Hello, friends. I trust you’re well. Did you ever take care of that thing? No, not that thing, the other thing. The one you mentioned. Yes, that one. Good. I still can’t believe what happened with that thing. I’m glad that all of it is resolved now. Things like that are no fun. No fun at all. And I can’t believe that person, either. Crazy times, crazy times.
Friends, as we all sit back and wait for football to make us angry enough to forget about the months before basketball, we’ve lately been privy to a new faction growing within the 2012-13 Wildcat basketball team. I am, of course, referring to “The Goonies,” that plucky cadre consisting of Kyle Wiltjer, Willie Cauley-Stein and Jarrod Polson. The Goonies certainly seem to be taking Lexington by storm, to be sure. You never know where they might turn up. But what you also may not know is that “The Goonies” are not the first pop-culture-referencing group in Wildcat history. Oh, no. There have been several. This was all before hashtags, mind you, so you probably just didn’t realize it. Today, then, we present to you a piece entitled Other Former Wildcat Posses for your reading enjoyment. And as always, have a fantastic weekend.
Members: Kyle Wiltjer, Willie Cauley-Stein, Jarrod Polson
Description: Based upon the title characters from the 1985 Richard Donner-Steven Spielberg film , the trio of Wiltjer, Cauley-Stein and Polson spends its off-season time constructing elaborate raps in a parked automobile, dancing with random strangers in parking lots and scouring Wal-Mart for new uniforms. The name is fitting, as you are likely well-aware by now that Wiltjer only two short years ago rescued his tiny neighborhood in Beaverton, Oregon from foreclosure by stealing a pouch full of precious jewels from a pirate skeleton.
Did you know? Cauley-Stein allegedly rallied for the group to be called “The Explorers,” from another Spielberg-produced film of the same year, but was outvoted because no one remembers that movie and it was terrible.
Members: The 1996 Kentucky Basketball Championship Team
Description: A name tied to the 1959 gangster television show and the 1987 film of the same name, “The Untouchables” coach Rick Pitino dubbed the team with the prestigious name after Antoine Walker, Tony Delk, Derek Anderson and others led the Wildcats to an NCAA Championship win. Also, because senior Mark Pope threw notorious mob enforcer Frank Nitti off a building into a parked car.
Did you know? Nazr Mohammed won a best supporting actor Oscar that same year for his portrayal of tough-talking Chicago-Irish cop Jim Malone.
“The Breakfast Club”
Members: Ed Davender, James Blackmon, Winston Bennett, Rex Chapman and Rob Lock
Description: Fans of the John Hughes teen dramedy The Breakfast Club will immediately recognize the self-appointed title five players from the 1986-87 Wildcat squad gave themselves one morning while all sat in detention as head coach Eddie Sutton forced them to write essays after losing to an unranked Alabama team. They all learned a lot about themselves that day. And they taught us a thing or two about how we see ourselves as well.
Did you know? You see them as you want to see them, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what they found out was that each one of them was an athlete (Rex Chapman), a basket case (Winston Bennett), a princess (Rob Lock), a brain (James Blackmon) and a criminal (Ed Davender). Does that answer your question?
“The Morey Amsterdam Show”
Members: Ralph Beard, Alex Groza, Wallace Jones, Ken Rollins, Cliff Barker
Description: With a post-WWII America still rebuilding from the global conflict, the team which called itself “The Morey Amsterdam Show” was cheered and loved by audiences for both its championship play and its high-quality musical acts and comedy numbers. America could smile once again — Kentucky was the a first-time National Championship team and the Nazi threat was at long last over. And if you look closely among the 1948 Wildcats roster, you can spot a young Jacqueline Susann as a wisecracking cigarette girl.
Did you know? The 1948 Wildcats were brought to you by Borovax brand laundry soap. You’ll wonder where the spots went when you use Borovax.
“Laverne & Shirley”
Members: Dwight Anderson, Kyle Macy
Description: An offshoot of the previous year’s championship-winning “Happy Days” team, the hilarious best-friends duo of Anderson and Macy were constantly getting themselves into sticky situations both on — and OFF — the court. Who can forget the time Dwight Anderson won a five-minute shopping spree at Slotnik’s grocery store and the pair tried to stuff all of those groceries into one shopping cart? You probably did, that’s who.
Did you know? The nickname “Laverne & Shirley” was cancelled in 1982 after it lost popularity to “Simon and Simon,” the dual nickname of Michael Jordan and James Worthy.