Hello, friends. I hope you had a phenomenal Christmas. Oh, is that leftover mistletoe I see above us? Well then, you know what’s coming, don’t you? That’s right, I’m going to need to get a ladder and take that down because I must have forgotten it when I was cleaning up the KSR decorations. Sorry.
Friends, with our not-so-gentle offing of the Eagles last night, our non-conference play was put to bed and now we can focus on bigger prizes — another SEC championship. Next week we begin our conference schedule with the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores, which got me to wondering why we don’t consider that a bigger rivalry than we do. After all, they certainly seem to have our number from time to time, and they’re rarely a true pushover. Plus, I was looking over their website a little. So I thought it might be fun, to kick this next week off right, to stoke the rivalry a week early in a piece we’ll call Instant Hate Day: Vanderbilt, just to get our blood flowing for our first SEC opponents. I suggest that over the next many days we grow our hatred of Vandy to maximum levels, what do you say? Okay! Let’s do it! And I’ll see you here again next week.
Welcome to Vanderbilt University! These students have gathered together to make the traditional Vanderbilt star logoâ„¢, which you can see has delighted the throngs gathered around to observe the festivities. If you look closely, you can see one student body-slamming another (common in Tennessee) and one student Tebowing (common a year and a half ago). Oh, it does look like such fun. This is the kind of rollicking tomfoolery you’ll become accustomed to as a Vanderbilt student, and it’s mandatory three mornings a week at 7:00 am sharp.
Student life! Hooray! These students are partying hard to blow off some steam after a particularly grueling midterm. The blonde girl couldn’t be bothered to stand up, because she clearly doesn’t feel as strongly about ending oil subsidies as her comrades. Calm down, you guys! You’re having way too much fun over there!
Need to relax? The Sarratt Student Center is just what the doctor ordered. There’s a bench for every person, or — if you’d rather — you can all sit on the same bench. It’s this closeness that bonds the students of Vanderbilt together. Watch your hands, girl in the pink sweater! We’ve got our eyes on you!
Hey ladies! Watch out for chiggers! Just kidding. (Though, seriously, watch out for chiggers.) These happy students are talking about shopping and makeup early in the morning, and one of them is clearly being cheeky. The girl in the plaid shirt can’t believe what she just said about her favorite artist, Taylor Swift! Hands off, she seems to be saying, Harry from One Direction is mine! Good times like this are what Vanderbilt’s all about.
These joyful science students have built a Vandy-themed rocketship with which to fire their virginities into space and have them preserved forever! This sort of forward-thinking progress is what Vanderbilt students pride themselves upon. Be a part of the future at Vanderbilt!
Say hello to “Mr. Commodore!” Or, as he should probably be more appropriately named, “Commodore Commodore,” since Commodore is a title. At Vanderbilt you’ll see a lot of Mr. Commodore, a character born from Hungarian folk tales who lives inside your nightmares and eats children who don’t tie their shoes. Mind your P’s and Q’s and you’ll stay on his good side!
Vanderbilt has a rich basketball tradition, and no tradition is more prevalent and revered than, after a win, mashing up a Ho-Ho in a towel and giving it to head coach Kevin Stallings. Watch him go!
These nursing students are taking a break from their classes at Godchaux Hall to enjoy each other’s company. Whether you want to meticulously stack books or just enjoy a cup of coffee, Vanderbilt is all about your comfort. Remember, no direct eye contact!
Whatever your interests, you’ll find your place at Vanderbilt University in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee! Come tour the campus and enjoy all Vandy has to offer. Just please don’t accidentally step off the court at Memorial Coliseum or you might break your neck and die. Start living your future today!