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Eli Capilouto Has a Few More Things to Get Off His Chest

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Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

43 Comments for Eli Capilouto Has a Few More Things to Get Off His Chest



  1. Yo
    1:10 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Classic Tomlin



  2. Woods3030
    1:10 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Well done, sir. Bravo.



  3. Yes yes yes
    1:12 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    *golf clap.



  4. Idiot
    1:12 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Your article was not at all funny. I’m glad KSR thinks it’s such a big joke that the Rupp Arena project has fallen apart. Mr. Tomlin, you should be ashamed! And should no longer be writing for KSR!



    • Funny Bone(less)
      2:41 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      Wow.



    • jeff j
      2:47 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      its called “freedom of speech” Mr.. “DUH”



  5. Pulitzer
    1:14 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Well done sir! One could hear Eli’s monotone while reading.



  6. CJ
    1:21 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Hilarious as always!



  7. CATandMONKEY
    1:23 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Nice. Always a source of humor.



  8. Eli Capilouto
    1:25 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Tomlin,

    This post was effing hilarious.

    Sincerely,
    Eli Capilouto



  9. Bigger Blue
    1:26 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    PRICELESS!!!!!



  10. Seriously
    1:26 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Tomlin you are about as funny as a hipster is a unique individual. My suggestion for you is to put on a fedora & skinny jeans, then commit suicide. Please, I’m begging you, kill yourself.



    • jeff j
      2:48 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      calm down Mr. “seriously……………………its gonna be ok.



  11. average fan
    1:37 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Loved the Deez reference! Too, I don’t understand how to start sentences with the word too…



  12. Lavrinski
    1:40 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    ” invite you to speak to our representative Deez.
    Deez Nuts.”

    Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Tomlin has just won the internet for today. Everyone please go off-line. Thank you.



  13. Huh?
    1:42 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    You gave me a Tomlin post to read on my lunchbreak?



  14. Driver
    1:46 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Those yellow flashing turn signals are sent from above, please keep those in Lex. Too much pizza, though.



  15. RealUKFan
    1:49 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    This is the type of blog that shows the world that KSR does not know the difference between comedy and disrespect.



    • PhilUK18
      1:52 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      I know, right?! All this free content that I’m in no way forced to view makes me SOOOO MAD!!!!!



    • CATandMONKEY
      3:15 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      GOOD comedy (read:funny) is rarely respectful.



  16. Eric
    1:57 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Great post, as always. I love clicking on the comments section to see outrage from the handful of people with zero sense of humor.

    On that note, if you post as “RealUKFan” does that imply that anyone with a sense of humor is a fake uk fan? just wondering….



  17. BRENT RICE
    2:07 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Oh, yeah?! Well, I’ve got another Ultimatum Letter I’m writing even as I post this. You can expect to receive it by Monday, and I demand your response by next Friday. – B.R.



  18. ukbluek
    2:14 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    I just want to commend you for being able to crank out this comedic gold only a few hours after this story broke. Simply incredible, sir.



  19. theWilkman
    2:32 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Love it!



  20. Craig Sager's Suits
    2:36 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Serious or not, Mr President is right about the flashing yellow lights being in place instead of the old school green arrows, which actually worked BETTER. I don’t know if it’s a city or state gov thing but that crap needs to revert back. It’s not only a problem in lexington but in louisville as well.



    • Uhhh..
      4:47 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      Lexington still has green arrows. They just change to flashing yellow lights when the through lane lights turn green, thus allowing you to turn left when traffic clears instead of having to wait until the next green arrow. Did you not know that?



    • That settles it....
      5:24 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      I always thought that Craig Sager’s Suits was an idiot. This comment confirms it.



    • Traffic Engineer
      10:34 am May 23, 2014 Permalink

      Dear Craig Sager’s Suits,

      “Uhhh..” is correct, the flashing yellow allows you the opportunity to turn yielding to oncoming traffic when the normal signal light would otherwise be red. If you don’t like the flashing yellow, treat it as a red and sit on the sensor without turning. Like magic, the signal will eventually turn green. The main object is to allow for people to turn without waiting during off-peak traffic hours such as late at night and to facilitate a larger number of people turning per light cycle. Major cities have been doing this for well over a decade and I never understood why Lexington didn’t until I read your comment. Just like traffic circles, there will always be a percentage of the population that will refuse to allow change regardless of the increased efficiency. [mic dropped]

      Sincerely,
      Eli Capilouto



    • Craig Sager's Suits
      4:23 pm May 23, 2014 Permalink

      I am aware the yellow flashy lights allows you to still turn and all of that, I was just trying to say I preferred the old system, if I’m an idiot for preferring that, then so be it. I’m entitled to that opinion.

      What’s really bad is the “delayed” turn intersection. What was wrong with letting the 2 opposing turning lanes go and then change for the straight lanes to go soon after? I think the delayed ones are the worst.



  21. Deez
    2:41 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Well played.



  22. Bringith
    2:55 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    This post may go down as one of the best KSR has put out. Nice work Tomlin



  23. gentleman
    3:10 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    this is not one of the best posts of KSR. this is trash.

    comedy value might be high but appropriateness and class is low.



    • tltaworl
      3:33 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      I agree, its like they are bringing us this news in the most ridiculous manner possible. Hurumpffffff



  24. MtnCat
    3:11 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Eli should show us what UK has in mind for a basketball venue. And work to make it happen.
    He has showed his gall now show us the goal.

  25. Is the Champ’s Entertainment Complex what used to be just the old Champ’s Roller Rink? I’m really dating myself, but I haven’t lived in Kentucky since 1975, and I remember when Champ’s opened up and ran Scottie’s out of business because Champ’s was new and sparkly.

    A trip down amnesia lane as Robin Williams said in Dead Poet’s Society.



  26. Seriously
    3:14 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Why aren’t you dead yet? I’m not kidding, you have to kill yourself. Put a gun in your mouth, hang yourself, drink magic Johnsons jizz, I don’t care how you do it. Just kill yourself. You aren’t funny



    • catfan
      3:58 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      your post is really really gay.



    • WoogedyBoogie
      4:19 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      You’re about as cool as black jean shorts, seriously. You’re about as cool as dead babies. Like, seriously. You’re about as cool as telling people to commit suicide. For realsies seriously.



    • CATandMONKEY
      4:34 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      Seriously is either a 13 year-old or Dr. E-Cap himself.
      I find the latter a much more hilarious proposition.



  27. Thearmadillojackal
    4:13 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    I was laughing until I read that Suburgatory is no more, then I cried….



  28. RICE RICE BABY
    4:27 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    2 Dang FUNNY!!! Cheers 2 U Tomlin! Free internet 4 life!



  29. fakinnomah
    6:54 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

    If loving CM Tomlin is wrong then I don’t wanna be right!!!!



  30. Blue Boy
    11:04 am May 24, 2014 Permalink

    Eli is my favorite UK President of all-time!