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Need-to-Know Wednesday Bids Lane Kiffin a Fond Farewell

As class-act, awesome person and total non-douchebag Lane Kiffin prepares to depart from the University of Tennessee for the sunshine of USC, assumedly taking several assistants along with him in a Beverly Hillbillies-style flatbed pickup truck, we’re left to reflect on the magical year we had with him across the table. True, it always left me a little tingly knowing Layla was but one state away, but it’s probably for the best that Kiffin (or “The Kiffster” as he’s probably known in Southern California) head back west. I mean, there are several reasons why he’s probably a better fit out there anyway:

-A salon specializing in highlights on every corner

-Visors are considered “business casual”

-Layla Kiffin already inked “Real Housewives of Orange County” Deal

-USC sweetened the deal with a tanning bed and all available seasons of Entourage on DVD

-Hanging out on Venice Beach makes his crazy talk less noticeable

-Hard to get good oolong tea in Knoxville

-Fax machines way more reliable

-Almost all hats there are earflapless

-Better dog spas than in Tennessee

-Unlimited Crocs

We bid you adieu, Lane, and hope you enjoyed your time in the Volunteer state. We also hope not to see you again for a very, very long time.

A short n’ sweet NTK for you today, friends, so let me make it up to you with the following sketch from the Barkley-helmed SNL last Saturday. Sure, he was a turrible, turrible actor, but some of the sketches were kinda fun. Case in point below. Until next week, mon freres.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin