Hello, friends. I certainly hope you’re well. Nice weather we’re having, no? Did you catch the baseball game last night? Are you enjoying the beginnings of autumn? How is your family doing? Alright, turn your head and cough. Excellent. Everything seems okay, you should come back and see me again in six months for another check-up.
Friends, from time to time we here at KSR take our position (and by position, I mean “we have a web site) very seriously, and as much fun as we like to have from time to time, we also like to be able to perform a social service as well. Many of you are out there seeking love and companionship, no doubt, and sometimes those moments can be fast and fleeting. If one doesn’t take advantage, it could be lost forever. That’s why today we’d like to premiere a new feature here called Missed Connections, which will allow our readership to attempt to reclaim those lost moments. We hope it will help, feel free to send in your own and, as always, have a wonderful weekend, everybody.
To the blonde in UK t-shirt, Kent State Tailgate, September 8. You: passed out in the UK Arboretum with pizza on your face. Me: urinating on a liriodendron tulipifera. I smiled at you, but you probably don’t remember or didn’t see. Let’s “branch” out together! #SoCoLime74
Be my “boo.” I think I’m in love. Couldn’t get enough of you on Wednesday night. We had a great conversation even though it was loud. You said you have three children, you love Louisville football too and you’d just recently had appendix surgery. You even showed me your scar (it was adorable). I didn’t get your name because the song ended and the bouncer said I had to leave the couch area. Call me 555-213-4521. #LovelornCard
Keeneland, April 25. We made eye contact in the paddock area. You were wearing a tight-fitting suit with aviator sunglasses and bragging about how you have an uncle who works in the horse industry who give you tips, I was hungover from a fraternity blacklight party and wearing a giant hat. Didn’t catch your name because I was texting and you were quoting Workaholics. Let’s get together and disappoint one another. #UKGirl99
Double the magic. Saw you at the AAU Tourney in July. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. If you feel like scoring, come see me. I’m really into twins. #TerpCoach1113
Auburn Freshman Ice Cream Social, July 25. You were wearing a green dress and had brown eyes. I was wearing a tank top and told you I was the new Auburn quarterback. Things have changed. How do you feel about long-distance relationships? #ThePikester2012
Twitter, August 3. I have been thinking about you a lot since last weekend. A whole lot. How are you doing? Give me a ring at my cell-phone 555-343-8456. If it’s after six and someone else answers, deepen your voice and say you’re Devin Davis Jr. #PeachesandCrean33
To the brunette in the blue shirt at O’Malley’s Pub, Aug. 23. Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, can you pick me up at the Mayo Clinic sometime between one and three o’clock on Sunday? They say I can’t drive myself home. 555-997-6435. #Scotchmonster69