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Need-to-Know Wednesday Practices a Little Rumor Control

secrets

Hello, friends. I hope you’re well, and happy 2012! It’s great to see you today and trust your new year was fantastic. But between us, it’s January 4 – you can probably stop dressing like a grown baby now, but I applaud your holiday spirit. I’m just saying, you know?

Sometimes, friends, rumors get out of hand. Like certain contemporaries of Patrick Patterson’s committing to UK, or perhaps that Adolph Rupp’s body is cryogenically frozen and is tended to in a sub-basement of Kennedy Book Store. Some of these rumors are simply that: rumors. But some have some truth to them. So how do we know which rumors to dismiss and which to take seriously? You let your old friend Tomlin help you out with a little bit of Rumor Control. I hope this helps, and have a great Wednesday.

——-

The Rumor: Highly-ranked recruit Shabazz Muhammad will stay in his hometown of Las Vegas and play ball at UNLV.

Status: Undetermined. Though many are speculating that Muhammad is leaning toward being a Runnin’ Rebel, he continues to confound guessers by continuing to show interest in a number of top programs, among them UK, UCLA, Duke and USC — and once included Kansas and Arizona on that list as well. At this time, no one can tell if Muhammad will leave Sin City for greener pastures or stick around for his assumed single year of college play.

——–

The Rumor: Former UK center Demarcus Cousins demanded a trade from Sacramento Kings administration.

Status: True or False, depending on who you ask. After relieving Cousins of duties against the Hornets on Sunday, Kings coach Paul Westphal maintains that Cousins requested a trade. Cousins then released a statement on Monday declaring that he in no way issued the reported request. Kings owner Geoff Petrie allegedly met with Cousins and his management Monday night to discuss how the UK alum can best serve the team going forward, but no definitive proof has been offered either way as to the allegations.

——–

The Rumor: New details emerging in Rupp Arena’s revamping project suggest that corporate money could dictate the new facility’s name.

Status: True. As Lexington city officials and UK authorities discuss possible solutions for renovating or rebuilding the Wildcat’s home base, it seems very likely that a sparkly new entertainment district in the downtown area would also include a renaming of the Rupp area to feature a corporate sponsorship. Current frontrunners for the new name include “Orange Leaf Indoor Stadium,” “Chinoe Pub Arena,” “Kentucky After Dark Pavilion” and the retro favorite “Ed & Fred’s Desert Moon.”

———

The Rumor: Jay-Z is a UK fan.

Status: True. Mr. Z did sit on the front row of the UK-UL game this Saturday and was rumored to visit the locker room after the game. Plus several lyrics from his latest album Watch the Throne with Kanye West pointed to the fact that he’s a Wildcats fan, as may possibly be indicated in this deleted portion of the song “Who Gon’ Stop Me:”

Watchin’ hustla T-Jones
While I’m eatin’ Southwest Chicken Egg Rolls at an ESPN Zone
Breakin’ a hundred, blue lights like Kmart
Getting free windshield wiper fluid from O’Reilly Auto Parts
I’m the full-time Y I get mine like Harrellson
You come to me I’ll hit you with both barrels, son
Doron three goggles straight up like a B-boy
While Coach Cal workin’ findin’ a role for Eloy

——–

The Rumor: Louisville no longer exists.

Status: False. Though the slogan swept through the Bluegrass this weekend and helped propel the Wildcats to a victory over the Cardinals, it should be noted that the rally cry should not be taken literally and we have been contacted by several of the city’s institutions, including Louisville Gas & Electric, that the city does exist and UK fans living in Louisville are still expected to pay their issued bills for December and January or risk termination of service.

——-

The Rumor: Notable UK Alum Ashley Judd and pal Morgan Freeman are slated to play Sandy Bell and Tubby Smith in an upcoming biopic on UK athletics in the 2000’s.

Status: True. The thriller Rules of Compliance, which focuses on an administrator and a basketball coach fleeing Russian agents who believe they are in possession of evidence which links the Kremlin to a series of Bolivian political assassinations, is filming now at Warner Brothers. Also attached to star is Nick Nolte as young NCAA phenom Billy Gillispie. It is slated for release in summer 2013 in time to take on I Only Cry When It Hurts: The Roy Williams Story (Paramount).

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

26 Comments for Need-to-Know Wednesday Practices a Little Rumor Control



  1. josh
    12:20 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    All I know is that we had better figure things out on the court (Jones= no confidence, Teague= not playing like a pt. guard, Teague=half as$ing it, Wiltjer= soft and scared). I felt like I wasted my money watching them play at Freedom Hall. Also, can we run some plays other than lower your shoulder and drive to hole?



  2. GoCats3
    12:27 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Brilliant!



  3. yeah first
    12:28 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Probably one of the worst posts ever. How was any of that rumors or answers to rumors?? Heard all the “rumors”= speculation and all the answers given by all news sources. What the hell was this?? I was blind sided!!!! I will never get that time back!!!! You need a punch in the throat!



  4. over the hills and far away
    12:29 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    #1 Agreed. This team is not improving at all.



  5. Thomas Beisner
    12:35 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    SPOILER ALERT: Scott Rigot (played by Bradley Whitford) is actual a double-agent working for the Russians. In case his recruiting abilities didn’t tip you off.



  6. Al's IndiCats
    12:41 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    I thought Clyde had a gig on the Moonshinners!



  7. bigcuzzz
    12:46 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    3) you’re stupid. This was and is supposed to a humorous post.



  8. A rational fan
    12:52 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Holy crap! Don’t ever, ever, *EVER* — again mention Ashley Judd playing Sandy Bell. The hockey poster just flashed in my brain and… oh my God…



  9. yeah first
    12:52 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    @ 7 No sh!t!!! you rack. Hence the blind sided comment I made. I was looking for an answer to a rumor I had heard when I read it. I momentarily forgot that KSR is a comedy site. You poooffer..



  10. Jacob
    1:02 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    What is wrong with you all? We have one bad game and everybody hates on them. Do you ever think that they might have a little hangover from the Louisville game. You guys that call your selfs fans that say this crap need to shut up and watch basketball, I still believe that they will win #8



  11. McGhee
    1:03 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    g-g-g-gay.



  12. AnthonyDavis
    1:08 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Shut Up



  13. strange brew
    1:12 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    #1 and #4 are fake fans. If you dislike UK that much, become a Uofl fan.



  14. Jacob
    1:27 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    1 shut up



  15. Jacob
    1:27 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Thank you 13



  16. BCinVA
    1:31 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Didn’t DeMarcus demand that Paul Westphal be traded?



  17. O'Reilly Auto CEO
    1:43 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Mo Duncan, CEO O’Reilly Auto
    3421 Studebaker Ave.
    Springfield, MO 65802

    Attn: Chris Tomlin, KSR

    Dear Mr. Tomlin,

    There will no free windshield wiper fluid in Louisville, KY. since our outlets have mysteriously disappeared along with our employees, their cars, pets, their families, and homes. Reports are that city no longer exists. So absolutely no wiper fluid will be available from O’Reilly Louisville — but our Shelbyville outlet is A-Okay, business is booming with people who can’t believe their eyes that Louisville has disappeared, and blame it on a dirty windshield. But there’s still plenty in stock at our Shelbyville location. If you need wiper fluid and are in that area, Mr. Tomlin, please tell them Mo sent ya and you will receive two jugs at no charge for your trouble, and fine advertising of our company on this KSR. When a city is built along the Ohio River in the location formerly known as Louisville, and we are up and running, I will drop you a letter and coupon for new wipers. Until then.

    Best regards,

    Mo Duncan



  18. Common Sense
    1:48 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    #1, its called the dribble drive offense…it works better than what you run over there at little brother…



  19. Jubrho
    1:50 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    #8 – Sandy Bell wouldn’t look half bad in the next hockey poster – She looked alright in these fatigues: http://www.bigbluecats.com/kentuckys-sandy-bell-defender-of-the-faith/



  20. GoBlue
    2:03 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    I’m probably one of 8 people reading this blog who remembers Ed & Fred’s Desert Moon. That place was good.



  21. World's Greatest AD
    2:08 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    I’m hearing the “Joe Bologna Arena” is a done deal.



  22. KidCody
    2:21 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    We’re going to change Rupp to one name and one name only:
    (Friends of Coal) Funky Coal Arena.



  23. Me
    2:35 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Not Morgan Freeman. Just find the lazy-est black dude in Hollywood (doesn’t even need to be a real actor) to play Tubbs. I mean, come one, Tubbs didn’t even know his lines – lots of jibberish coming outa him. Plus there is just one ‘look’ the actor would need… THE BUG EYES (with arms outstretched to the sides).



  24. CatinNOLA
    3:23 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    HAHAHA Chinoe Pub Arena…

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Hugh Jass Burgers bought it up and killed it just like Tolly Ho!



  25. Catlanta
    5:32 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    There’s only one name change to Rupp Arena I would approve of. Boone’s Butcher Shop Arena.



  26. Wouldlovetlo
    6:49 pm January 4, 2012 Permalink

    Really the names that they are wanting to change the historic RUPP ARENA to? They can’t be serious orange leaf? Ok If we were syracuse. And Ed and Fred’s desert moon what the #%%#? I really don’t know what to say when ppl talk about changing the name of RUPP arena. Just leaves me lost for words. The only one I might settle for would be Kentucky after dark pavilion.