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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Photo Bombing: The University of Louisville

Editor’s note: The number of pictures in this post is causing the site to slow down, so we are moving it off the main page. Apologies!

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Hello, friends. Hey, look! Mistletoe. Get over here, you.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I’m also quite sure I don’t need to tell you that this weekend is a big, big weekend for the Bluegrass in the almighty matchup between the Wildcats and Cardinals. Bragging rights depend on it. I wanted to learn more about this villain who lives among us, so I spent all of my Christmas Day ignoring my family and looking at the Louisville web site. I think I’ve come to a greater understanding of our foes, and I wanted to share this new knowledge — via Louisville University’s Official Photos — with you today. maybe we can all learn to live together. Enjoy, and I’ll see you next week.

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Welcome to the University of Louisville! I hope you brought your oar, because it’s going to be a great four years. Get to know this famous gesture, new Cardinals — it’s the classic “Louisville L,” and it’s a campus tradition not only because you can hold it up to signify your fandom, but you can also stick it in your pocket if you need to pretend to have a gun while holding up a gas station or liquor store. “L” yeah!

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Just look at this camaraderie. These students are taking a break from their studies to nestle themselves into a hole in a rock fence with Louisville native and My Morning Jacket lead singer Jim James. Maybe he’ll sing “I’m Amazed” for them! You never know what the day will bring at U of L!

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Who likes popcorn? There’s plenty of it at this year’s New Students Orientation get-together. Then afterward you can grab a cup of ice cold ginger-ale punch, if you can get Tracy to move her damn dirty feet off the table. Good times are had by all!

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No one knows what young people love like the Louisville Student Activities Department. Rap dancing, text-mailing, the Nintendos — there’s always something fun being planned by these resident experts. If you need them, you can find them huddled together in the stairwell of the Student Activities Center.

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These students are fitfully trying to make sense of this not-Hollister catalogue. Teamwork, guys! Good luck!

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I know what you’re thinking! How nice of these fine students to help one another move into the dorms on Orientation Weekend! Unfortunately, this is a photo of two students stealing a refrigerator from the commons-area kitchen of Miller Hall. Crime can be prevented if we all just keep our eyes open and report anything suspicious, okay?

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Hooray! Pool party, everybody! The spacious, glistening pool at this off-campus, Louisville-affiliated student housing is great for celebrations, vomiting, late night trysts or contracting meningitis. (The chances of your contracting meningitis are statistically very slim.)

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Move-in day! I don’t know if you’ve seen this year’s sophomore class yet, Freshmen, but you’re probably going to need to clean a little before you move in. There are a lot of Olde English 800 stains and weed burns in those rooms. Also, we only recommend installing a blacklight in your new dorm room at your own risk. Seriously.

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It’s a soap-suds party! We told you the Student Activities Department knows what they’re doing! Dance into the wee hours to Molly Cyrus, Two Chain or The Pit Bulls — and you’ll probably never even know these suds are being generated from a highly concentrated amount of lice shampoo. Killing two birds with one stone is what Louisville ingenuity’s all about!

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The holidays on campus are always a blast! From Valentine’s Day dances to St. Patrick’s Day parties, the students of Louisville always know how to make any holiday one to remember. And memories abound, indeed — here we see the late, beloved Professor Gant at this year’s Halloween party just before the unfortunate miscommunication which took his life. We’ll never forget you, Professor Gant! Screen shot 2013-12-26 at 11.22.39 AM

Should you, in fact, contract meningitis, no worries — U of L has you covered with a variety of treatments and health services at your disposal. Feel free to contact health services for the appropriate antibiotics you’ll need to squelch the disease. Go Cards! And L Yeah! 

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

18 Comments for Photo Bombing: The University of Louisville



  1. Nick
    2:13 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Amazing.



  2. Really?
    2:22 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Wow so we diss random pictures of people and make up stories of what’s happening? How Cooooolllllllll are we!!!! I guess everyone in Louisville is inferior and peasants. If they don’t rep BBN they are all lowlifes. Never mind they are also in college, I guess if Harvard was our rival and used random pictures they could call us hicks and slobs. How about we focus on the game instead of dissing everything but what matters. Guess we’re running out of material and have to reach for anything to help fuel our superiority complex. God Bless! Also Karma is a B****



    • Clueless ^
      2:30 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Welcome to the site. Are you new here? If you are offended by this post, this isn’t the place for you.



  3. C.M. Tomlin
    2:25 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    This is an overexaggerated humor column which has been running sporadically as a preview to upcoming games for the past three years as a bit of fun, not something that started today. Cooooooollll?



  4. UKBlue
    2:26 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    You really have to question a person intelligence that wants to be/is a UL fan, attends UL, even more so after making that stupid decision to make their lives even worse living on or near campus. UL campus is there isn’t even a word to describe it. They finally add a few new things like dorms & they think they still aren’t a liberal arts commuter college. They have a huge special taxing district around the campus to help pay for their stuff which makes it an even bigger rip off; UL ripping off their own fans/students with their 3 special taxing districts plus the Yum Center disaster & their fans are happy to be getting ripped off. Places like the football stadium & any new building they do is on top of toxic land. Not to mention, there are some really ugly people that attend UL; it makes it even worse when they throw up the L’s. Since the majority of the UL fan base (line beards) didn’t even attend college, are currently guest at the Jeff County Jail, their campus could look a whole lot worse.



  5. Flabbergasted.
    2:28 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    I feel confident in saying that this is the dumbest post I have ever seen on this site. Most of the quips weren’t even remotely clever, not to mention the fact that a very similar photo to each of these could undoubtedly be found on UK’s website.

    It is one thing to cleverly insult and humiliate little brother, but this is borderline pathetic.

    A good post would have been:

    ‘Twas the day after Christmas,
    And all through Kentucky
    The Cards and the Cats
    Were hoping to be lucky.
    As everyone knew,
    The big game was looming
    Bragging rights on the line
    One fanbase soon to be fuming.
    Cats boasted tales of Young,
    And Willie, the Twins, and Randle.
    While Cards fans said
    That’s nothing our boys can’t handle.
    Slick Rick and Coach Cal,
    Have their digs on their dressers
    Sly quips prepared for their respective
    Pre-game pressers.
    Experience versus talent,
    The story most media proclaimed
    The last two National Champs
    In the year’s biggest game.
    So who shall win,
    This annual struggle of the Bluegrass?
    Big Blue Nation answers with a simple roar,
    “Go Cats!”



    • pantsville'sdairyqueen
      2:45 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Wow!! Next time just type out “I’m a Douche Bag” and save yourself some time.



    • Matt Jones
      2:53 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

      That would have been the worst post in the site’s history



  6. WMW
    2:45 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    As always, well done, Tomlin.
    I can’t decide if the idiot commenters on here are funny/endearing or we’d be better off never having to hear from them again.



  7. UKISSOOOOGREAT
    2:45 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    It’s ok Cards fans. UK fans can believe whatever they want because they are usually never right. They just jump on whatever Matt Jones has to say on the radio or this stupid website. Things like STOOPS TROOPS!!! we will be a lot better this year! Sorry you went 2-10. 40-0!!!! This is the greatest recruiting class in history! Sorry you already have three losses and there’s not many more chances to prove yourself when it comes to almighty sec basketball lol. But I will say as much as I think UK fans are just delusional and annoying, that’s what makes this game special. Happy Holidays!



  8. Matt Jones
    2:52 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Great job Tomlin…loved it



  9. mgcat
    3:04 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Ah, Tomlin never disappoints. Great stuff.

    Unless you have an IQ below 75, which means you probably won’t get it.

    #sophisitcation #gocats



  10. Right!
    3:14 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    The almighty BBN can do no wrong or make a mistake. If they do they just use the sale old quote “wait until next year”. Got the so called greatest recruiting class ever but are already saying wait until next year when we get more over hyped high school players. #UK logic if the players don’t perform, throw them under the bus and wait until next year.



  11. Will
    3:14 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    I still have no idea why an Kentucky High School graduate would choose to attend the University of Louisville. Is the tuition that much lower? Maybe it’s the lower entry testing scores? You just don’t get a true college experience there….



  12. Will
    3:15 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    I still have no idea why a Kentucky High School graduate would choose to attend the University of Louisville. Is the tuition that much lower? Maybe it’s the lower entry testing scores? You just don’t get a true college experience there….



  13. Hilarious
    3:24 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Great post man this was awesome! I have never read a post that was this funny! You a comic genius! I love how you picked apart every picture and really made those tards look like dumb uneducated trash. Good for you brother you helped boost my self-esteem. I’m mean I just a country boy that doesn’t know how dumb U of Smell really is. This made me feel good, it’s always good to down talk the opponent before a game. Hope we don’t lose though, then we jus lost to some bums.



  14. Hilarious
    3:27 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Oops! I saw I messed up on my grammar. I don’t wanna be called a troll because of it, Sorry!



  15. Beard
    3:43 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Can’t poke fun of Jim James..he started writing mmj songs while attending uk.