Here’s a bizarre news story for a slow Monday: a man in Murfreesboro, Tennessee was arrested on Friday night for attempting to have…relations…with an ATM and a picnic table. Don’t believe me? Here’s what Officer Michael Rickard had to say: (Warning–official police language potentially offensive to children and/or prudes)
“Mr. Hutton entered the bar and walked to the ATM. Once at the ATM, Mr. Hutton pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals, Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM,” Rickard said.
After that, the man–49-year-old Lonnie Hutton–walked into The Boro Bar & Grille wearing no pants and thrusting his hips in a provocative manner. The staff escorted him outside, where he started going at it with the picnic table. Needless to say, the police were called and Hutton was put behind bars, and who knows what he did with those.
Tennessee: making Kentucky look better since 1796.