Hello, friends. You look well today. I like your hat. That’s a nice scarf, too. Your nose looks different, is that..wait, is that a carrot? Oh you tricked me! That’s a SNOWMAN. Good one.
Friends, will these Cats pull it together in time to win a championship? Enough of this lackluster-first-half-tomfoolery, am I right? The Wildcats, as you well know, will host the Georgia Bulldogs on Saturday in Rupp — but what might surprise you is that the Bulldogs are actually playing much better basketball right now than the normally non-contender Georgia Bulldogs basketball teams of the past. They even beat Arkansas at Fayetteville, something our own boys couldn’t do. So that’s something. What else do we know about Georgia? Let’s find out today in a KSR Quiz we’ll call How Much Do You Know About Georgia where we’ll look at the state, the campus and the basketball program. Get your pencils out, remember to fill in the bubble completely, and when you’re finished just put your head down on your desk. Sound good? Let’s go.
1. Check all that apply:
a.) I live in Georgia.
b.) I do not live in Georgia.
c.) I have driven through Georgia.
d.) I have an aunt named Georgia.
e.) I am a sassy male hairdresser with a recurring role on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
f.) I am currently protecting fellow Georgians from zombies inside an abandoned prison.
g.) I had a particularly unsettling time while whitewater rafting in Georgia in 1972 with my friend Burt Reynolds.
2. Georgia’s chief exports include:
a.) Transportation equipment.
b.) Computer and electronic parts.
d.) “Truck Balls.”
e.) Exaggerated Confidence.
f.) All of the above.
4. The mascot of the University of Georgia is:
a.) A bulldog.
b.) A bloody deer head.
c.) The cartoon character Calvin urinating onto the logo of another university.
d.) A warm, half-consumed can of Keystone Light.
3.) The Fightin’ Rebecca Latimer Feltons.
5. The head coach of Georgia’s men’s basketball team is:
a.) Mark Fox.
b.) Michael J. Fox.
c.) Erwin Rommel, the “Desert Fox.”
6. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is:
a.) A current player for the Georgia Bulldogs.
b.) An NBA basketball player who played for the Georgia Bulldogs last year.
c.) A character in Dr. Seuss’ 1964 book Too Many Hats!
d.) Rick Pitino’s safe word.
7. The Georgia Bulldogs play basketball in:
a.) Stegeman Coliseum.
b.) Weinstein Arena.
c.) The Chang Center.
d.) Jerry Reed Memorial Gymnasium.
8. Which is of the following is the actual and most accurate name of a current Georgia basketball player?
d.) Kenny Paul Geno.
UGA’s mascot “Hairy Dawg,” is:
a.) One of Forbes Magazine’s “Top Ten Sports Mascots.”
b.) A self-appointed “Stadium Defender” during football games.
c.) An auxiliary mascot to “Uga,” a live bulldog.
d.) Peeking through your windows when your girlfriend gets undressed.
e.) All of the above.
10. Whenever Georgia wins a big game:
a.) Their fans rush the court.
b.) Athens’ Walgreens mysteriously run out of Robitussin DM.
c.) Ray Stevens plays a free concert at the UGA student center.
d.) It’s Truck Balls time.
11. The biggest threat to worry about with Georgia is:
a.) The recent emergence of forward Marcus Thornton as a leader.
b.) Mark Fox’s comfort with a previously-unstable starting lineup.
c.) An increased sense of morale and camaraderie within the Bulldog team.
d.) Hairy Dawg peeking at your naked, unwitting girlfriend.
Go Cats. See you next week, gang.