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Airbnb Reviews from Tent City



Hello, friends. How are you? What have you been up to? Hey, why aren’t you talking? Hello? Friend? Wait a minute this IS A MANNEQUIN DRESSED AS YOU. Oh, there you are! Ha! You got me. I totally fell for it. Good one. Where did you get a mannequin?

Friends, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the line for Big Blue Madness tickets is in up and running and Tent City is in full force. If you’ve never been to Tent City, it’s kind of like Bonnaroo for the types of people you might see at your local barber shop. You have to get there early to get in line or you’re sunk — and getting a good place in line isn’t easy. That’s why it’s fortunate, then, that the hip new app Airbnb has begun to list open tent spaces in Tent City for those seeking accommodations. If you’re not familiar with Airbnb, it essentially allows you rent a room, a house, a space or just a bed for the night from someone who has an extra one open, and for a predetermined fee. But what spaces are available on Airbnb for Tent City 2014? And how are the reviews? Let’s look at some potential candidates in a piece we’ll call Airbnb Reviews from Tent City, shall we, and see if there are any deals out there? Enjoy, friends, and I’ll see you here next week.


Orange Tent, Northwest Corner
About this listing:
Spacious mylar tent sleeps three, offers moon flap and vented windows. Easy access in and out, light and airy.
Accommodates: 3
Nearest Restroom: 45 feet
“Not bad, close to Qdoba”
images-1images-1images-1images-1 by Marion P.
Linda and Tad were great hosts; they had Nutri-Grain bars and Capri-Suns for when we needed a snack and they really made us feel at home. Comfortable, warm. Will be back. Four stars.


Peaceful Oasis in Tent City, Close to Memorial
About this listing: Large, comfortable four-person dome tent, 63 square feet, with fiberglass poles and WeatherTec moisture repellent system.
Check-in time: 2:00 pm
Pet-friendly: No
“Great tent except for Gary”
images-1images-1images-1 by Jennifer H.
Was recommended to this tent by friends. Very nice tent but host Gary kept trying to hold my hand. Woke in the middle of the night to him watching me sleep; insisted on calling the tent “Smoochville” and trying to kiss me as he claimed to be the “Mayor of Smoochville.” Good tickets not worth this. Some underwear may still be missing. Avoid at all costs.


Great Spot for Superfans, Center of Tent City
About this listing: True Blue fans host other Wildcat supporters in six-person tent with zippered doors and cushioned tarp floor. Wind-resistent walls/roof.
Accepts Credit Cards?: Yes
Cancellation policy: 24 hour notice
“Perfect for Willie Cauley-Stein fans”
images-1images-1images-1 by Charles O.
Debra and Steve seemed really cool at first, big fans of Willie Cauley-Stein; later in the evening they started showing me pictures they drew of Willie as a half-man, half-dragon and reading fan fiction about him as a space wizard in love with a human woman named “Moonwolf” (clearly supposed to be Debra). When they told me they’d pay me $5,000 if I kidnapped him I called a friend to come pick me up. They are keeping my deposit and I’m okay with that.


Luxury Camping Above-Ground
About this listing: Heavy-duty polymer material, rainfly, metal pole support, sky-vue window
Minimum Stay: 1 night
Meals: No
“Wayne Just Tried to Kill Me”
images-1images-1 by Brad M.
Can somebody please tell the police I’m in the back of a truck tent and my host wayne just told me tried to give me a WILDCATS 2014 tattoo with a paperclip and when I refused he said he was going to murder me i convinced him to let me have time to write this review and im using it as my message for help im behind the papa johns please somebody help me two stars will not use this location again


Compact and Cozy
About this listing: Petite turnkey tent with great Memorial Coliseum view; friendly host.
Smoking: No
Accommodates: 1
“This Tent is for a Dog”
images-1 by Lawrence P.
Do not be fooled by the photo; this is a tent made for a dog. The picture is of a small dog, not a regular size tent with just a very large dog, like I thought. It is a very misleading picture and if you are a normal-sized human this is not the tent for you. The dog is very cute, however. And the view of Memorial is nice.That part is accurate.


De-stress and relax in peace!
About this listing: Woven polymer material, rain/wind resistant
Bed: None
“What is this thing?”
(no stars) by Shane T.
Too small. I want my money back. Body got cold during night. I better get great tickets for this. Next year will be getting in line early, with my own tent.


Originally posted September 19, 2014.

Reposting today because it’s one of my all-time favorite Tomlin pieces.  And because, ya know, Tent City is going on right now.

“This Tent is for a Dog” will never not be funny to me.

— Drew

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

All I want is a HI-C and a turkey sandwich. @CM_Tomlin

21 Comments for Airbnb Reviews from Tent City

  1. The Loco Pollo
    3:35 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Brilliant. I LOL’d.

  2. gordonm
    3:38 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    WOW! This piece on real estate is CREATIVE. Serious!

    • gordonm
      3:49 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

      Tomlin went with : “Something, I didn’t know”

  3. Drew Franklin
    3:41 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Compact and Cozy isn’t quite Tracy Is A Slut Chili but it’s up there. It’s in the conversation.

  4. somerset bill
    3:49 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    i immediately realized this post wasn’t based in reality at all, so i asked for my money back! they said i couldn’t get a refund since i hadn’t paid anything for it, so i went ahead and read the whole thing, and actually ended up thinking it was hilarious. 4 stars!

  5. Duuuuuude
    4:09 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Ohhhhh my! LOL

  6. hooha
    4:11 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    ‘im behind the papa johns please somebody help me two stars will not use this location again’

  7. Sir Brandon
    4:19 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Tomlin bringeth it yet again!

  8. Duncan Cavanah
    4:42 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Hilarious as usual. Tomlin is the absolute best.

  9. Pabloco
    5:39 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    I’m calling BS on Jennifer. Guy tried to kiss her and she still gave Gary 3 stars? Sounds fishy to me.

  10. Nerds
    5:42 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    The only person that “writes” for KSR worth reading. Very good stuff.

  11. Arms of Delk Legs of McCarty
    11:23 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    Such a great piece! THIS is what makes KSR great.

  12. Perfect Patterson
    11:34 pm September 19, 2014 Permalink

    That dog tent section had me crying.
    Too good.

  13. Coregidori Crosseliano
    11:28 am September 20, 2014 Permalink

    Dude, the guy with the tent on his head nearly made me choke on my cereal! C.M. Tomlin could write for SNL! Awesome read!

  14. Corey James
    3:28 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    This post comes up weekly in our conversations.

    Where’d you get a mannequin?

  15. Roger
    3:28 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink


    About The Listing. Very tall tent, big enough to stand up in.

    Length of stay: As long as you can handle it, or until your kicked out. These tents are very popular for brief stays.

    Pet Friendly: Not if you love your pet.

    Rent: Free of charge, UK picked up the tab on these units.

    Review. Constructed very well. Upon entering the odor was so foul it was clear that some UL fans occupied it prior to me. Nice space to sit or stand but no room to lay down. Constant pounding on the door made relaxation impossible. When I ventured outside there was a mob with rolls of toilet paper and holding their crotches, waiting to get in. I suppose that since it was described a porta condo, I should have known better than to try this listing.

  16. Nerds
    3:49 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    Someone is copying my “Nerds” moniker. That’s flattering.

  17. ArnoldthePig
    4:01 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    this is great!

  18. Dom Deluise
    4:16 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    This wasnt funny. Not even a grin. Judging from the comments, you all must be relatives or friends of Tomlin, and don’t wish to hurt his feelings. I understand.

  19. Earl Thomas Conley
    5:04 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    Eh…wasn’t a good one last year, Drew.

  20. jonesey
    5:09 pm October 2, 2015 Permalink

    Tomlin is brilliant and my favorite KSR writer! If I wasn’t a 40 yr old mother of 2, I would ask you to marry me…