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UofL Frantically Trying To Find Perfect Last Scandal For 2016


Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Like a cake in need of icing the University of Louisville is frantically searching for their pièce de résistance to cap off a successful year of scandals. In a year that has seen the university dealing with the fallout from the well publicized scandal that involved prostitutes in basketball player’s dorm rooms, investigations into the finances of the the UofL foundation, the removal of the University’s president, a scandal involving the football team receiving game plans from an opposing team’s radio host and others, the university is looking to cap off a banner year with one last big dollar scandal.

“Ideally, we’d like this last scandal to have some sizzle, you know, some pizzazz to really send this year out right,” university spokesperson DJ Woodrow Ramsey said. “I mean we’ve covered sports, politics, nightlife, everything. We have this academic accredidation probation in our back pocket but we really want something with more flash to end out this spectacular year of scandals.”

If you have any scandals you’d like to see UofL use to polish off their exceptional year in scandal please leave them in the comments below.

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Article written by Harold Leeder