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What’s your pretentious UNC fan name?

Stilman White (left) and Surry Wood (right)

Stilman White (left) and Surry Wood (right)

Stilman White (left) and Surry Wood (right)

It’s the holiday season, a time for us to sit back and count our blessings…like being Kentucky Wildcats and not Tar Heels.

You see, somewhere along the way, you learned that at Kentucky, we go to class like good boys and girls, we don’t associate with fraternities where boys wear coral short shorts and matching Croakies, we don’t lose basketball games to two different teams from the state of Iowa within a single calendar year, and we don’t give our kids first names that, in any other part of the country, would be last names.

It all starts with your name. Have you ever wondered what your name would have been like if your parents were entitled, pretentious, sweater-wearing Carolina Alumni?

Wonder no more, and be thankful you’re a UK Fan. Behold, the “KSR Pretentious UNC Fan Name Generator!”

Step 1: Select Your Birth Month/First Name

January: Wood
February: Sullivan
March: Fisher
April: Peterson
May: Carling
June: Brown
July: Ward
August: Surry
September: Adams
October: Barnes
November: Hastings
December: Ewing

Step 2: Select Your Birth Day/Middle Name

1st: Tarquin
2nd: Saunders
3rd: Montgomery
4th: Rupert
5th: Phoenix
6th: Octavius
7th: Auden
8th: Lennon
9th: Murray
10th: Salinger
11th: Chalmers
12th: Zane
13th: Silas
14th: Finn
15th: Oliver
16th: Asher
17th: Jasper
18th: Gaines
19th: Atticus
20th: Quinn
21st: Jackson
22nd: Simmons
23rd: Stilman
24th: Desmond
25th: Brice
26th: Rawlings
27th: Tanner
28th: Dane
29th: Burke
30th: Frasor
31st: Wooten

Step 3: Select Your Decade of Birth/Last Name

1930s: Channing III
1940s: Pershing II
1950s: Rhodes IV
1960s: Spaulding II
1970s: Travers III
1980s: Albers IV
1990s: Kettering III
2000s: Paddington II

What’s your UNC fan name? Share it in the comments! Using your fake name, introduce yourself to a Carolina fan at the game Saturday, and then wait until you see their face relax as if in the presence of fellow faux aristocracy.

Then be like, “Nah, just kidding, my name is Bill. Go Cats.” And be thankful that you, your parents, and your team don’t suck.

Article written by Fake Barney

36 Comments for What’s your pretentious UNC fan name?



  1. GoBigBlue10
    3:13 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Barnes Simmons Kettering III



  2. Sublem
    3:14 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Sullivan Simmons Albers IV

    LOLOLOL



  3. nate
    3:16 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ewing Montgomery Kettering III



  4. CatsfaninFL
    3:22 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Adams Frasor Albers IV



  5. Sir Brandon
    3:24 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ward Zane Spaulding II. And here I thinketh the moniker Sir Brandon to be ostentatious…



  6. oddthomas
    3:24 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Peterson Tanner Travers III



  7. lexslamman
    3:25 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Wood Dane Albers IV



  8. RBT
    3:27 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ewing Zane Albers IV



  9. UKAJB
    3:36 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    I actually have great friend that graduated from UNC (he’s from Winston Salem). His name…..?? Branch Kluttz.



  10. SuperJman
    3:46 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Adams Saunders Travers III



  11. King Kelly Coleman
    3:48 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ward Atticus Albers IV, hahaa



  12. KA
    3:48 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Surry Tarquin Travers III



  13. MPoole
    3:49 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ewing Quinn Travers III



  14. Lpool03
    3:49 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Adams Montgomery Albers IV



    • AmandaLou
      8:34 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

      My name is Adams Montgomery Albers IV as well.



  15. tbradg
    3:52 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Brown Stilman Travers III



  16. BTownUKFan
    3:52 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Wood Atticus Rhodes IV at your service maim. I’m allowed to use ‘Woody’ until I graduate college.



  17. J-Dub421
    4:01 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Peterson Jackson Travers III.

    This post is hilarious. I literally laughed out loud.



  18. Adam From Awesome Trot
    4:06 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Surry Phoenix Albers IV



  19. Great American
    4:17 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Sullivan Jackson Albers IV my good sir. Say, have you heard about the new ski resort the Vanderbilts and Kennedys are frequenting this winter. What a trashy bunch of hooligans. Everyone knows the only one to go to is one the Rockafellers visit.



  20. jeffj
    4:23 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    surrey tar quin Rhodes IV . dare not mis-pronounce my esoteric name as i will be utterly upset. And no you cant touch me or put your arm around me. (unless its a photo op of a Kentucky fan. GO CATS ! kill the heels.



  21. Blue Hounddog
    4:23 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Adams Simmons Spaulding II….my friends call me ASS



  22. Daddy Jorge
    4:39 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ward Simmons Travers III



  23. Humdittydiddycatsbyfiddy
    4:41 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Carling Atticus Kettering III…..so bad it makes me lol



  24. Willy
    4:44 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Peterson Lennon Pershing ll, and my real name really is Bill!! LOL



  25. bouzoukiman
    4:46 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Surry-Surry Channing III.

    Seriously, the last name as first name thing is WAY out of hand EVERYWHERE in my book. People from all walks of life are naming their kids after the mom’s maiden name. I saw a kid name “Hamilton” and his parents called him “Hammie”. HAMMIE for Pete’s sake! It HAD to be from the maiden name. Is there no compassion for what this kid is going to go through in life???



    • bouzoukiman
      4:49 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

      BTW, I just chose the above name after “Boutros-Boutros Gollie” (sp?). If a name is nice you have to use it twice!!!



  26. memphis wildcat
    4:48 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ward Montgomery Spaulding II. My cousin is Roebuck Sears Spaulding II



  27. FlySoup
    5:09 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Brown Desmond Albers IV



  28. Willy
    5:42 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Just a thought….my UK buddies can just call me PLP 2 !!:):)



  29. JP Livco
    6:10 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Sullivan Phoenex Spaulding II. I’ll wear a polo with the collar turned up.



  30. ares1
    7:07 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Hasting Lennon Travers III and I never slice (caddyshack)



  31. dukesuxone
    7:16 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Hastings Octavius Rhodes IV. Guess that makes me H.O.R. 4 . I don’t wish bad luck on anybody but these pretentious TAR HOLES deserve their just deserts. I hope they have to remove Banners & vacate wins all the way back to Mr. 4 corners himself ( that’s Dean Smith for you youngsters) would serve them right with all that Carolina Way horseshit. We did the time for our crime, they are no better. Having said all this they will walk away Scott free & Deputy Dawg will not have his or Deano’s rep tarnished for all their Carolina “CHEATING Ways.

    I hope Coach Cal. does not call off the dogs Sat., we owe good ole’ Roy a BIG BLUE A$$ whipping for
    1990 ( ku 150- UK 95) GO BIG BLUE let’s show these tarholes the KENTUCKY WAY & MOP the floor with them. GO CAT’S



  32. Rixter
    8:34 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Ward Atticus Rhodes IV.
    With a white sweater jauntily tied around my neck, no doubt.



  33. catfan74
    9:20 pm December 11, 2014 Permalink

    Brown Burke Travers III, and I love Argile



  34. b-dub
    9:26 am December 12, 2014 Permalink

    Brown Gaines Spaulding II