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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

FAQ: Louisville Cardinals Basketball

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This is a great way to “class up” any sensibly-decorated room in your home.

Friends,
I hope your holiday season is going swimmingly. Here at the compound, the lights remain hung and a generally good feeling permeates the air. BTI is wearing his mistletoe belt and even our dear Mosley came home for the event, bringing the fattest goose in all the land. Truly, Father Christmas was good to us this year.

And as the end-of-year has arrrived, it can only mean the matchup against our reviled archenemy Louisville Cardinals. And as your roughly 19th favorite blogger on this site, I’d be remiss if I didn’t pass along some key information on this weekend’s, game. Here follows, then, some oft-asked questions on the gang in red down the road. As always, you’re welcome.

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What can you tell me about Louisville Basketball?
The Louisville Cardinals are the official team of the the University of Louisville in Louisville, Kentucky. They have two NCAA Championship titles and have appeared in 8 NCAA Tournament Final Fours. Their notable coaches have included Denny Crum and, currently, Rick Pitino.

That sounds great. What is the Cardinals’ record right now?
Nine wins and three losses, including losses to Charlotte and Western Carolina.

Wow, they got beat by Charlotte and Western Carolina? Those teams must be really, really good.
Eh.

Of what conference is the University of Louisville a part?
The Louisville Cardinals are a part of the Big East Conference, also known as “The Cardigan Circuit.”

Why is the University of Louisville’s team called the Cardinals?
The cardinal is the official state bird of Kentucky.

Dude, you know what would be a great t-shirt? A wildcat with a cardinal in its mouth.
Yeah, we’re pretty sure that one’s been done.

Oh. Well, how about if a wildcat is dangling a cardinal off a cliff, and the cardinal is all “You said you’d kill me last!” and the wildcat is all “I lied,” like in Commando?
That one’s all yours.

I’m considering attending this weekend’s UK — Louisville game. Any advice?
When attending any Louisville Cardinals basketball game, be mindful not to get too close to the court, or you may be assaulted by one of their players.

What style of ball do the Cardinals play?
It is widely known that all key coaching decisions are made during back room get-togethers at a prominent Louisville Italian restaurant.

So this is a rivalry thing, right?
Yes.

Why? They’re not in the same conference.
Because Louisville is only roughly 70 miles from Lexington, Kentucky.

I see. But wait. Why would anyone in Kentucky want to support the Louisville Cardinals when, only 70 miles up the road, there’s a team with the most all-time victories, over 2000 wins, seven national championships and arguably the most talented team in the country right now?
Exactly.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin