The plan for this morning was to recap whatever John Calipari said on The Colbert Report last night, but that plan was tossed out the window after Colbert owned the interview, as he always does. Cal, rarely interrupted when he speaks, took a backseat to Colbert on the Comedy Central set when he stopped by to plug his new book. Colbert was hilarious in his questioning of the “Players First” system and Cal, though trying to be serious, couldn’t help but laugh throughout the interview.
So this morning, instead of summarizing Calipari, let’s laugh at Stephen Colbert’s funniest comments from the short segment on his show last night.
“Players first? Don’t we have to start with the coach. You’re being too humble, sir, you put the team together. Without you, it is just five tall guys staring at their shoes.”
The introduction set Calipari up for his “Players First” rant (the one we all know by heart) but Colbert quickly cut him off at “servant leadership” to ask how one can serve and lead.
“What the hell is that? You’re either a servant or a leader, sir. The leader leads the servants.”
“You’re criticized sometimes for having a lot of one-and-done guys; what does that mean, one and done, and can that be cured with viagra?”
Cal said he doesn’t like the term ‘one and done’ and that he prefers ‘succeed and proceed’ instead, to which Colbert told him, “It also rhymes so it must be true.”
“What is it about your leadership that makes people want to flee from you?”
Colbert was shocked when Cal said he has guys returning this year “for the first time,” making Colbert wonder why everyone is in such a hurry to escape.
“If you could get them to stay for two years, this might help you. Here’s another rhyme: ‘Two and Toodaloo.'”
Cal, laughing hysterically, said he will trademark that and let Colbert know how it does.
“I’ll see you in court,” Colbert quipped back.
Check out the full video…