I made my first trip to the NBA Summer League in Las Vegas today, and I gotta tell you, it was a terrible time. Top five worst sporting event I’ve ever attended. Happy for the UK guys. Good for them. The summer league is boring as hell. Never again.
To make things worse, it is way too expensive. It’s borderline robbery by the league to charge its die hard fans 28 dollars to watch players they’ve never heard of, who will never see an NBA roster. Twenty eight bucks? It should be free. Free to anyone who has any interest in watching crap basketball.
We didn’t hang around long after watching a few quarters of Willie Cauley-Stein and a few minutes of Karl-Anthony Towns, so I don’t have a whole lot to report on. But this is a work trip and work must be done, so here are things I would rather do with $28 than go back to the NBA Summer League.
Put it on black.
Because then I would have $56.
Ride the High Roller at the LINQ.
A daytime pass to the new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel is $27.95. It takes about 30 minutes to go around, which is much better than 30 minutes of Sim Bhullar.
Tour the Hoover Dam.
I hear I can take all the dam pictures and ask all the dam questions I want. Like, where’s the dam bait?
Record an album at Brickhouse Recording Studio.
For a cool $25, my debut album will be recorded, mixed and ready for iTunes in one hour.
Two shots of Fireball at The Bourbon Room.
They’re $14 apiece there. I know that because I purchased several of them last night. And took this photo of Tomlin…
The roller coaster at New York New York.
I think that thing still exists. I don’t frequent that end of the strip.
Eat the $4.99 steak and eggs special.
Six of them.
Shoot a full auto MP5.
It’s only $29 to go all Rambo out in the desert at Battlefield Las Vegas.
Endless mimosas at Lavo brunch.
I’ll be there tomorrow morning. Looks like a terrible time…
Ride the zipline over Fremont Street.
Who wouldn’t want to fly 77 feet over all the street performers in old Vegas.
Like this guy…
Speaking of that guy…
Hand that guy $28.
He earned it.
See Nathan Burton Comedy Magic at Planet Hollywood.
HE CAN CUT A SHOWGIRL IN HALF.
Whatever $28 will get me here.
Cab to In-N-Out and back.
Double-double. Animal style.
Vomit on top of the Stratosphere.
The Big Shot ride on top of the Stratosphere is only $15. I can throw up twice!
Pay this guy to stop handing me cards.
Or this guy.
Flush $28 down the Casino Royale toilet and watch the summer league games on TV.
Simply put, the NBA Summer League is boring and overpriced.