Tomlin here, and today I’m offering up some praise for this great frontier we call the Internet. I don’t know how much you guys know about it, but I myself recently fired the young Japanese web-developer who manages the technicalities of posting on this website for me and decided to start doing it myself.
What I’ve found is that this “World Wide Web” is amazing! There’s information everywhere you look. Why, just yesterday I learned not only that goldfish have the memory to learn to swim through a maze, but also that there’s apparently a whole world out there of hot housewives who want me to call them.
I’m not the only one discovering these joys — professional athletes, as well, have begun to record their thoughts into blog form. The celebrity blog is a wonderful creature, to be sure, as it allows us inner passage into the minds of our heros. That’s why lately I’ve been scouring the net to find some of the best celebrity athlete blogs available, and why I present excerpts to you today. Please enjoy, then, these clips from some of our greatest sports heros’ personal websites and blogs.
Boston Red Sox
…Winning the World Series the other night was great. I mean, it wasn’t as great as when we did it two years ago, but it was great. And the fans were great. Not as great as two years ago, but still really good. The afterparty was fantastic. I’m not sure that the food was as good as the food at the other World Series afterparty, but it was still delicious. We were all pretty happy — we’ve been happier, two years ago, but yeah, happy…Should I change the color of my do-rag? I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately…”
New England Patriots
…The next time you’re in Philadelphia, I really recommend you stop by the Guava Bay Spa on Roosevelt Street. They’ve got a cocoa bath there that’s to die for. Also, their honeydew face wrap is so invigorating – it’s like diving into a field of honeydews! Ask for Deb, tell her Tom sent you…Did another Vanity Fair photoshoot Tuesday, can you believe they had me in a skinny tie? That’s really so 2002. But the brie fondue was fabulous, so I can’t complain…How much foundation do you guys think is too much for a red carpet movie premiere? Those lights are hot…Hey, we won our football game Sunday…
Blog: Peyton’s Ramblings
…The other day when I was watching my Dish Network Sports Package ($16.99 with DVR upgrade) I was thinking to myself, “I love this new Electric Glacier Gatorade.” Then the Domino’s guy came with my new Oreo Pizza and it was terrific! I wish I could eat an Oreo Pizza in my 2007 Lincoln Navigator. Its wheels really hug the road, but I think I’d better stick with snacking on T.G.I.Friday’s Southwestern Egg Roll poppers, that might be better for driving…Maybe I’ll shoot over to H.H. Gregg’s later to see what deals they have. Kenmore appliances sure are the best, they keep my Hanes undergarments so white — not like Hanes needs any help keeping up their fantastic quality…
Former New York Giant
Blog: The Tiki Lounge
…I always like to tell children that they can achieve whatever they set their minds to. For instance, I never thought I’d be standing in front of Rockefeller Plaza with Meredith Viera, it’s like a dream come true….the other day Al told me this great joke about a dog with three legs, I wish I could remember it. That guy cracks me up!…That Natalie Morales sure is a cutie…Can you believe the trend of obesity in our nation? I learned today about some great tricks women can use to make themselves look slimmer…It’s really time for everyone to start “going green!”…Who knew Olive Oil could help your casseroles from clumping when you scoop them?…I tell you, it’s been an amazing ride…
Coach, Auburn Tigers Football
Blog: The Tuberville Times
…Got the new My Chemical Romance album. It truly speaks to me. I live my life in the abyss, with no hope of recompense, demons swirling, empowering me. The darkness encroaches. I embrace it. The horned lord is coming, and those who can learn to accept the suffering into their souls will thrive…I am here. You are there. There is nothing between us but the empty void, filled with claws and fangs, freeing us from our corporate lives. Someday we will all dine together on the feast of flesh on the mountain of bones…Fall Out Boy rules.
Blog: Ron’s Joynt
…I was telling Paul Wolfowitz the other day that an assymetrical war isn’t the answer. If military capacity can’t protect us, we are vulnerable…Our genetic codes are changing at an alarming rate, with higher concentrations of CO2 and slower metabolism…If we could figure out an efficient way to convert coal to methane, we could provide more natural gas and turn less toward those solutions decaying our world…Wally Sczcerbiak better step off before I punch him in his face.
So there you go, folks. Who knew athletes could be so interesting? I didn’t. I think we all learned something today. So until next week, friends, enjoy the following informational film.
That is all.