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Tennessee man arrested for having…relations…with an ATM and a picnic table

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Here’s a bizarre news story for a slow Monday: a man in Murfreesboro, Tennessee was arrested on Friday night for attempting to have…relations…with an ATM and a picnic table. Don’t believe me? Here’s what Officer Michael Rickard had to say: (Warning–official police language potentially offensive to children and/or prudes)

“Mr. Hutton entered the bar and walked to the ATM. Once at the ATM, Mr. Hutton pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals, Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM,” Rickard said.

After that, the man–49-year-old Lonnie Hutton–walked into The Boro Bar & Grille wearing no pants and thrusting his hips in a provocative manner. The staff escorted him outside, where he started going at it with the picnic table. Needless to say, the police were called and Hutton was put behind bars, and who knows what he did with those.

Tennessee: making Kentucky look better since 1796.

[Tennessean.com]

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

21 Comments for Tennessee man arrested for having…relations…with an ATM and a picnic table



  1. DB11
    7:02 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    During the summer I only come here for the weird stories about the pervs on the other side of our southern border.



  2. Fox Noose
    7:07 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    He kinda looks like Phil Fulmer.

    Must be in his genes.

    If I was a VOL, I’d swear Hutton’s mother was an ATM or a picnic table.



    • Jerry
      8:16 am May 20, 2014 Permalink

      Looks more like Oscar Combs to me.



  3. rainman
    7:08 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Hey, at least he didn’t kill a tree!



  4. BNClay
    7:17 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    What else would you expect from a bunch of butt chuggers?



  5. Mr. Hutton
    7:29 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Beating prostitutes at their own game.



  6. Uneeda Hobby
    7:32 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Mrs.T.T.:Thank you so much for searching the news in your state of residence and passing along the nuggets you think we would find interesting. We are truly enlightened because of you.



  7. ATM
    7:32 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Would you f*ck me? I’d f*ck me…I’d f*ck me so hard.



  8. Seriously
    7:42 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    So, maybe he was making a deposit?



    • Seriously
      7:48 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

      But got slapped with a penalty for early withdrawal.



  9. Make Me Understand
    7:58 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    I’m not sure why this story is reported on the Kentucky Sports Radio blog.



  10. RuppSays
    8:16 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    I laughed so hard I peed my pants!



  11. Nobody
    8:27 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Make me understand if you don’t like it don’t come to the site . Exactly what sports story would you talk about in may??



  12. Calipartytime
    8:39 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    1 He thought it was a sperm bank and was making a deposit
    2 Will he face a penalty for early withdrawal ?



  13. Anne
    8:41 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    You guys are freaking hilarious lololol!!



  14. Calipartytime
    8:56 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    3 He made an early withdrawal when he saw how much the transaction fee was…



  15. Funkycat75
    9:38 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    Never go ATM. Never. It’s not sanitary.



  16. greg
    11:18 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    It sounds like he may suffer from Kluver Bucy Syndrome.



  17. YSR2KSR
    11:26 pm May 19, 2014 Permalink

    meth or molly? u decide



  18. Ralph
    8:18 am May 20, 2014 Permalink

    BARSTOOL SPORTS



  19. Drew P Weiner
    12:21 pm May 20, 2014 Permalink

    First thing that popped into my mind was Bad Grandpa. Sir, I don’t expect you to understand but I’ve got my penis stuck in the soda machine.