Let me tell you about this great new thing called “the internet.” It really is quite remarkable, with all its words and information. Furthermore, there’s a part of the internet known as “Twitter,” and what this “Twitter” does is allow people to fashion, format and release to the world their innermost thoughts and feelings. I am certain that I am currently informing you of this for the first time.
Obviously, there has been a lot of talk on KSR about Twitter and tweeting, as our own beloved Coach Calipari is himself a bit of a tweeting enthusiast. KSR helmer Matt Jones is also quite a tweeter, as are my fellow cohorts Thomas Beisner and Dustin Rumbaugh. In times past, if you wanted your friends to know what you were thinking, you had to pick up a telephone and call them or write them a letter, which was confusing because you had unlimited words and word combinations to use — it was stressful to choose the right ones. With twitter, however, you’re able to broadcast your life in brief, 140-character bursts. And as such, it’s a great way of boiling down someone’s personality by their subtle tweeting nuances.
Coach Calipari isn’t the only tweeter out there who’s getting ‘er done, as it were. Today the NTKW crack team has sought out other famed NCAA coaches for brief analyses. Enjoy, then, the world of actual coaching tweets.
Coach: Paul Wulff, Football (@CoachWulff)
College: Washington State University
“First day of classes!”
“Happy Cinco de Mayo!”
“The team is participating in today’s lentil fest parade!”
Analysis: Paul Wulff is excited — often — as denoted by his frequent exclamation points. He also appears to get excited about unique things, like lentil festivals. It should be noted that Wulff tweeted about Cinco de Mayo, but not the Fourth of July, which should make us all question where his loyalties lie.
Coach: Mark Richt, Football (@MarkRicht)
School: University of Georgia
“The team is taking their annual head shots for the media guide. They’re all well groomed!”
“Tonight we have a Bulldog Club meeting in Macon at the Walnut Creek Shooting Preserve.”
“Happy Mothers’ Day!”
Analysis: If there are two things coach Mark Richt loves, it’s his mother and personal hygiene, although I’m a little concerned about the team taking “head shots” rather than “headshots.” I hope their well-groomed skulls are okay. Finally, someone might want to look into the Walnut Creek “Shooting Preserve.” I wondered why Coach Richt tried to sell me a panda steak last week.
Coach: Jeff Capel, Basketball (@jeffcapel)
School: University of Oklahoma
“Ice Cube is one of the most slept on and underappreciated lyricist.”
“Are there any movies that make you cry, and what are they?”
“Mine: Jay Z-reasonable doubt. Big-ready to die. Dre-The chronic. Nas-illmatic. 2pac-all eyez on me. A lot 2 choose from tho! Hip hop baby!!”
Analysis: Jeff Capel isn’t just your head coach, he’s the guy who’ll hang out in your dorm room and crunk it out after a game. Most of his tweets focus on rap music, with a rare exception like his inquiry into what makes you cry. And he takes losing recruits well; one tweet has Capel hypothesizing that when life gives you lemons, make “lemondade.” I’d have lemondade with Capel any time.
Coach: Doc Sadler, Basketball (@Coach_Sadler)
School: University of Nebraska
“Food for the day fried peach on a stick add a little pineapple cream with it. Wow!!!!!”
“There are no good peaches in Las Vegas”
“The NCAA enforcement staff ate all the peaches at peach jam”
Analysis: Loves peaches.
Coach: Eric Reveno, Basketball (@CoachReveno)
School: University of Portland
“Going to be a great day. Saw a double rainbow, not the ice cream shop, on the way to morning workouts.”
“Driving to 2nd to last game. Carmex melted in car. Spilled it on my shorts. Not a good look. Keep pushing.”
“Thank you to the manager at the Auckland Pak ‘n Save for letting me use the phone up front for a recruiting call.”
Analysis: Portland Pilots coach Reveno seems like a lovable character from a movie who keeps seeing past frustrating situations to the silver lining. Sure, he may have carmex all over him, but that rainbow means the best! And quick thinking in a New Zealand supermarket is both smart and resourceful. Now that’s making lemons into lemondade!
There you go, folks. The wild world of coaching tweets. I’ll see if I can dig up some more if you’re interested. In the meantime, I’ll let you get back to your fried peach on a stick. You know, you really should try a little pineapple cream with that. Until next week, friends. That is all.