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Exploring the Cats’ “Coming of Age” In Oxford This Week

Hello, friends. I hope you’re well. What’s going on with you? No way. She said that? She crazy. Im’ma go over there right now and tell her what’s up. Girl, you still with Roger? He a dog. You just need to do you.

Friends, this weekend we face another potentially dangerous opponent in the Texas A&M Aggies, whose own Elston Turner went all Devan Downey on us a few weeks back and dealt us a loss on our home court in only their second game as an SEC contender. Dreadful, I think we can all agree. But oh, we were younger then. It was a simpler time. Our young Cats hadn’t quite figured out how the world worked. Just a bunch of mixed-up kids. On Tuesday night, with a win against Ole Miss, we turned a corner. So much of a corner, in fact, that the always excitable Dick Vitale even went so far as to announce that these Wildcats as a team “came of age” that night against the Rebels. Clearly, if you watched the game you’d find it hard to disagree. But in case you missed it, we’ve collated here those particular moments throughout Tuesday night’s game — the game where our boys became men. As always, it’s sure to waste your time, you’ll likely hate it, and I’ll see you guys here again next week.


First Half:


12:10 A block by Nerlens Noel — the third of his game so far — signifies that the rookie center has come to play and plans on being a defensive roadblock for Ole Miss scoring attempts.


11:47 Kyle Wiltjer comes up with a big defensive rebound, a jumper and a layup all in the span of one minute, signifying a more confident young sophomore — a drastic difference from only a mere seven days prior.


9:18 With an assist from Wiltjer, Jarrod Polson breaks away for a layup to give the Wildcats a 17-15 lead in a neck-and-neck battle. Jon Hood shaves for the first time and then votes.


1:45 Wiltjer assists Archie Goodwin with a dunk to close the growing five-point gap, followed seconds later by Noel’s stunning fifth block of the night. Sam Malone tears up his presentation on Uruguay in front of the class and instead delivers a message from the heart about how being popular isn’t everything.


Second Half:


15:20 Ryan Harrow spends a week at summer camp he’ll never forget, forging meaningful friendships which will last a lifetime and learning that he can accomplish anything. As he turns back to take one last look at Lake Wannapekita, he sees Sharon standing beneath a tree. She smiles at him and he knows they’ll cross paths again. It’s been one amazing month.


12:18 Tod Lanter has a torrid affair with his girlfriend’s sexy mother, then has a change of heart and races to the church to stop his girlfriend from getting married to another man. Julius Mays, Alex Poythress and Kyle Wiltjer take a two-day trek through the wilderness to see a dead body.


7:23 Archie Goodwin slips out after curfew to head to an underground dancing competition, where he learns more than just dance moves from the sassy but sexy Rosalinda. When his parents forbid him to see her again, he defies them to enter the ballroom dancing competition at a posh high school and turn the tables on the stuffy administrators and entitled classmates. He’s about to show them some moves they’ve never seen!


3:15 Willie Cauley-Stein is called away from tending his family’s farm to fight in the Revolutionary War, where he rises up through the ranks to become a general of his own fleet of ground forces fighting back the British infantry in the woods of the Adirondacks. One day he looks in a mirror to see his own aged face and realizes the war is over…but at what cost?


2:10 Nerlens Noel is a promising young college basketball star with his life ahead of him. Marshall Henderson is a tough-talking kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Together they forge a friendship that will defy the odds. But will Nerlens’ loyalty be put to the test when he finds out Marshall is the leader of a dangerous cult of drug-dealing human-bird warlocks?


1:02 Nobody puts Brian Long in a corner.

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

31 Comments for Exploring the Cats’ “Coming of Age” In Oxford This Week

  1. i liked it
    1:20 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    i liked it

  2. Bmack
    1:22 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Fantastic, as always. Well done.

  3. ...
    1:23 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    What the hell did I just read?

  4. Bob Skallen
    1:26 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    I enjoyed it.

  5. Otis
    1:27 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Thats exactly how I remember the game.

  6. Seriously?
    1:36 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    dude, two things..

    1. give me some of whatever you took before you wrote this

    2. how long does it take to kick in

  7. Uhhh…okay???

  8. Rockfield, KY
    1:37 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Ahhhh…..Lake Junaluska. So many camp memories. So many camp mammories.

  9. Jkwoftw
    1:40 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    I don’t know why, but it was cult of human-bird warlocks that really got me.

  10. Lol
    1:41 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Tomlin +1

  11. Matt Jones
    1:48 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Absolutely brilliant

  12. All Day
    1:50 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    absolute gold. No one writes like Tomlin.

  13. LansingCat
    1:52 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Thanks Tomlin! Killin’ it, as always.

  14. Wu
    1:56 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Like all his writing, this was STUPID. What a waste of time. No more reading of his lackluster work for me.

  15. Bus
    1:58 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Seriously, crack kills.

    …but I lol’ed.

  16. billywildcat
    2:02 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    “But at what cost?”…Classic!

  17. bakertom09
    2:05 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Thank you, KSR, for making writers include their names with their posts. That way we know when we see something by Tomlin we can just ignore it. The first 20 times or so it was mildly amusing, but doing the same thing over and over…

  18. Say What
    2:16 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Could you repeat that please im confused..

  19. Beth
    2:30 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Bravo, CM. Next time I expect someone to hold a boom-box over their head while it plays Peter Gabriel songs.

  20. Mike Hunt
    2:34 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    That was the stupidest shit I have ever read!!! I feel less intelligent having read it.

  21. KAinCO
    2:36 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Clearly there’s people in the comment thread that don’t understand the cleverness to this. Well done tomlin. Very creative

  22. Mike Hunt hurts
    2:42 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    #20. I agree w/ your first sentence. But I loved every word of it. Tomlin is the best writer on this site. This post made me see the game in an entirely different light. If not for Tomlin, I would have only seen a basketball game – a fun one and a great win for the team, but just a game none the less. Tomlin’s insights opened my eyes to everything else that was going on that night in Oxford. I’ll be more aware from here on out.

  23. Nick
    2:48 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    I can sum up this comment thread pretty easily: It is because of all the people that didn’t like or didn’t get this post that Parks and Recreation will more than likely be canceled after this season and I won’t get to enjoy watching it anymore. So I hate all of you that hate this post.

  24. Gold
    3:35 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Gold. This was gold, well done!

  25. Scratch
    3:37 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Here here Nick!

  26. Scratch
    3:38 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    or hear hear, I mean.

  27. bluebiscuit
    3:43 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Great work. All that was missing was a soulful look from Twany and a cheeseburger run to Red Robin wth Jarrod Polson.

  28. Randy Marsh
    4:14 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Hahahaha! “Julius Mays, Alex Poythress, and Kyle Wiltjier take a two-day trek through the wilderness to see a dead body…” – nice.

  29. Sir Brandon
    4:57 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    Mescaline packeth a mighty punch. A great read, Tomlin.

  30. Ibescootch
    5:19 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    23, that’s how I feel after reading all of Tomlin’s and NJT’s posts- which makes me wonder if they are one in the same. They both only post on Fridays, their posts are equal cleverness/obscurity/good writing, and the comment sections typically run along the same content themes: “it’s not funny anymore”, “why does this guy write for KSR?”, “I don’t get it at all…”, or the equally present, “best NJT/Tomlin post yet”, “genious, again”, etc. I think I’ve cracked it. I should get a prize.

  31. HeshimuEvans'2ndGradeTeacher
    6:09 pm February 1, 2013 Permalink

    #30 – Yeah, you really should, you “genious”. For the record, I do get it, I just don’t like it. Also, for the record, Parks & Recreation sucks!!! Lame as usual, Tomlin.