLA is all about the “LA Lifestyle,” which means when you’re not studying hard for a final at Williams Andrew Clark Memorial Library you’re free to explore underneath the many piers of Los Angeles’ beautiful beaches with your post-Britpop space-rock/slowcore fusion band as you shoot possible album liner photos with your Instagram “Lo-Fi” filter!
Just another day on campus? Wrong! In just a few seconds a director will call action and Will Smith’s Galborian Intergalactic Escape Pod will come screaming and crashing down onto the sidewalk as a take in Renny Harlin’s latest sci-fi actioner Solar Justice comes to life before the running cameras. Look for it in July 2016!
Call us! We’ll do lunch! Learn how to network throughout the industry when you enroll in UCLA’s award-winning Entertainment Connections Program and you’ll soon be discussing the latest numbers on that student film while you do cocaine off a samurai sword and text your mistress in Toluca Lake. As Cannonball Run II star Telly Savalas would say, “Who loves ya, baby?” We do! UCLA does!
Get valuable work experience in the television industry with one of UCLA’s prime internships, available by applying at the UCLA Office of Work studies. Here we see a young intern already tasked with the important job of conducting a poll for Entertainment Tonight! And — spoiler alert — only 55% of you love Reese Witherspoon’s new haircut!
Surprise! Dr. Judy Wong of UCLA’s Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital is hiding all over campus, waiting to jump out and scare you! But between you and us, we think she’s doing a lot more “delighting” than “frightening” people these days!
Don’t worry! We don’t know what it is either! And we won’t tell anyone you don’t! Trust us, there’s stuff like this all over campus! That’s what makes UCLA so eclectic — just nod and pretend and your next girlfriend could be a yoga teacher who pretends to enjoy the films of Gael Garcia Bernal!
The dining halls at UCLA are second to none. At any given hour you can meet up with your “amigos” and “fuel up” with some “‘za” as you make plans to head out to studio city and attend a taping of the hit CBS show Mom, starring Allison Janney and Anna Faris. While you’re in the dining hall, keep an eye open and maybe you’ll see Fast Steven. If you do, tell him hello — if you can catch him!
No Katie, the second-to-third act shift has to come when Paul Blart realizes that his overzealousness just cost him his job! Only then can he come to terms with the fact that by foiling the big bank robbery can he gain everyone’s trust back! Workshopping your spec scripts are even easier (and more fun) when you’re doing it with fellow Bruins!
Community garden, right?…don’t worry, we won’t tell! We’re cool!
Many of UCLA’s award-winning professors are ex-industry professionals themselves. For instance, you’re sure to learn a lot from Nine to Five and Slap Maxwell star Dabney Coleman, who runs UCLA’s molecular biology department.
From the day you step foot on UCLA’s campus you’ll be primed and prepared for a valuable career beyond our prestigious classrooms. Enjoy it, have fun, study hard and we can’t wait to see you as “Latino Gangbanger #4” on an episode of NCIS: Los Angeles someday. At UCLA, you’re on your way!