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Fourth of July Fun: America vs. The Big Blue Nation

132904-4th-of-july-costumes

Hello, friends. Great sparkler. You shouldn’t hold that so close to your nipple, though, because you’re going to get burnt. Actually, you know what? You should probably put your shirt back on. And stop drinking.

 

Friends, you’re no doubt out celebrating your independence with friends and family at a Fourth of July party somewhere, and I hope it’s a smashing one. But just for fun, today, we thought it might be fun to take a look at some of the differences and similarities between two of our favorite nations: America and the Big Blue Nation. You know, just for fun. Happy Fourth, everyone — enjoy it and I’ll write you from the Peach Jam next week.

 

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The American Nation: Everyone waves flags on Independence Day.

The Big Blue Nation: One guy waves a really big flag on Game Day.

 

The American Nation: Revelers listen to music, bands.

The Big Blue Nation: Capilouto bans music, revelry.

 

The American Nation: Partiers fire up the grills.

The Big Blue Nation: Mitchell fires up the girls.

 

The American Nation: Once ruled by a corrupt leader who disliked Italians.

The Big Blue Nation: Once ruled by a corrupt leader who likes Italian.

 

The American Nation: Was formed with contributions from Jim Bowie and Jim Masterson.

The Big Blue Nation: Was formed with contributions from Sam Bowie and Jim Master.

 

The American Nation: Supported by farmers.

The Big Blue Nation: Screwed by Farmer.

 

The American Nation: Hated Duke (of Gloucester).

The Big Blue Nation: Hates Duke (University).

 

The American Nation: Recruited French general Lafayette.

The Big Blue Nation: Recruited French-Canadian forward Sheray Thomas.

 

The American Nation: Shoots fireworks into the sky over the Capitol Building.

The Big Blue Nation: Shoots fireworks down from the ceiling of Rupp Arena.

 

The American Nation: Friendly with Antigua.

The Big Blue Nation: Friendly with Antigua.

 

The American Nation: Winners.

The Big Blue Nation: Winners.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

16 Comments for Fourth of July Fun: America vs. The Big Blue Nation



  1. Murca
    5:31 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Cute.

    Though the nipple line was a little off-putting.



  2. TracyArflin
    5:35 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    “Screwed by Farmer”???? Maybe he did that to the state, but he didn’t do it to the UK basketball team!!
    And remember…the “nation” is bigger than the state!!



  3. Coach Durbin
    5:38 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    1) are you sure the nipple line wasn’t a little too close to home?



  4. afidler
    5:41 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Probably could have just taken the day off with the rest of us.



  5. Insider
    6:01 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Harrison twins do not have a qualifying act score.



  6. TT's Fake Boobs and Rat Face
    6:06 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    NO post would have been better than this….really.



  7. Hey Idiot!
    6:12 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Hey #5,You are NOT an insider. You are a Moron. The twins Do indeed have a qualifying ACT score. You haven’t checked the facts, have you?? On the other hand, you do not have a qualifying ACT score. And likely, never will. Get out of here and stay out. Don’t you have anything better do to on Independence Day? Apparently not!



  8. #5
    6:17 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Buys too many illegal narcotics from Chane Behanan



  9. RahRah
    6:23 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Awesome & hilarious. Love a Tomlin post.



  10. Lamar
    7:04 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    If this was the Gong Show, you be gonged



  11. Jarweed
    8:28 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Tomlin just conquered KSR…. on his way to world domination.



  12. Joe Dennison
    9:04 pm July 4, 2013 Permalink

    Mr Tomlin, I found most of your comments insulting. I would hope KSR would find a better writer than you. I agree with Lamar, Gong, Gong, Gone.



  13. Scott
    1:32 am July 5, 2013 Permalink

    I’ve learned to just skip to the next article when I see this guy’s name



  14. tampa satchel
    10:09 am July 5, 2013 Permalink

    I’m not normally a big fan, but this was amusing.



  15. Logan
    11:32 am July 5, 2013 Permalink

    Screwed by Farmer made me chortle



  16. Roy Combs
    11:36 am July 5, 2013 Permalink

    Funny! I enjoyed it!