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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

The Real People Of The Peach Jam

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Nike’s EYBL Peach Jam in North Augusta, South Carolina is the hottest spot in basketball recruiting every year. College coaches from all over the country fly in to watch the nation’s most elite high school basketball players in a five-day event, the biggest stage of the summer.

By now you know all about the participants and the coaches in town to watch them play, but unless you’ve been to the Peach Jam and taken in the whole scene, you don’t know anything about the many other faces in attendance. So today I present to you a KSR special: a behind-the-scenes look at The Real People Of The Peach Jam.

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The Angry Parent

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We all know “the angry parent” (if you don’t, you are the angry parent) and the loudest and craziest in the country gather here in Augusta for the Peach Jam. With the highest level of high school basketball comes the highest level of insanity in the stands.

The Assistant Coaches Who Are Overly Nice To Everyone, Hoping To Land A Better Job

This is a big weekend for the recruits, but it’s also a big weekend for that hungry youngster looking to climb the college basketball coaching ladder. Lowly assistants from the Vermonts, Furmans and Toledos of the world can be seen hobnobbing with head coaches of bigger programs whenever the opportunity presents itself. For example, I watched one aspiring young chap do everything but massage Bill Self’s shoulders as they sat courtside during the afternoon session. Self was not interested in the rook’s many attempts to strike up a conversation, but he wasn’t going away without giving his two cents about every player on the court.

The People Who Were Told To Not Stand In The Corner But Didn’t Listen

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Fire Marshal, anyone?

The People Who Were Told To Not Stand In The Corner And Listened

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Birdseye view of the action.

The Kids In The Lobby Who Need Supervision

Seriously, who is watching all of these kids? One of them threw a piece of a pretzel at me earlier. This isn’t free daycare. Get these kids out of here.

The Old Man Using The Gym Because It’s His Gym And A Basketball Tournament Won’t Stop Him From Getting His Wednesday Workout In

Maybe the most bizarre moment of the trip happened Wednesday in Atlanta when an old man walked out of the locker room in nothing but his briefs and a towel draped over his shoulder to watch the end of the game. I guess the Suwanee gym was still open to its regular members and he wasn’t going to let AAU basketball ruin his weekly routine on the StairMaster.

The Jersey Chaser In Training

Just as the Peach Jam is the beginning of a bright future for the boys in jerseys, it’s also the beginning of a lifelong thirst for the girls who like the boys in jerseys. Young groupies make their presence known outside the locker rooms.

The Fat Guy Carrying A Sweat Towel

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One prominent head college basketball coach once told us there is always a massively overweight friend of every AAU program, standing in the corner near the bench, wiping his face with a sweat towel throughout the game. Coach K, I mean, that prominent head college basketball coach, was exactly right, too. There is always one Biggest Loser candidate in every gym, every game.

The Guys Who Think They’ll Strike Gold With A YouTube Video

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Someone has to make all of those YouTube videos we watch religiously throughout the recruiting periods. You’re looking at the masterminds behind those videos, the guys who hope to get one with 100,000 views so they can pay rent.

The UK Fan

Go in any of the four courts, make one quick scan of the crowd, and I guarantee you you will find at least one Kentucky fan. Decked out in a UK polo or a ’12 National Championship tee, the UK fan is often here alone, further proving their dedication to the Cats. Ridge Runner, one of our favorite KSR commenters, makes the solo trip to the Peach Jam every year, although we missed him on Thursday.

Also, a special shout-out to the gentleman who watch Jaylen Brown, Diamond Stone and Doral Moore in Atlanta Wednesday night. I don’t know who you are, but you were cheering for the UK targets like they are already commits, and your enthusiasm did not go unnoticed.

The Blogger That Takes A SnapChat Of His Knee Because It Is Touching Tom Izzo’s Knee, When He Should Be Paying Attention To The Basketball Game That Is Right In Front Of Him knee

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

5 Comments for The Real People Of The Peach Jam



  1. Jim Harris
    3:56 pm July 19, 2014 Permalink

    I consider myself a very avid college basketball fan, but I declare this reads more like an insane asylum of 60 years ago than a high-powered basketball gathering. I’m glad that I don’t care THAT much.



  2. kmart
    5:38 pm July 19, 2014 Permalink

    Gonna show this to my wife to prove I’m not THAT crazy.



  3. UKBlue
    6:43 pm July 19, 2014 Permalink

    I’m sorry, unless this is business related & I don’t mean hanging on trying to get something out of it as being business related; if you have nothing better to do in your life then go watch some high school kid play basketball, then you seriously need to reevaluate EVERYTHING in your life. Then again you can’t when you apparently have no life. Dysfunctional Crazy parent is trying to recapture whatever in their life thru their kid; the parent wonders why their kids screwed up, maybe because the parents screwed up.



  4. Shawon
    7:27 pm July 19, 2014 Permalink

    The angry parent looks a lot like Frank Martin.



  5. truth
    8:58 am July 20, 2014 Permalink

    Drew, you are so cool and hip! How old are you again?