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Geek the Centre College python is missing

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Heads up, Danvillians: there may be a python loose on the grounds of Centre College. Earlier this week, students at Centre received this email informing them that Geek, the school’s beloved Ball Python, was either taken or escaped from his aquarium in the science department:

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My Danville sources tell me that the caretaker, Dr. Storz, is very worried that the snake, which is very old and three to four feet in length, will die if not returned to his proper habitat. There is now a $200 reward:

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Where’s Ace Ventura when you need him??

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

18 Comments for Geek the Centre College python is missing



  1. Cincy Cayt
    1:11 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Hope it hasn’t been as cold there as it is up here. Hope they find him alive and well!



  2. YSR2KSR
    1:22 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    the snake finally wised up and is slithering his way to a better school. hopefully the poor soul makes it to sewanee before hes found!



    • C6H0
      1:25 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Given your penchant for capitalization and punctuation, it’s clear you are worthy of a Sewanee education.



    • CatsFanFrankfort
      1:30 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      C6H0 – Nice.

      I graduated in 2008. When did Centre get a python?!



    • Grammar King
      1:41 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      My thoughts exactly. I graduated in 2007 and never remember talk of a “beloved python,” unless they’re talking about any number of males on campus running the Flame. Although, come to think of it, it might also have had to do with my complete avoidance at all costs of science and math classes while there.



  3. Biglaw Dawgin'
    1:29 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    My money’s on him being somewhere in the cruxes of the building. When you find him, just drive him down to South Florida and dump him in the glades like everyone else does. He clearly doesn’t like living in that box.



  4. Transy
    1:31 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Centre is for suckers



    • Steve
      1:40 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Transy and Centre are both for entitled little punks.



    • Hartline
      1:42 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Or people who are actually intelligent and want to accomplish worthwhile goals in their lives.



    • Grammar King
      1:42 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Ha, says the person who couldn’t get into Centre.



    • Hoo-rah
      1:50 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      **Centre is for suckres.



  5. catfanfromky
    1:58 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    He’s probably at the Boyle County pool shooting a scene with the Turtle Man.



  6. RealCatsFan
    2:08 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Keep your eyes our for someone sporting a new belt or a pair of boots with that distinctive pattern on them. There be your culprit!



    • BetterUse
      2:19 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Or a holster for my 1911.



  7. Old Codger
    2:08 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    If they need a back-up, I’ve got a hairy python they can use. It’s not too active unless it sees sorority girls in bikinis.



  8. JDog
    2:16 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    If an Athlete finds the Snake can he accept the $200 Reward or will that be a NCAA violation… Or how about if a “recruit” on a visit finds the snake????? ha



  9. Yev
    2:54 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Whoever let their 2 year old handle a ball python is someone who maybe should not be allowed to make that decision. I dont care how tame they feel it is. Go to youtube, you will find tons of pet pythons that attacked their owners out of the blue. And a 2 year old stands no chance against a decent sized python.



  10. FakeTurtleMan
    3:11 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I can’t believe I haven’t been mentioned yet and nobody has called me.