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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

KSR Presents: Missed Connections

 

Hello, friends. I certainly hope you’re well. Nice weather we’re having, no? Did you catch the baseball game last night? Are you enjoying the beginnings of autumn? How is your family doing? Alright, turn your head and cough. Excellent. Everything seems okay, you should come back and see me again in six months for another check-up.

Friends, from time to time we here at KSR take our position (and by position, I mean “we have a web site) very seriously, and as much fun as we like to have from time to time, we also like to be able to perform a social service as well. Many of you are out there seeking love and companionship, no doubt, and sometimes those moments can be fast and fleeting. If one doesn’t take advantage, it could be lost forever. That’s why today we’d like to premiere a new feature here called Missed Connections, which will allow our readership to attempt to reclaim those lost moments. We hope it will help, feel free to send in your own and, as always, have a wonderful weekend, everybody.

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To the blonde in UK t-shirt, Kent State Tailgate, September 8. You: passed out in the UK Arboretum with pizza on your face. Me: urinating on a liriodendron tulipifera. I smiled at you, but you probably don’t remember or didn’t see. Let’s “branch” out together! #SoCoLime74

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Be my “boo.” I think I’m in love. Couldn’t get enough of you on Wednesday night. We had a great conversation even though it was loud. You said you have three children, you love Louisville football too and you’d just recently had appendix surgery. You even showed me your scar (it was adorable). I didn’t get your name because the song ended and the bouncer said I had to leave the couch area. Call me 555-213-4521. #LovelornCard

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Keeneland, April 25. We made eye contact in the paddock area. You were wearing a tight-fitting suit with aviator sunglasses and bragging about how you have an uncle who works in the horse industry who give you tips, I was hungover from a fraternity blacklight party and wearing a giant hat. Didn’t catch your name because I was texting and you were quoting Workaholics. Let’s get together and disappoint one another. #UKGirl99

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Double the magic. Saw you at the AAU Tourney in July. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. If you feel like scoring, come see me. I’m really into twins. #TerpCoach1113

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Auburn Freshman Ice Cream Social, July 25. You were wearing a green dress and had brown eyes. I was wearing a tank top and told you I was the new Auburn quarterback. Things have changed. How do you feel about long-distance relationships? #ThePikester2012

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Twitter, August 3. I have been thinking about you a lot since last weekend. A whole lot. How are you doing? Give me a ring at my cell-phone 555-343-8456. If it’s after six and someone else answers, deepen your voice and say you’re Devin Davis Jr. #PeachesandCrean33

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To the brunette in the blue shirt at O’Malley’s Pub, Aug. 23. Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, can you pick me up at the Mayo Clinic sometime between one and three o’clock on Sunday? They say I can’t drive myself home. 555-997-6435. #Scotchmonster69

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

10 Comments for KSR Presents: Missed Connections



  1. Rockfield, KY
    1:07 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    One of the funniest things you’ve ever posted on here. And that’s saying a lot.



  2. theWilkman
    1:07 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    That’s gold, Tomlin. Gold!



  3. Randy Marsh
    1:10 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    HILARIOUS post. I love the Keeneland, April, 25th. Everything about it, especially, “Let’s get together and disappoint one another..” priceless. Also, PeachesandCrean is gold.



  4. LexingtonviaBowlingGreen
    1:12 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    This is amazing. Well done sir, well done.



  5. #scotchmonster69
    1:15 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    And this, my friends, is how it is done. Well done Tomlin.



  6. kablooey
    1:22 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    PG Harrow Mays (polson)
    SG Goodwin Hood (malone and long)
    SF Poythress Beckham
    PF Wiltjer…Poythress
    C Noel Cauley

    The pictures im seeing of Twany right now seem very promising, so much so that Im hoping we can use him in game situation as starting small forward to use Poythress as a big 4 and leave Kyle, Buckets 2.0, to come off the bench same as Cauley and Mays. If this is to work though, well need Hood to be capable to stepping into the 2 or the 3 to give quality rest minutes. But stop..look at that roster..and tell me you dont feel confident about another championship..just saying.



  7. kablooey
    1:24 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    A team where every player is utilized is guarenteed chemistry, and Cal knows chemistry is everything (especially when talent is beyond questioning)



  8. mattius00
    1:35 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    liriodendron tulipifera should have a capital L and it should be italicized or underlined.



  9. catsfan33
    4:03 pm September 14, 2012 Permalink

    my roommate and I have a ritual every Sunday of getting on Craigslist and laughing hysterically at missed connections and casual encounters. I must say your rendition is spot on Mr. Tomlin.



  10. 1catfan
    2:42 pm September 16, 2012 Permalink

    Great stuff!