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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Number Party: SEC Edition

Teams in the SEC: 12

Teams in the SEC we’re not counting until it’s “for real:” 2

Players on Vanderbilt’s roster whose first name begins with “J”: 5.5 (Dai-Jon Parker)

Current University of Kentucky players from Kentucky: 4

Current players for other SEC teams from Kentucky: 3

Percentage of South Carolina players who are from North Carolina: 38.4

Percentage of LSU players who are from Utah: 7.6

Latvians and/or Belgians on SEC teams: 2

Feature films in which actor Jeff Daniels has starred: 67

Feature films in which Arkansas Director of Basketball Operations Jeff Daniels has starred: 0

Tacos eaten by Kevin Stallings last night while he watched A Charlie Brown Christmas: 19

People who still think “Geaux Tigers!” is clever: 0

Times apiece this season in which Auburn plays Paine College, Victory University and Nicholis State: 1

Number of the above teams which it is widely believed that Auburn made up and don’t really exist: 3

Alabama fans who say “supposably”: 232,432

SEC-member teams coached by Billy Gillispie: 1 (2011), 2 (2012)

Inches between one side of the part in Rick Stansbury’s hair and the other 1.8

Years it feels like Renardo Sidney has been playing college basketball: 9

Times the song “Rocky Top” is played at an average Tennessee basketball game: 37

Times one can hear “Rocky Top” repeatedly before thinking “this is getting to be a little much”: 6

Number of Kentucky Assistant Coaches whose first and last names are both places: 1 (Orlando Antigua)

Ole Miss Players whose first or last names are definitely adjectives: 3 (“White,” “Short,” “Shorter”)

Ole Miss Players whose first or last names might be adjectives?: 1 (“Dundrecous”)

Times the average fan shouts “Go Hogs” at the Arkansas Men’s Basketball Team per game: 19

Times the average fan shouts “Go Hogs” at the Arkansas Dance Team per game: 12

Hand-made “SPORTSCENTER IS NEXT!” signs which will go to waste at Auburn Arena: 26

Jenny: 867-5309

Oceans: 11

UB: 40

University of Kentucky SEC Championships before 2011-12: 27

University of Kentucky SEC Championships after 2011-12 (estimated): 28

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

23 Comments for Number Party: SEC Edition



  1. GoCats2
    1:05 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    supposably, Go Hogs, and 867-5309 all made me laugh out loud in the office.



  2. wilDCat
    1:08 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    I lol’d thoroughly at this list. I approve.



  3. mason co high school student
    1:13 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    very funny…jenny’s was funny, and supposably.



  4. James
    1:14 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    4th. 502 for loozers



  5. Al's IndiCats
    1:14 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Funny as all get out Tomlin.

    But you did forget ONE important thing though. How many times will the UT Pep band play Rocky top at Knoxville when UT scores a basket…..15 at best!.



  6. GoCats3
    1:41 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Well done.
    How many Scholarship players UK’s basketball team next year? Not knowable.



  7. Bunsen honeydew
    1:46 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    In regards to this post, I’ve got a coworker who says supposably all the time. Hopefully, a gift card to the vocabulary builder upper seminar will come to premonition….



  8. RidgeRunner
    1:53 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Nice Tomlin! Nice…



  9. Blue Daisey
    1:53 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Dumb posts: infinite



  10. derp my perp
    1:56 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Supposably is a word.



  11. theWilkman
    1:59 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    “Ole Miss Players whose first or last names might be adjectives?: 1 (”Dundrecous”)”

    Hilarious



  12. RidgeRunner
    1:59 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Commenter with least amount of understanding, comprehension, sense of humor, & open mindness between commenter 1 and 10………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….9



  13. GapToothDanny
    2:00 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Athletic contests which could actually be “life and death struggle”: 1
    Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science vs Life University of Marieta Georgia.
    GTD



  14. RidgeRunner
    2:02 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    13…sorry –this will increae to 2 if when UC gets Yancy Gates back from suspension.



  15. Lincoln park
    2:04 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Hilarious. But just saying ‘Rocky Top’ wears me out. Gotta’ lower that #.



  16. Kenny Powers
    2:16 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Tomlin, this may be your best post



  17. racerj5
    2:32 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Went to a few games in Thompson-Boling. Every time,I ask myself, “Is this the only song they know?”
    Number of Elite 8 banners in TBA-1
    Jodie Meeks in TBA-54
    Times I can stand to hear Rocky Top again-0



  18. peacefrog5
    2:51 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Number of Tommy Tone= 2



  19. ZombieLibrarian
    3:47 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    I’m glad Tomlin is back and contributing more. His snark is just my speed.



  20. GPotter
    3:52 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    Number of times I just pee’d my britches: 31
    Well done!



  21. nolablue
    4:34 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    By the way? No one in Louisiana cares if anyone in Kentucky thinks “GEAUX TIGERS!” is clever or not.
    Just like how no one in Lousiana knows or cares about Burgoo, and just like how Kentucky doesn’t need
    to storm the floor, because no game is ever going to be that ridiculously important to Kentucky. Not hatin,
    ‘ just sayin’. When Kentucky wins the BCS, then somebody in LA might pay attention to anyone ANYWHERE
    not thinking “GEAUX” isn’t clever, especially in relation to their beloved Tigers.

    And, since UK will win the Final Four Championship in New Orleans, y’all would do well to leave
    dem Tigers fans alone. Plenty of ’em wait all year to watch KY hoops in Baton Rouge.
    That said… GEAUX BIG BLUE!!!!!



  22. iamthebobcat
    6:03 pm December 16, 2011 Permalink

    BR – 549



  23. mathew
    10:43 am December 17, 2011 Permalink

    lolllllllllllllllllllllll