Hello, friends. Good to see you as this festive holiday season ramps up. I see you’re ready to play Santa, or that you are not going to play Santa but instead have put on a great deal of weight. You carry it well, though it looks rather unhealthy. You might think about some new year resolutions.
As our beloved Cats cruise past mighty Samford and onward toward our next roadblock, it dawned on me that we know little-to-nothing about our next opponent Loyola University Maryland. And since, let’s face it, your workplace is probably on auto-pilot this week, maybe it’s a good time to sit back and learn a little bit about the Greyhounds, eh? Couldn’t hurt, right? Here, then, are a few Frequently Asked Questions about Loyola University Maryland (suggested reading time: 4-5 minutes) for you to waste some minutes with on this Wednesday afternoon as you ponder stealing some more candy from that bowl on Judy’s desk over in accounting. Let’s have a look, shall we?
What is Loyola?
Loyola University is a Jesuit, Roman Catholic private university located in Baltimore, Maryland. It hosts a student body of roughly 4,000 undergraduate and 2,600 graduate students. It is not to be confused with Loyola University Chicago or Loyola University New Orleans, though all three are NCAA Division I-competing schools in athletics.
Isn’t Loyola a chemical ingredient of potato chips?
Loyola is a reference to St. Ignatius of Loyola, a Spanish knight who founded the Society of Jesus, which is the basis for the Jesuits. He bound himself by poverty and chastity, neither of which are presumably practiced widely by university students at Loyola University Maryland. St. Ignatius is known as the patron saint of soldiers.
You mean “souljas.”
No, I mean soldiers.
What can I study at Loyola?
Loyola is broken into three distinct academic campuses: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Education and the School of Business and Management. Some notable alumni of Loyola include Heather Cooke, a cast member of Real World: Las Vegas; the reggae band Jah Roots, which formed when a group of Loyola students were studying abroad together in Belgium; and actress Laurie Wallace, star of the film Witchbabe: The Erotic Witch Project 3. Also, award-winning author Tom Clancy, who is probably most famous for having written Witchbabe: The Erotic Witch Project 3.
What is student life like at Loyola?
Average curriculum at Loyola involves a rounded program which integrates mathematics, social sciences and humanities — meaning that even if you’re pre-med, you’re probably going to have to take a class that requires you to go watch the plays put on by the school’s theater department. Also, Loyola is currently tied with Centre college with 81% of students participating in a study abroad program, which is absolutely crucial for learning to drink in foreign countries. Loyola has also ranked second in Princeton Review’s “Dorms Like Palaces” list, which means that when you’re finished dicking around in Ireland for a semester, you can come back to your palace-like dorm room. It’s a very tough life for Loyola students.
What can you tell me about Loyola University athletics?
The Loyola Greyhounds’ only NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament appearance came at the hands of coach Skip Prosser, who led the team to the tourney in 1994, lost the game and quickly used that credential to get a job as the head coach at Xavier and eventually Wake Forest. Loyola’s most famous athlete is arguably Michael Phelps, who was not a basketball player nor does he actually attend Loyola University, but only trains at the institution’s pools. G.G. Smith, son of former Kentucky coach Tubby Smith, is an assistant to men’s basketball head coach Jimmy Patsos. The school also boasts impressive lacrosse, crew and rugby teams.
What are lacrosse, crew and rugby?
Nobody knows how those sports are played.
Don’t forget Detective Jimmy McNulty. He went to Loyola.
He is not a real person; he was a character on The Wire.
The Wire was real.
No, it wasn’t. The social atmosphere on Loyola’s campus is considered to be very favorable to the students at the university. Concerts, shows and get-togethers dot the buildings and halls on weekend nights, and events like Midnight Breakfast, the Fall Concert and the Crab Feast are high points of student life each year.
Have you ever gotten crabs at Loyola?
Yes, many times. A strong alumni system also creates a sense of ongoing community at Loyola, with many alumni functions bring back past graduates for-
You said you got crabs at Loyola. Hahaaaaa.
I hate you. This is over.