Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Excerpts from the “Addendums and Additional Information” Memo Concerning the University of Louisville Freshman Orientation Packet (2012)

Hello students!

We are very pleased to welcome you to the University of Louisville! We hope your first few days of moving in and meeting your new roommates and fellow students have gone well and, as always, any assault or theft claims may be filed via paperwork with the Department of Public Safety located in Wayne Hall. We are excited about and dedicated to your education for the next four or less years, and look forward to providing you the valuable tools you will need to fulfill a life of great worth beyond these halls. With all the flurry of activity over the past several days, Three Dollar Hennessy Night at the Student Center last weekend and the distraction of a pay-per-view World Extreme Cagefighting event on Monday, some mistakes were regrettably made in your original packet. Please be mindful of the following additional information and existing changes.

Sincerely,
James Ramsey, President
Office of the President

———

– Due to overwhelming demand, Wednesday’s Lip Dub Workshop has been moved to Ernst Hall.

——

The First-Year “Hug Circle” has been moved from Tuesday, September 4 to Thursday, September 6 7:30 pm in the back of Miller Hall. Please remember to tip and don’t forget to take advantage of the back-to-back “Kid Rock Block,” which features 2-for-1 “hugs” while the music plays. Please, no touching; violators will be asked to leave Hug Circle.

——

Designated campus ambassadors have been assigned to each hall to help you assimilate to college life. These ambassadors are there to help! Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance with your new neck tattoo. Please see G-Hole in the Residential Offices for contact information on how to find this advisor in your own dorm.

——-

– To avoid painful muscle injury, it is advised to please be careful when dropping it low.

——-

– The Freshmen Orientation Packet mistakenly printed that there is “no eating in the library.” Eating is permitted in selected areas throughout the library. This line should have read “No hating in the library.” We apologize for the miscommunication.

——-

– It is recommended that female students and their mothers avoid eye contact with Coach Pitino at all times.

——-

Use common courtesy to ensure success for all. If you’re asked to be a featured performer on a friend’s mixtape, it’s only responsible to in turn ask him to be featured on your mixtape. Everyone wins!

——-

All crunk must be pre-approved by the Dean of Students. Please complete and submit the appropriate forms before crunking out.

——-

– Remember that everyone wants to use the tanning beds; not just you. Be considerate!

——

– Not smoking is only permitted in designated non-smoking areas. If you are not in a designated non-smoking area, please do not not smoke.

——

Being a student has its privileges! Remember that in addition to discounts on restaurants and movies in the campus area, your Louisville ID also entitles you to special deals and discounts at area businesses such as Highland Cleaners, Papa Johns Pizza, Mr. Clean Car Wash, Cash America Pawn, Deja Vu, Foxy Lady, Classy Lady, Slightly Disheveled Lady, Bottoms Up, Stains, Lap Dancerz, Lap Dancerz II, Lap Dancerz IV-VIII, Diamonds Cabaret, Discharge, Pure Tin, Sequins III, Teasers, Teezers, Discount Fantasy Outlet, Itchy’s, The Eyesore Club, Table Dance Liquidators, Saggers, Vagina Hut and Chipotle.

——-

Freshman Movie Night will be held in the common room at Kersey Hall on Monday at 8:00 pm. This week’s showing will be Scarface, followed by Scarface. Refreshments will be served; please no bogarting.

 

 
 

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

16 Comments for Excerpts from the “Addendums and Additional Information” Memo Concerning the University of Louisville Freshman Orientation Packet (2012)



  1. jeyhey
    4:19 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    podcast please….lol



  2. jeyhey
    4:20 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    oh….and first



  3. theWilkman
    4:22 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    More Tomlin!



  4. Behind Enemy Lines
    4:23 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    Slightly Disheveled Lady – For Thick Sauce Ninjas



  5. Jeff Wilson
    4:28 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    What about the Gold Club or PT’s?



  6. KA in CO
    4:31 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    Vagina hut. Ha



  7. Owner of Vagina Hut
    4:35 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    Thanks for the plug, Tomlin! Vagina Hut is a great place to hang out and get your fill.
    Located near the Y. Next to the Gap. Parking in the rear.



  8. Owner of Vagina Hut
    4:37 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    And don’t worry, ladies, we’ve smelled worse.



  9. Musehobo
    4:44 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    Tomlinnnn! I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to not not smoke in the non-not-smoking area.



  10. Hal
    4:45 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    even the ppl who dont think tomlin is funny will find this hilarious. uofl is in everyone’s wheelhouse.



  11. crs1089
    4:48 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    This was a faint shadow in terms of quality compared to the rest of the day….



  12. barn
    5:15 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    can i smoke in a non-smoking/no-smoking/smoking /no fumar area?



  13. CPACAT
    5:16 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    11) oh go back to learning how to do governmental financial statements and get off the internet while at work;)



  14. bigbluejon
    5:57 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    no reading in the library either



  15. Fake Nate
    7:06 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    The Vagina Hut has great fish tacos.



  16. Brent
    7:21 pm August 30, 2012 Permalink

    There is no Kersey any more…even though I still call it that myself from time to time it is now remodeled and called the Duthie Center…many horrible memories there! Lol